Yet another job lost to machines
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BlazeMrk
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.

He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, with no explanation.

It doesn’t make any cents.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merlin-5
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Accidentally knocked my grandmas ashes into a fog machine....

She will be mist.

πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
🚨︎ report
My personal trainer was upset at me because I kept using the same machine at the gym

It was the vending machine

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2021
🚨︎ report
Dogs can't operate MRI machines,

But cats-can.

πŸ‘︎ 124
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xenonthewizlard
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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True story: I sent my dad a picture of the loaf of bread I made witha bread machine. He instantly responded with :

I knead one of those!!

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LagartoDorado
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
🚨︎ report
I bought a new answering machine.....

What should I ask it?

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife has begun writing songs about her sewing machine

She wants to be a Singer-songwriter, or sew it seams.

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hotcheetopuffs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked the trainer at the gym, which machine I should use to impress the ladies?

He pointed outside and said "The ATM machine. "

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
The pulley is the most egotistical of all the machines.

It’s always the centre of a tension.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
The worst thing about driving a Time Machine....

.....is the kids at the back asking, "Are we then yet?"

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call an Indian using a karaoke machine?

Getupta Singh

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chainsmoker88
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Tennis ball machine for sale. Only $100.

Had it over a year now. Has served me well.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2021
🚨︎ report
I got my chips before I put my money into the vending machine

I guess it's out of order.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/realtonylong
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The Lord of the Rings official pinball machine doesn’t take quarters.

Only Tolkiens

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
I saw a guy walk into a store and buy 5 smoke machines, so I called the cops.

He must be in some extreme mist group.

πŸ‘︎ 133
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
To get to the time machine.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnchartedQuasar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
🚨︎ report
A sketchy looking guy rented six smoke machines from my shop, so I called the cops.

He must be part of some extreme mist group.

πŸ‘︎ 603
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought a coin machine yesterday and I can't figure out how it works

It literally makes no sense

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fartingbeans312
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I can’t believe I wasted all my time trying to help rearrange the vending machines at my local grocery store...

I’ve been moving them around all day but they still say they are β€œOut of Order”

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
The machine
πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sikkgamer1661
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I added water to our bread machine

I don’t know if it worked, but it kneaded it.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rapideos
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Recently, I’ve been building a car made from old washing machine parts

I’m going to take it out a spin tomorrow

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
🚨︎ report
When my great-grandad went bald, he built a machine to weave himself a wig out of yarn. He then gave it to my grandad, who then gave it to my dad - and one day, it will be mine.

It’s our family hair loom.

πŸ‘︎ 74
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidently dropped grandma's ashes into my fog machine.

She will be mist.

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/writenroll
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't stop taking money out of every cash machine I walk past...

Doctor has diagnosed I'm suffering from withdrawal symptoms.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the ice cream machine need money?

It was broke

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dizzie222
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
So, I bought a coin minting machine on eBay for $10...

But the thing only makes pennies. I understand now why it was so cheap. It makes cents

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aakashrajaraman
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
It's too bad about the guy that overreacted after falling into a lens-making machine.

He truly made a spectacle of himself.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dabiker68
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2020
🚨︎ report
When the mystery machine gets a flat tire who has to change it?

Scooby Do

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/1jet007
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I hooked up a spooky mind control device to a windowblind making machine

Just thinking about it makes me shutter

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkstarman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I still don't understand cloning machines

That makes two of us

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the machine gunner keep missing his targets?

He suffered from turret syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/emjay144
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What does a soda machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?

They both say "insert bill here."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayXachos1
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
🚨︎ report
Dogs can’t operate MRI machines.

But catscan.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
🚨︎ report
The machine at the coin factory just suddenly stopped working, without explanation.

It doesn't make any cents!

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cubres
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Every machine in the coin factory broke down all of a sudden without explanation.

It just doesn’t make any cents.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend composes songs about sewing machines

He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/inLikeCyn
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Why does my coin minting machine have to be broken...

It just doesn't make cents

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrayWolf85
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Among all the machines, the pulley is the most egotistical.

It’s always at the centre of a tension.

πŸ‘︎ 926
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My mate composes songs about sewing machines.

He's a Singer songwriter, sew it seams.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend composes songs about sewing machines.

He's a Singer songwriter or sew it seams...

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chown-root
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Every machine in the coin factory stopped working

It just doesn't make any cents!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sharplight141
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
I write songs about sewing machines !

I'm a singer songwriter

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Dogs can’t operate MRI machines.

But catscan.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Odinnextgen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2020
🚨︎ report

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