From my 5 year old to her mother the other morning: My wife told my little girl that owls are nocturnal.

With a (well duh) face my daughter looked at my wife and said, " I know that mommy! Owls are not turtles! They're birds!"

My little girl got me to spit coffee with her snap back to my wife!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lodiman77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2022
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For several years I studied machines that remove heat from a certain nocturnal mammal.

It was a bat chillers degree.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2021
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My friend said he saw a nocturnal mammal defecate in a French River

I told him thats bat shit in Seine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chilidog0572
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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I dreamed I befriended this amazing nocturnal horse.

What a night mare.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ra3ndy
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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I was reading a history book, and apparently in the middle east there were hundreds of years where nocturnal predator birds used to fly around and ejaculate all over the place. The Arabic people would keep each other up to date on the latest attacks; and so marked the beginning of...

The Owl Jizz Era News.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nutsacktetherball
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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Why, after a rib dinner, did everyone want wet, juvenile nocturnal raptors?

And why do they think I’d have a supply of moist owlets, anyways?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pj566
πŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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What is a nocturnal bird's favorite holiday?

Owloween

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coolrulez555
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
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What do nocturnal people do while they sleep?

Day-dream.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/prestoobies
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
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Last night I had a dream about a nocturnal horse.

It was a nightmare.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HonoraryMancunian
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2017
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During the eclipse a lot of nocturnal insects started chirping and were pretty active.

I bet their Cicadian Rhythm is totally out of whack.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Je_Desto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
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Reverse your diurnal/nocturnal time frames.

Have a night's day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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Nocturnal emissions should be called snoregasms.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Danonymous84
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2015
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I actually made my wife laugh with this one

Wife: You were crying in your sleep last night.

Me: Really? That's crazy. (NOTE: It's actually crazy, this is not a common occurrence for me)

Wife: Yeah, like sobbing or crying or something.

Me: You might say I had a... nocturnal emotion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THEJAZZMUSIC
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
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What do you call a nocturnal horse?

A night mare.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/callmefinny
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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What do you call a nocturnal horse?

A night mare.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_hardeeharhar_
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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