What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
I finally got over my addiction to chocolate, marshmallows and nuts.
I won't lie, it was a rocky road.
What did the angry nut say to the other nut?
Cashew outside how bout dat?
What's brown and full of nuts?
Peanut butter you sickos!
What’s the most disgusting type of nut?
Nuts
https://preview.redd.it/2rliikd0new61.jpg?width=264&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b2d6ffa9c1b1ee8999ee4a636b155b3ca25fa5b1
What sticks to everything, is full of nuts and leaves brown stains on your shorts?
Which mountains have the best nuts?
I'm going to start a brew pub that also offers raisins, nuts and oats.
I'll call it the Granola Bar.
Don't know if this was posted here before
What do you call a nut using the restroom?
I always called it the “fast nut” but okay
Next time I'm on a roller coaster, I'm bringing some nuts and bolts with me.
When nearly on the top, scream with a panic voice at the guy infront, "LOOK BRO, THESE FELL OUT OF YOUR SEAT."
Banana nut bread is the craziest food.
If it ain't bananas, it's nuts.
What's the difference between Beer Nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $1.50 but deer nuts are under a buck
When going on a roller coaster, bring some screws and nuts with you.
When it's half way up, scream at the people in the front seats, "SHIT DUDE, THESE JUST CAME OFF FROM YOUR SEATS. "
Those parents must be nuts
Fun fact of the day:
Nothing begins with the letter N and ends with a G.
What did the nut say when his allergies started?
I went to a deli and said, I'd like to buy a bagel with cream cheese
The kid behind the counter said, sorry we only take cash or credit cards
What kind of tree nut is best to take out on the boat for an all day fishing trip?
A Pecan
but only if you pronounce it "pee can"
My left nut thinks it's much better than my right nut...
He can be very egotesticle.
What are the holiest nuts?
Now that Donald Trump is no longer President, the United States is experiencing post-nut clarity.
Yesterday, I went to my psychiatrist office wearing saran wrap pants. And my psychiatrist said...
"Clearly; I can see you're nuts."
Why did the peanut go to the police?
What's a Pokémon's favourite type of nut?
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the middle of the ocean?
Where did the nut keep his money?
I was eating mixed nuts with my girlfriend
... when one accidentally fell out of my mouth and into the nut bowl. My girlfriend then asked: "So if I find a wet nut in there, I'm just supposed to act ca-shew?"
Yeah, I'm definitely putting a ring on her.
I joined to pieces of metal today without nuts and bolts or welding
The whole process was riveting
Did you know Pecans are one of the most positive type of nuts out there...
Else, they’d be called Pecants
What do you call an almond in a space suit?
Wife says I won’t get 5 upvotes for this, but... Did you hear the one about the dog and the tree?
They had a long conversation about bark.
Edit: Y'all are nuts! We're somewhere north of 10k upvotes now, so I'll direct any remaining attention to Boot Camp for New Dads.
A mummy covered in chocolate and nuts has been discovered in Egypt.
Archaeologists believe it may be Pharaoh Roche...
I'll see myself out
What is the angriest nut?
My 6 year old gave occupations to the Planters Mixed Nuts.
Cashews are bankers.
Peanuts are urologists.
And Chestnuts are plastic surgeons.
To all the members of this subreddit, an open letter:
I held the nuts in a poker game once,
It meant a great deal to me.
What did one nut say while chasing the other nut?
I call my wife Doe and she calls me Buck. My friend thought this was weird, so I had to explain...
They're terms of endeerment.
What’s the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
One is $1.29 and the other is under a buck
What did the nut say when it was chasing the other nut?
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