Man's Best Friend Puns

The man stands up and speaks "Plethora." and steps back down.

"Thank you..." says the Widow, "that really means a lot."

EDIT The responses here are incredible! 👌

Inside of a dog, it's much too dark to read.

They stay by your side when things get Ruff-Ruff.

They knew he’d give a French toast, and they said it wasn’t worth the pain.

I was speechless.

It was one hell of a barbecue.

"Shame you don't have any friends" she said

"Well this has been a really emotional day, gosh...even the wedding cake is in tiers." Got lots of heavy sighing, laughs and tons of boos....I was very happy with the reception

• thanks for the upvotes! Never thought I'd see the front page, it's been a pun-ishing wait to get there

I know he means well.

The hot dog.

Arty, a professional hit man, will only let his friend pay him a dollar for the job. Professional courtesy. Arty strangles the wife, but both the maid and butler hear the commotion and come barging into the room. Arty has to take care of them as well, but by the time he's done, the cops have arrived and he is arrested.

The news reports the next morning:

"Arty Chokes 3 for a Dollar."

(credit: Groucho Marx)

Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.

Inside a dog it’s too dark to read.

I was speechless.

I was speechless.

I was speechless.

From Groucho. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it is too dark to read.

I was speechless!

Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.

Inside a dog, it's too dark.