Malfunctioned Puns

An agri-vator

...it never took off.

There wasn’t a dry “i” in the house

Abracabadbra.

InterNiet

All I can say is... that escalated quickly.

but the crew is on track to fix it.

I leaned over to my wife and whispered "of corset didn't work"

she rolled her eyes so hard her retinas detached and she missed the rest of the performance.

I guess you could call them Blue Screens of Death.

Because all the cameras were malfunctioning, and the guards were not doing their checks, and even though she said she didn’t want to cross the road, we think she did it anyways.

I'm relatively tall and growing up, my dad would occasionally ask me, "How tall are you now?" I, forgetting the repeated joke, would reply, "I'm 6'2" now." Every single time he would reply, "I didn't know they stacked shit that high," and laugh his ass off.

My gf unit was malfunctioning trying to make pancakes and added to much water. So I decided to fix them. Unfortunately they came out....crepe.

I guess there were malfunctioning mall functions.

We're on a road trip and my mom, a biologist, says that the moon tonight is a "Full Beaver" which used to mean that it was the last night to set beaver traps before the swamp freezes over.

My dad replies: "Wow, the last time I saw a full beaver was when that girl at the concert had a wardrobe malfunction."

I was drinking in an Irish pub on St. Patrick's Day a few years ago when the building suffered a malfunction. The register cover of the air conditioning vent was not secured to the wall and worked its way loose, hitting me and a friend. I ended up with a cut on my forehead, a spiffy blue bandaid from the kitchen first aid kit, and a comped bar tab.

My dad told me I should have duct.