Julie Andrews’ Daily Schedule: 1. Impersonate Homer Simpson 2. Read about bushcraft 3. Watch ludicrously silly play 4. Replace button on blouse 5. Start making coffee flavoured bread

D’oh, Ray Mears, Farce, Sew, Latte Dough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raoul24601
πŸ“…︎ Aug 23 2020
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Trying to move house with three little kids is ludicrous.

The hardest part is remembering which box they’re in.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marty085
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
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I let my son wear a Liverpool jersey today. So far he’s been kicked, punched and spit at...

...it’ll be interesting to see what happens when he leaves the house.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cormac-Dockry
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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I was arrested this morning for trying to kill a man with sandpaper,

which is ludicrous, I was only trying to rough him up a little.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2018
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Dad Jokes I Tell My Kids

I have a 6 year-old and a 8 year-old.

Whenever my kids ask me, "Dad, can I ask you a question?" I reply, "You just did." And then smile.

Also, whenever my kids say, "Dad, guess what?" I comeback with something completely ludicrous, "Uh, you just saw an polka-dotted elephant in the kitchen and he stole your lunch?"

They do not find it humorous at all. But, I crack myself up.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/papabois
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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