I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB
Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"
I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual
So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes
r/unclejokes for dirty jokes
r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC
r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes
Punchline !
Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub
Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat
WARNING: This game covers all 5 seasons of the show, so don't participate if you're not caught up with the TV show.
I apologize for this post being so late. It was a rough night last night, helping my new puppy adjust. But I'm back now, and here's round 10
For those just joining the fun, I made a series of questions (all based on the show). Essentially it's an elimination game to see who/what is our favorite characters or episodes or songs.
Just follow the link and vote for your least favorites, around midnight EST (Eastern standard time), I'll close the voting and, soon after, post the Round 10 results! Hope you guys enjoy it!
EDIT: I will not close down tomorrow's vote until 12PM EST since I was so late posting today.
Magicians Show Voting, Round X
Round IX Aftermath
Main Characters (finished)
1st - Eliot, WINNER!
2nd - Margo with 53.3% of votes
3rd - Quentin with 64% of votes
4th - Julia with 58.1% of votes
5th - Josh with 38.7% of votes
6th - Penny with 39.3% of votes
7th - Fen with 33.3% of votes
8th - Dean Fogg with 36% of votes
9th - Kady with 39.2% of votes
10th - Alice with 21.2% of votes
Most Developed Characters
3rd - Julia with 47.8% of votes
4th - Margo with 41.7% of votes
5th - Alice with 44.2% of votes
6th - Penny with 35.4% of votes
7th - Fen with 61.5% of votes
8th - Dean Fogg with 41.7% of votes
9th - Kady with 32% of votes
10th - Josh with 20.5% of votes
Side/Recurring Characters
25th - Fray with 12.2% of votes
26th - Prince Ess with 33.3% of votes
27th - Plum Chatwin with 18.6% of votes
28th - Irene McAllistair with 15.6% of votes
29th - James (Julia's Ex) with 25% of votes
30th - Christopher Plover with 20.8% of votes
31st - Reynard with 16% of votes
32nd - Poppy Kline with 13.5% of votes
33rd - Rupert Chatwin / The Dark King with 12.9% of votes
Animal / Creature Characters
17th - Margolem with 17% of votes
18th - Joseph (Niffin) with 33.3% of votes
19th - Kraken with 16.7% of votes
20th - Napster with 15.1% of votes
21st - Lamprey with 17.9% of votes
22nd - Lord Fresh with 21.7% of votes
23rd - Baba Yaga with 20% of votes
24th - Sir Effingham with 19.7% of votes
Magical Item
16th - Quarterback Device with 12.8% of votes
17th - Permanence Perfume with 21.7% of votes
18th - Bag of Holding with 15% of votes
19th - Webster's Weeping Healer with 15.1% of votes
20th - Gravity Belt with 17.9% of votes
21st - Niffin Box with 2
... keep reading on reddit β‘Do your worst!
How the hell am I suppose to know when itβs raining in Sweden?
Ants donβt even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.
But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.
They were cooked in Greece.
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.
Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?
Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"
Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies π
It really does, I swear!
And now Iβm cannelloni
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
But thatβs comparing apples to oranges
And boy are my arms legs.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
BamBOO!
Theyβre on standbi
A play on words.
Calcium, nickel, neon
Put it on my bill
My daughter, Chewbecca, not so much.
Mathematical puns makes me number
Pilot on me!!
Christopher Walken
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
At work, I have a workstation.
edit: cheers u/cheer_up_richard
Iβm stumped.
WARNING: This game covers all 5 seasons of the show, so don't participate if you're not caught up with the TV show.
For those just joining the fun, I made a series of questions (all based on the show). Essentially it's an elimination game to see who/what is our favorite characters or episodes or songs.
Also, I adjusted the side characters because someone pointed out that I forgot the Binder (who I actually enjoy a lot). I've also added a God category.
Just follow the link and vote for your least favorites, around 2PM EST (Eastern standard time), I'll close the voting and, soon after, post the Round 12 results! Hope you guys enjoy it!
Magicians Show Voting, Round XII
Round XI Aftermath
Main Characters (finished)
1st - Eliot, WINNER!
2nd - Margo with 48 / 90 votes
3rd - Quentin with 16 / 25 votes
4th - Julia with 25 / 43 votes
5th - Josh with 31 / 80 votes
6th - Penny with 11 / 28 votes
7th - Fen with 8 / 24 votes
8th - Dean Fogg with 9 / 25 votes
9th - Kady with 29 / 74 votes
10th - Alice with 28 / 132 votes
Most Developed Characters (finished)
1st - Eliot, WINNER!
2nd - Quentin with 33 / 52 votes
3rd - Julia with 44 / 92 votes
4th - Margo with 10 / 24 votes
5th - Alice with 19 / 43 votes
6th - Penny with 28 / 79 votes
7th - Fen with 16 / 26 votes
8th - Dean Fogg with 10 / 24 votes
9th - Kady with 8 / 25 votes
10th - Josh with 15 / 73 votes
Side/Recurring Characters
24th - Persephone with 5 / 36 votes
25th - Stone Queen with 8 / 52 votes
26th - Fray with 11 / 90 votes
27th - Prince Ess with 8 / 24 votes
28th - Plum Chatwin with 8 / 43 votes
29th - Irene McAllistair with 12 / 77 votes
30th - James (Julia's Ex) with 7 / 28 votes
31st - Christopher Plover with 5 / 24 votes
32nd - Reynard with 4 / 25 votes
33rd - Poppy Kline with 10 / 74 votes
34th - Rupert Chatwin / The Dark King with 17 / 132 votes
Animal / Creature Characters
15th - Berry the Leprechaun with 8 / 35 votes
16th - Niffin Alice with 10 / 52 votes
17th - Margolem with 15 / 88 votes
18th - Joseph (Niffin) with 8 / 24 votes
19th - Kraken with 7 / 42 votes
20th - Napster with 11 / 73 votes
21st - Lamprey with 5 / 28 votes
22nd - Lord Fresh with 5 / 23 votes
23rd - Baba Yaga with 5 / 25 votes
24th - Sir Effingham with 14 / 71 votes
Couples
7th - James and Julia with 17 / 38 votes
8th - Penny and Alice with 16 / 53 votes
Magical Item
14th - Virgo Blade with 8 / 35 votes
15th -
... keep reading on reddit β‘WARNING: This game covers all 5 seasons of the show, so don't participate if you're not caught up with the TV show.
For those just joining the fun, I made a series of questions (all based on the show). Essentially it's an elimination game to see who/what is our favorite characters or episodes or songs.
Just follow the link and vote for your least favorites, around 3PM EST (Eastern standard time), I'll close the voting and, soon after, post the Round 11 results! Hope you guys enjoy it!
Magicians Show Voting, Round XI
Round X Aftermath
Main Characters (finished)
1st - Eliot, WINNER!
2nd - Margo with 48 / 90 votes
3rd - Quentin with 16 / 25 votes
4th - Julia with 25 / 43 votes
5th - Josh with 31 / 80 votes
6th - Penny with 11 / 28 votes
7th - Fen with 8 / 24 votes
8th - Dean Fogg with 9 / 25 votes
9th - Kady with 29 / 74 votes
10th - Alice with 28 / 132 votes
Most Developed Characters (finished)
1st - Eliot, WINNER!
2nd - Quentin with 33 / 52 votes
3rd - Julia with 44 / 92 votes
4th - Margo with 10 / 24 votes
5th - Alice with 19 / 43 votes
6th - Penny with 28 / 79 votes
7th - Fen with 16 / 26 votes
8th - Dean Fogg with 10 / 24 votes
9th - Kady with 8 / 25 votes
10th - Josh with 15 / 73 votes
Side/Recurring Characters
24th - Stone Queen with 8 / 52 votes
25th - Fray with 11 / 90 votes
26th - Prince Ess with 8 / 24 votes
27th - Plum Chatwin with 8 / 43 votes
28th - Irene McAllistair with 12 / 77 votes
29th - James (Julia's Ex) with 7 / 28 votes
30th - Christopher Plover with 5 / 24 votes
31st - Reynard with 4 / 25 votes
32nd - Poppy Kline with 10 / 74 votes
33rd - Rupert Chatwin / The Dark King with 17 / 132 votes
Animal / Creature Characters
16th - Niffin Alice with 10 / 52 votes
17th - Margolem with 15 / 88 votes
18th - Joseph (Niffin) with 8 / 24 votes
19th - Kraken with 7 / 42 votes
20th - Napster with 11 / 73 votes
21st - Lamprey with 5 / 28 votes
22nd - Lord Fresh with 5 / 23 votes
23rd - Baba Yaga with 5 / 25 votes
24th - Sir Effingham with 14 / 71 votes
Couples
8th - Penny and Alice with 16 / 53 votes
Magical Item
15th - World Book with 10 / 50 votes
16th - Quarterback Device with 11 / 86 votes
17th - Permanence Perfume with 5 / 23 votes
18th - Bag of Holding with 6 / 40 votes
19th - Webster's Weeping Healer with 11 / 73 votes
20th - Gravity Belt with 5 / 28 votes
21st - Niffin Box with 5 / 24 votes
22nd - The Stone Organs wi
... keep reading on reddit β‘