Onopordum Acanthium Puns

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

So this was originally just going to be the twenty or so types of organism in Minecraft that lack Panduni names. While translating those though, I got a little carried away.

The thing about species names is that they are inherently wildly variable. There are so many species in the world and so many of them are so similar. The common name for any given organism, and even whether it is considered a unique type of organism, is often completely different in different languages, and sometimes even in different dialects of the same language. For example, daisies, chamomile, and chrysanthemums are all considered distinct types of plant in most European languages, each with their own specific species; but in Chinese and Japanese, they're all called various types of "菊". To make matters worse, species names are one thing dictionaries tend to be bad at, so I was running up against the limit on how much I can learn about Hindi and Swahili online for a lot of this.

The logical way to name organisms in an auxlang, then, seems to be to base classifications on scientific taxonomy. Unfortunately, this is not guaranteed to be objective or international. For example, the word "acacia" comes from the ancient Greek name for the flat-topped Egyptian trees that are a distinctive feature of the African savannah, and that is how that word is used in common parlance in many languages (and in Minecraft). However, scientifically speaking, acacias are bushy trees native to Australia (commonly known as "wattles" in English). This is due to the history of the nomenclature surrounding the genuses Acacia and Vachellia, which was quite controversial. It seems not all taxonomists agree on how it turned out. Thus, using the word "acacia" in the sense used by most scientists would seem incorrect to Minecraft players as well as a minority of scientists.

In the face of this chaos, it seems that the only way to be unambiguous about what is meant by the Pandunia word translated as "daisy" is to include lots of examples of what species do and don't fit into that category. Which is how I ended up translating almost a hundred organism names. I won't list all of them here, since many of them are probably too obscure to belong in a dictionary, and I probably won't write them all down in this one post, but I will try to include a lot of examples for clarity's sake. I generally aimed to have a unique root or compound word for every genus, and clarify species and cultivars with adjectives, but th

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

The doctor says it terminal.

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

Calcium, nickel, neon

My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

The bartender says, "Sorry, no minors”

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

Or would that be too forward thinking?