Placebo Domingo
Because some men just want to watch the world turn.
She got into treble after the concert. (Please continue to make lots of music puns please)
It was her aria of expertise.
...because she's always a little horse.
They wanted to hit the high Cs.
It was like everything he said was just "Mi Mi Mi Mi Mi!"...
A snotty Pavarotti!
Buttermilk, because it's cultured.
Aria going to finish that?
Feet are low...
He's been practicing for this role for months. He goes down to the opera house on the day of the audition, only to find he's come down with a sore throat and can't hit his notes anymore. In a panic, he asks one of the directors if they can postpone his audition.
"I'm sorry," says the director, "but we can't delay an audition for just one performer. That would set a bad precedent. Instead, I'll let you in on a little opera house secret." The director pours the man a cup of warm, smelly liquid. "Drink this. It's a special tea to help your throat. The recipe has been passed down for decades in this opera company, and I guarantee it will make you able to sing again."
The man wrinkles up his nose and takes a swig. "Euch! This is... awful! What's in this tea anyways?"
"Well, it's a secret herbal tea blend made with... well... fish broth." The director replies. "Tuna, specifically. We've found it helps soothe the throat better than any other fish we've tried."
Sure enough the man is able to sing again! He hits all his notes and gives an exemplary performance.
At the end of the auditions, he finds the director that gave him the tea. "So... what did you think? Did I get the part or not?" He asks.
"I'm sorry," said the director, "you performed well, but we've decided to give the part to someone else."
"That's OK," the man says, "I'm just really grateful for the Opera-Tuna-Tea."
She had a beautiful set of pipes.
Aria Speedwagon
She was convicted of Timbre-ing with evidence
It's called Carmen.
I was ripping ticket stubs for an opera performance at my college last night when an older gentleman handed me his ticket and said, "I'm a colonel. Is that still okay?" His wife and I were a bit confused, but I said yes, that was perfectly fine.
"Well this ticket says 'General Admission,' but I'm only a colonel."
His wife groaned and I laughed. Highlight of my night.
Have you heard about the new opera that Johann Strauss wrote, it is called
Die Flederballs
They wanted to hit the high Cs.
