What do you call a malfunctioning grain elevator?

An agri-vator

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Jan 09 2021
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I told my friend a joke about a malfunctioning plane once...

...it never took off.

👍︎ 132
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📅︎ Aug 23 2018
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Did you hear about the sprinkler system malfunction at the library?

There wasn’t a dry “i” in the house

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👤︎ u/ZaraMave
📅︎ Nov 24 2019
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What did the magician say when she had a wardrobe malfunction?

Abracabadbra.

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Apr 14 2019
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What is the russian word for internet malfunction?

InterNiet

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👤︎ u/akrut
📅︎ Mar 28 2018
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A man gets on an escalator and starts going up, but the motor malfunctions, causing him to speed out of control and fall flat on his face.

All I can say is... that escalated quickly.

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Sep 01 2017
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Heard there was a malfunction at the speedway

but the crew is on track to fix it.

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Aug 21 2018
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I was at a burlesque show and one of the performers had a wardrobe malfunction..

I leaned over to my wife and whispered "of corset didn't work"

she rolled her eyes so hard her retinas detached and she missed the rest of the performance.

👍︎ 119
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📅︎ Mar 30 2016
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Each year 100 million birds die in the US by crashing into Windows...

I guess you could call them Blue Screens of Death.

👍︎ 37
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👤︎ u/EarthC-137
📅︎ Apr 13 2020
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Why did Ghislaine Maxwell cross the road?

Because all the cameras were malfunctioning, and the guards were not doing their checks, and even though she said she didn’t want to cross the road, we think she did it anyways.

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👤︎ u/jvanzandd
📅︎ Jul 03 2020
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How tall are you?

I'm relatively tall and growing up, my dad would occasionally ask me, "How tall are you now?" I, forgetting the repeated joke, would reply, "I'm 6'2" now." Every single time he would reply, "I didn't know they stacked shit that high," and laugh his ass off.

👍︎ 75
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👤︎ u/mattpedigo
📅︎ Sep 13 2013
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When pancakes go wrong.

My gf unit was malfunctioning trying to make pancakes and added to much water. So I decided to fix them. Unfortunately they came out....crepe.

👍︎ 6
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👤︎ u/Dracon1022
📅︎ Oct 29 2015
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The parking lot at the shopping center was broken.

I guess there were malfunctioning mall functions.

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Jan 30 2019
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Full Beaver

We're on a road trip and my mom, a biologist, says that the moon tonight is a "Full Beaver" which used to mean that it was the last night to set beaver traps before the swamp freezes over.

My dad replies: "Wow, the last time I saw a full beaver was when that girl at the concert had a wardrobe malfunction."

👍︎ 17
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📅︎ Nov 26 2015
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I consider myself a decent purveyor of dad jokes, but my dad showed me there is still much to learn from him

I was drinking in an Irish pub on St. Patrick's Day a few years ago when the building suffered a malfunction. The register cover of the air conditioning vent was not secured to the wall and worked its way loose, hitting me and a friend. I ended up with a cut on my forehead, a spiffy blue bandaid from the kitchen first aid kit, and a comped bar tab.

My dad told me I should have duct.

👍︎ 6
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📅︎ Jul 16 2014
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