Onychophora shoots a gooey slime that completely immobilizes the victim. Then the worm comes up and makes a cut in it with its "knife" from the jaw. And then he injects saliva inside, dissolving the insides of the prey, which he then drinks.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Thryloz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 21 2021
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๐Ÿ”ฅ Onychophora shoots a gooey slime that completely immobilizes the victim. Then the worm comes up and makes a cut in it with its "knife" from the jaw. And then he injects saliva inside, dissolving the insides of the prey, which he then drinks. v.redd.it/6mez4pnctx681
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Thryloz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 21 2021
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Onychophora or Velvet worm hunting gfycat.com/thoughtfulfrayโ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/providencepro
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 01 2021
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Onychophora shoots a gooey slime that completely immobilizes the victim. Then the worm comes up and makes a cut in it with its "knife" from the jaw. And then he injects saliva inside, dissolving the insides of the prey, which he then drinks.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Thryloz
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 21 2021
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Onychophora, or velvet worm, a pan arthropod that gives birth to live young, with hierarchical social structures, that hunts by firing sticky webbing from its head and trapping its prey. reddit.com/gallery/mm8r5h
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/hails8n
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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TIL that mammals are *not* the only animals whose offspring are connected to the mother's body via a placenta during development. Many species of the phylum Onychophora, the velvet worms, have uteruses and placentas too. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onyโ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/camwynya
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 05 2021
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Onychophora, commonly known as velvet worms or more ambiguously as peripatus, is a phylum of elongate, soft-bodied, many-legged panarthropods.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/MindFlayer003
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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Jack, here is a many legged cutie. This is an onychophora or velvet worm a panarthropod. They shoot glue to stick prey to the ground then waddle over and suck out their insides
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ninja_monkey777
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2020
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Onychophora species. The Velvet worm.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Aussie-Ants
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 17 2018
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Photoshop this Onychophora fark.com/go/10437692/i.imโ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/farklinkbot
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 05 2019
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Onychophora (the Velvet Worm) has the cutest feets
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SleeplessShitposter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 28 2018
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TIL of Velvet Worms (Onychophora) a phylum of Invertebrates that have gun-like slime glands that they shoot to catch prey. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onyโ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mr_Miyagii
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 20 2016
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Adorable Velvet Worm (Onychophora) imgur.com/4epNyCb
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mistress_09
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 12 2015
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What has 13 to 43 tube-like legs, a single spike tooth, and dual slime pistols? Onychophora, The Velvet Worm youtube.com/watch?v=f8oV4โ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/eggo
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 19 2010
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Onychophora, Just look at its little legs. youtube.com/watch?v=FbVDYโ€ฆ
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/H0110WPeTaL
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 15 2013
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/anywhereiroa
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic.

The nurse asked the rabbit, โ€œwhat is your blood type?โ€

โ€œI am probably a type Oโ€ said the rabbit.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/snc8698
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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What's the opposite of lady fingers?

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/GamerJoe85
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 31 2022
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Iโ€™ve got this disease where I canโ€™t stop making airport puns.

The doctor says it terminal.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/xIR0NPULSE
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 28 2022
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Just because it's a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/CzarcasmRules
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Leckzsluthor
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
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I heard that by law you have to turn on your headlights when itโ€™s raining in Sweden.

How the hell am I suppose to know when itโ€™s raining in Sweden?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/justshtmypnts
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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Puns make me numb

Mathematical puns makes me number

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/tadashi4
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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So my mom is getting her foot cut off today.. (really)

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Slimybirch
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 27 2022
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Petition to ban rants from this sub

Ants donโ€™t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/drak0ni
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 24 2022
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.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SupremePalash
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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French fries werenโ€™t cooked in France.

They were cooked in Greece.

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/frexyincdude
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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Why does Spider-Man's calendar only have 11 months?

He lost May

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Toku-Nation
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 26 2022
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When I was a single man, I had loads of free time.

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 25 2022
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You've been hit by
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/mordrathe
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 20 2022
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Girlfriend got me good. Never been more proud of her.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mannheimd
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 29 2022
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My 4 year oldest favourit joke, which he very proudly memorized and told all his teachers.

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/smoffatt34920
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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I'm sick of you guys posting dumb wordplay in here for awards and upvotes.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/diggitygiggitycee
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 21 2022
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Chemist n Plumber
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Big_Succotash8442
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 31 2022
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As a doctor, I have never made a joke about unvaccinated babies before.

But let me give it a shot.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/porichoygupto
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 30 2022
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies ๐Ÿ˜‚

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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A coworker named Celcius recently retired from my company, so they hired a guy called Kelvin to replace him.

Heโ€™s the new temp.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/SolicitedTitPics
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 30 2022
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My wife left me because I couldnโ€™t stop doing impressions of pasta

And now Iโ€™m cannelloni

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/bluestratmatt
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 11k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Eoussama
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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Argument at family dinner...
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ScottPowell567
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 30 2022
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Steve JOBS would have made a better President than Donald Trump

But thatโ€™s comparing apples to oranges

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Ok-Ingenuity4838
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 22 2022
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I just flew in from Chernobyl

And boy are my arms legs.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JhopkinsWA
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23 2022
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