Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.

Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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If there's nothing coming out of a Scentsy then its either out of order or out of odor.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zach2072
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2019
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Did you know the lignin content of old paper is what gives books their old book odor?

It all makes scents now!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2019
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What’s the difference between humor and odor?

Humor is a shift of Witt!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jim-Barb
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2019
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What did the judge say when a skunk walked into the courtroom

Odor in the court!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tpatt83
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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What do you get when you cross a policeman with a skunk ?

Law and odor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
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I met this wine-waiter with the most terrible body odor, like a dead skunk.

Only he was sommelier.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2017
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I just won local "Worst Body Odor" Contest

No one else came close.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/metalrawk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2014
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What's the difference between a pun and an odor?

A pun is a shift of wit, an odor is a whiff of shit.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2016
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I'm not feeling very strong today.

Because it's a weekday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfb1337
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2015
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There was a group of ants that always went on sorties together, but one smelled way worse than the others.

He was de odor ant.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beyond_hate
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
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What is the worst-smelling insect in the world?

De-odor-ant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Resident_Skroob
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2018
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Why does a skunk bother organizing his pantry?

He likes keeping everything in odor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rinteln
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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If a polite but unclean man was heavily into wordplay...

...would he have a pun-gent odor?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotted_Lady
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2018
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I was golfing with my good buddies...

It was a foursome... Al, Jerry and Gerry. To ease confusion, we just call the (G)Jerry’s by the first letter of their name... so Jay and Gee.

Anyways, we were playing the other day and I could tell that someone was wearing cologne. Why on a golf course? I don’t know.

Now I’m kinda sensitive to odors and aromas and, sure enough, after a few holes, my eyes start to water and I start to sneeze.

I turn to Jay and say β€œI think I’m allergic to someone’s cologne”

Jay responds, β€œHmmm, I’m not wearing cologne, it must be Al or Gee’s”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saulfineman
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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Learn Chinese in 5 min

LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES (You MUST read them out loud or it doesnt make as much sense)...

  1. Thats not right........ Sum Ting Wong
  2. Are you harboring a fugitive................... Hu Yu Hai Ding
  3. See me ASAP............. Kum Hia Nao
  4. Stupid Man...................... Dum Fuk
  5. Small horse... Tai Ni Po Ni
  6. Did you go to the beach?... Wai Yu So Tan
  7. I bumped in to a coffee table... Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
  8. I think you need a face lift... Chin Tu Fat
  9. It's very dark in here... Wao So Dim
  10. I thought you were on a diet... Wai Yu Mun Ching
  11. This is a tow away zone... No Pah King
  12. staying out of sight... Lei Ying Lo
  13. He's cleaning his automobile... Wa Shing Ka
  14. Your body odor is offensive... Yu Stin Ki Pu
  15. Great... Fa Kin Su Pah
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πŸ‘€︎ u/edg0023
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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Puns for Kids

The funniest and shortest puns for kids, you always remember while teaching children puns, try to choose the short ones because they are easy for them to remember and register.

Puns for Kids

Why are teddy bears never hungry? They are always stuffed!


What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A pie-thon!


Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.


What did the judge say when the skunk walked into the court room? Odor in the court!


Two silkworms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


Why are fish so smart? Because they live in schools.


The streets in the capital of Afghanistan are paved with Kabulstones.


How does a lion greet the other animals in the field? Pleased to eat you.


What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn? An egg roll!


No matter how much you push the envelope, it will still be stationery.


Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!


What musical is about a train conductor? β€œMy Fare, Lady”.


A man drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him in.


What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.


What animals are on legal documents? Seals!


Why did the lion spit out the clown? Because he tasted funny!


Why did the bumble bee leave the house? It heard the school was having a spelling bee.


Being struck by lightning is really a shocking experience!


How do celebrities stay cool? They have many fans!


Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!


Dockyard: A physician’s garden.


What did the angry mother say to the boiling pot of spaghetti? Simmer down!


The lights were too bright at the Chinese restaurant so the manager decided to dim sum.


β€œWhat’s purple and 5000 miles long?” β€œOoh! I know! The Grape Wall of China!”


Every calendar’s days are numbered.


This duck walks into a bar and orders a beer. β€œFour bucks,” says the bartender. β€œPut it on my bill.”


I used to be twins. My mother has a picture of me when I was two.


What sound do porcupines make when they kiss? Ouch!


When does a well-dressed lion look like a weed? When he’s a dandelion (dandy lion).


Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a-salted.


A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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I ran out of deodorant.

I guess I'll go online and odor some more.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FilmmakerAndGamer
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2016
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I literally told my dad about this subreddit, to which he claimed, "I never make jokes like that".

Today I was home, helping my sister out with her application while she was at school. I come to the strengths and weaknesses part. He looks at me with a straight face and says, "Michael, do not put odor under strengths". cracks big smile nostrils flare..... oh, dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshPecksLegs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2015
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I dadjoked my sister's joke. Better than the original punchline!

Sis: What did the judge say when the skunk entered the court room?

Me: Odor in the court.

Sis: No, but that's good!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IndieCurtis
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2014
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What smells worse than a stink bug?

the odor ant

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aceoftrachs
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2015
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Listening to the Orioles radio broadcast:

The broadcaster, Joe Angel, said in reference to the Tampa Rays starting pitcher Jake Odorizzi:

"When he retires, he should start a business selling deodorant and call it Odor-Eazy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/esvadude
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2014
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After the judge farted in the courtroom

He noticed an odor in the court

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πŸ‘€︎ u/backup41
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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What do you get when you cross a police dog and a skunk?

Law and Odor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/musntbeconsumed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2018
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Why did the skunk cross the road?

To get to the odor side.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoDakZak
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2017
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What did the judge say when the skunk walked into his court?

"Odor in the court!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/machinehead115
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
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What do you get when you cross a police officer and a skunk?

Law and Odor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Platinum_Mattress
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2013
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