Apparently, Neil deGrasse Tyson has a brother, who has a very successful grass-cutting business.
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︎ Aug 12 2020
Haha Neil before me
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︎ Jun 19 2020
Rick Harris hooked up with this girl using his brother Neil's pick-up line...
The questions is, will Neil Patrick Harris on the back?
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︎ Aug 20 2020
I hear that Neil Armstrong was very comfortable when he landed on the Moon.
And from the pictures I saw, his suit does seem like it has a lot of space inside
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︎ Jun 20 2020
Neil Before me
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︎ Feb 24 2020
As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."
"Until the pressure got to him."
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︎ Apr 26 2020
Neil Degrass Tyson
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︎ Apr 16 2020
Neil before me
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︎ Feb 07 2020
What do you get when you mix COVID-19 and Neil Diamond?
Sweeeet quarantiiiiine...
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︎ Mar 28 2020
What is Shaquille O'Neil's favourite Middle Eastern dish?
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︎ May 03 2020
Video title: Neil deGrasse Tyson defends Elon Musk smoking Weed
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︎ Jan 08 2020
I've heard that Neil Armstrong used to tell really boring jokes about the moon that nobody understood.
I guess you had to be there.
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︎ Feb 07 2020
This guy comes up to me at the karaoke bar and asks, "Are you the guy who spends all night singing Neil Diamond songs?"
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︎ Feb 07 2020
Why did Neil Armstrong pee right after he made his first step on the moon?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
(My dad dropped this one out of nowhere over coffee this morning.)
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︎ May 23 2019
If Neil Young was a leprechaun what would be the name of his #1 single?
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︎ Oct 02 2019
The record store owner needed to get the albums by a Canadian band with Neil Pert on drums out on sale before Halloween...
So he put in a Rush order!
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︎ Oct 28 2019
I met Buzz Aldrin once and asked how he felt being the second man on the moon. "Well..." he said. "It could have been anyone. Right up until we landed, we hadn't decided who would be first out the door. Then, once we touched down, Neil suggested we flip for it."
"And he won?" I asked.
"Well, no..." he mumbled. "The coin was still in the air when Neil jumped down the ladder, the big jerk!"
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︎ Jun 19 2018
Neil DeGrasse Tyson's dad joke
If the Chicago Bears moved to Detroit, then Detroit would have the Lions, the Tigers, and the Bears. Oh MI!
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︎ May 21 2019
LTR:FTP Why did Neil Armstrong's son get sent home from school...
Because he was being astronaughty
My daughter new from the opener this was one of my made up cringmiesters.
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︎ Feb 17 2019
If Shaquille O'Neil was arrested what would the officers put on him?
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︎ Aug 28 2016
Neil Diamond has just bought his new car, a Saab, on eBay. I guess you could say he got a Swede car online
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︎ Nov 18 2018
Wife of Neil Degrasse Tyson: I love you, Honey.
Neil Degrasse Tyson: Your presence makes my dopamine and oxytocin levels higher too.
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︎ Nov 16 2018
Neil Kabuto
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︎ Jul 22 2016
Today is Neil Young's 70th birthday
This literally just happened.
Context: I'm 30yrs old. Got my own place. My dad and his business partner are staying with me for a meeting they have in the morning. Dad's friend is browsing the news on his laptop. He casually says Neil Young's birthday is today. He's 70 years old.
My dad goes "I guess he's Neil Old now"
Is it a sign of getting old when I find his dad jokes hilarious?
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︎ Nov 13 2015
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︎ Dec 11 2015
Neil Young
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︎ Aug 06 2014
My dad's go-to joke: "Why didn't Neil Armstrong's wife go with him to the moon?"
The joke usually starts like this:
"hey..."
"yeah?"
"so uh... you know who neil armstrong is?(was)"
"......yeah?"
"....who was he?"
"uh... wasn't he the first man on the moon?"
"yep. Did you know he didn't take his wife with him when he went to the moon?"
"Um... I guess?"
"Do you know why?"
"....no...?"
"Because he ASKED HER NOT!!"
(astronaut) :|
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︎ Jul 15 2013
Neil deGrasse Tyson just tweeted a Dad joke!
https://twitter.com/neiltyson/statuses/429325051679084544
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︎ Jan 31 2014
Neil deGrasse Tyson gets out-dadjoked by his daughter.
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︎ Feb 27 2014
Sonjoke: My dad's name is Neil. Whenever there's a call for him....
"Hello?"
"Neil?"
"Make me!"
(silence...confusion...explanation of the joke...)
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︎ Feb 26 2014
As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."
"Until the pressure got to him."
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︎ Nov 05 2019
As we were driving down the road, "Sweet Caroline" came on the radio. I said to my son, "Little known fact, Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal."
"Until the pressure got to him."
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︎ Feb 28 2019
When I went to Karaoke Night, I was asked, "You the guy who only sings Neil Diamond songs?"
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︎ Jun 17 2019
Neil Diamond used to be called Neil Coal...
...until the pressure got to him...
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︎ Nov 29 2018
Neil Diamond has just bought his new car, a Saab, on eBay. I guess you could say he got a Swede car online
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︎ Aug 25 2018
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