With the Swine flu you need oink-ment and the Bird flu you need tweet-ment :)
It's a great in-vest-ment.
An anole-ment.
Ex-berry-ments
Oink-ment (farmer dad joke)
She-ment
You have to give an astronomical amount of comet-ment
Itβs like shooting fish in apparel.
Okay, Biden.
A"mews"ment parks
An a-mews-ment park
He didnβt have an appoink-ment!
Person 1: I will marry you when pigs fly.
Me: Swine Flu...
(end up getting married to my bae...con)
Not a true story. Something from the pig-ment of my imagination.
Sailsman?
Oink-ment
When he arrived, he saw a lot of decorations related to frogs and asked me why.
I said: "It's because I'm trying to pull a prank on my flatmate. I'm trying to see how long it takes him to realise that our apartment is filled with frogs."
My friend said: "It's a nice prank ngl. Has he been close to finding out you live with apartment full of frog decorations?"
I said: "Not yet but I'm really starting to panic."
He asked me why and I said: "Because this type of prank is not easy. It requires a lot of Kermit-ment"
But that's just my ass-ess-ment.
What comes before a shotgun marriage?
En-gauge-ment
The cow told me to live in the moo-ment.
Oink-ment
- Allow => A-meow
- Apology => A-paw-logy
- Appalling => A-paw-ling
- Attitude => Cat-titude
- Awesome => Paw-some / Claw-some
- Awful => Claw-ful / Paw-ful
- Because => Be-claws
- Before => Be-fur
- Bother => Bo-fur
- Catastrophe => Cat-astrophe
- Catastrophic => Cat-astrophic
- Catch => Cat-ch
- Clever => Claw-ver
- Confusing => Con-fur-sing
- Congratulations => Con-cat-ulations
- Different => Dif-fur-rent
- Disappearance => Disa-purr-ance
- Familiar => Fur-miliar
- Feeling => Feline
- For => Fur
- For real => Fur real
- Forever => Fur-ever
- Forget => Fur-get
- Fortunate => Fur-tunate
- Forward => Fur-ward
- Friend => Fur-end
- Furious => Fur-ious
- Further => Fur-ther
- Get or Got => Cat
- Help me out => Help meow-t
- History => Hiss-tory
- Hysterical => Hiss-terical
- Inferior => In-fur-ior
- Kidding me => Kitten me
- Konnichiwa => Konnichi-paw
- Literally => Litter-ally
- Literature => Litter-a-ture
- Lost => Claw-st
- Lying => Lion
- Magnificent => Meow-nificent
- Marvellous => Meow-velous
- Minimum => Mew-nimum
- Misery => Mew-sery
- Moment => Mew-ment
- Mountain => Meow-ntain
- Move => Mew-v
- Music => Mew-sic
- Musician => Meow-sician
- Never => Nev-fur
- New => Mew
- Now => Meow
- Over => Ov-fur
- Paper => Pay-purr
- Pardon me => Paw-don me
- Pause => Paws
- Perfect => Purr-fect
- Perhaps => Purr-haps
- Permission => Purr-mission
- Person => Purr-son
- Personal => Purr-sonal
- Persuasion => Purr-suasion
- Places => Purr-laces
- Please => Paw-lease
- Portable => Paw-table
- Positive => Paw-sitive
- Possibility => Paw-sibility
- Possibly => Paw-sibly
- Precious => Purr-ecious
- Prefer => Paw-fer
- Preposterous => Pre-paw-sterous
- Pretty => Purr-ty
- Priceless => Purr-iceless
- Prince => Purr-ince
- Princess => Purr-incess
- Puns => Purr-ns
- Purpose => Purr-pose
- Referring => Re-fur-ing
- Respond => Res-paw-nd
- Simple => Sim-paw-le
- Suffer => Suf-fur
- Superior => Su-purr-ior
- Tale => Tail
- Talent => Tail-ent
- Tell => Tail
- Thatβs all => Catβs all
- Unfortunate => Un-fur-tunate
- Very => Furry
- Whenever => Whene-fur
- Wonderful => Won-fur-ful
- You => Mew
- Apologize => A-paw-logize
- First => Furr-st
- How are you? => Meow are mew?
- Morning => Meowrning
- Phon
He SED-A-MENT
They must be a fig-ment of my imagination.
To the treat-ment center.
My girlfriend and I were in the vet's office when she mentioned seeing a cat in the middle of the road that had been struck by a car earlier that day. We had both seen it and she said that there needed to be a moment of silence for the fallen kitty.
I said, "more like a meowment of silence..."
She called me an idiot as I laughed for a good minute or so.
I attended a Decemberists concert this evening. Before the encore, the drummer, John, insisted that he tell us a joke.
"Did you hear about the pig who had a cut on his leg? Yeah, his friend came by and asked, 'Would you like me to get you some OINK-ment?'"
The only sound that followed was that of myself clapping.
My little sister and I are trying to explain to my dad what ratchet ment, out of no where he says "I don't appreciate your guys language" everyone was confused and said what? He responds with "you guys are keep saying rat shit" we all groaned loudly
They go to the a(mews)ment park
