Some gems from my old man...

Any time we'd go to drive somewhere... "And we're off like a herd of turtles!"

"What would you like to eat?" "Food." "What kind of food?" "Edible food."

"If you're American outside the bathroom, what are you inside the bathroom? European!"

"I'm thirsty!" "Hello Thursday, My name's Friday. Would you like to go out on Saturday and have a Sunday?"

And then, of course, he convinced me (or maybe I made it up in my little head?) that if I drank enough carrot juice I would be able to see in the dark, haha.

Wish I could remember more... He passed away when I was 8 or so. I'll happily share more if I remember them sometime. Heh, when he told my sister and I that he had cancer he insisted he had probably just swallowed a big crouton. :')

👍︎ 148
💬︎
👤︎ u/xingped
📅︎ Sep 04 2013
🚨︎ report
My Dad pulled this one last night.

So we were all walking out of a restaurant last night and this was the exchange between my dad and a complete stranger wearing a Foo Fighters shirt which i didn't realize till after the exchange. Dad "How are the fighters?" Stranger " Huh?" Dad "Well they have been fighting the Foo for years, was just curious if they are making any progress."
I laughed but the guy was blanked faced. It's because i am a dad now and have a taste for it.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/JimKatsin
📅︎ Jul 18 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.