From my 5 year old to her mother the other morning: My wife told my little girl that owls are nocturnal.

With a (well duh) face my daughter looked at my wife and said, " I know that mommy! Owls are not turtles! They're birds!"

My little girl got me to spit coffee with her snap back to my wife!

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/lodiman77
šŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2022
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For several years I studied machines that remove heat from a certain nocturnal mammal.

It was a bat chillers degree.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/incredibleinkpen
šŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2021
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My friend said he saw a nocturnal mammal defecate in a French River

I told him thats bat shit in Seine

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Chilidog0572
šŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
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I dreamed I befriended this amazing nocturnal horse.

What a night mare.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/ra3ndy
šŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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Last night I forgot to do something important

>! I hate nocturnal omissions. !<

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/_Shoeless_
šŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2022
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I was reading a history book, and apparently in the middle east there were hundreds of years where nocturnal predator birds used to fly around and ejaculate all over the place. The Arabic people would keep each other up to date on the latest attacks; and so marked the beginning of...

The Owl Jizz Era News.

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šŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2020
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Why, after a rib dinner, did everyone want wet, juvenile nocturnal raptors?

And why do they think Iā€™d have a supply of moist owlets, anyways?

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/pj566
šŸ“…︎ May 10 2020
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What is a nocturnal bird's favorite holiday?

Owloween

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/coolrulez555
šŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2018
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Last night I had a dream about a nocturnal horse.

It was a nightmare.

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šŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2017
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During the eclipse a lot of nocturnal insects started chirping and were pretty active.

I bet their Cicadian Rhythm is totally out of whack.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Je_Desto
šŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2017
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Reverse your diurnal/nocturnal time frames.

Have a night's day.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Rocknocker
šŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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Nocturnal emissions should be called snoregasms.
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Danonymous84
šŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2015
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I actually made my wife laugh with this one

Wife: You were crying in your sleep last night.

Me: Really? That's crazy. (NOTE: It's actually crazy, this is not a common occurrence for me)

Wife: Yeah, like sobbing or crying or something.

Me: You might say I had a... nocturnal emotion.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/THEJAZZMUSIC
šŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2013
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What do you call a nocturnal horse?

A night mare.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/callmefinny
šŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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What do you call a nocturnal horse?

A night mare.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/_hardeeharhar_
šŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2020
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