It seemed to be the first case of a NikNak Paddywhack
They were a bunch of wise guise.
Because they're goodfellers.
They want to be filthy rich.
He's a knife guy
One letter. Duh.
Foget’boutit!
(Showing me the paper today):
Did you hear about the mobsters arrested for peddling Viagra and Cialis?
It sounds like they were hardened criminals.
Rigatoni
A mobster.
They called him the Loch Ness Mobster.
A mobster lobster!
Loch Ness Mobster
He was found dead with a brass handle in his hand.
They’re calling it the Mystery of the Knock-Less Mobster.
Red Mobster
What you need to know: We have a grocery store called Dominick's.
Artie and Dominick grew up in the same neighborhood and were best friends. But after highschool, they parted ways.
20 years later, they bump into each other on the street and the friends have a happy reunion. They talk about their lives after they left their old neighborhood. Dominick is a very wealthy lawyer and Artie is a mobster. Artie turns to Dominick and says "If you need anything at all, I'll get it for ya. Just ask."
Dominick :Well there is one thing... Artie: Anything. Dominick: Well I can't stand my wife. Could you get rid of her? Artie: Of course! Dominick: Wait! You're my friend, I gotta pay you for this. Artie: I can't take your money. Dominick: I have to give you something! Artie: Fine, give me a dollar.
So Dominick hands him a dollar and tells Artie when he'll be at work. The next day, Artie slips into the house and strangles the wife but as soon as her body hits the ground, the maid walks in. So Artie strangles her too, but as soon as her body hits the ground, the butler walks in. Artie strangles the butler and then the police burst in.
The next day in the papers, the head line reads: "Artie Chokes Three for a Dollar at Dominick's"
The end. My dad was saying the other day he won't be able to tell that joke anymore because Dominick's (the store) is closing where we live.
Dad: "Hey son did you hear about the mobster who passed out in the kitchen."
Son: "Uh...no."
Dad: "Yeah I guess he's sleeping with the dishes."
Watching some intense mobster movie with my dad: Two guys come in with shotguns and unload about 10 shots into the don while he's eating really fancy food and drinking wine. Dad looks over. "They'll never get the wine out of that shirt."
