Cheap, stacked and knotty
Solar powered clippers attached to a drone that I can program to do most of my landscaping.
It’s real Cutting Hedge Technology.
Multi-level marketing
Rob Lowe loves raw blow.
(they should put signs on those, or something..)
As we are getting close to walking into the store we walk past three gentlemen standing outside and one of them is holding some lumber. My father in-law looks at them and says "Must be having an important board meeting, carry on gentlemen".
We died laughing.
Step daughter " These rocks smell the candy."
Me "Would you say they smell like rock candy?"
Her facial expression was priceless
insert your dad’s joke here.
"What are you getting there?" I asked.
"An Irish guy," he replied.
"What?"
"Patio furniture!"
"...what?"
"An Irish guy! Patty O' Furniture!"
At Lowe's volunteering my truck to move some lumber that a friend is using to make his girlfriend shelves. He and I are standing with the boards, distracting her kids while she settles up at the counter. Among the continuous babble from her youngest was "I'm thirsty." Simultaneously from three directions around him, my friend and I and a passing Lowe's employee:
"Hi thirsty, I'm Mike!" "Hi thirsty, I'm Dave!" "Hi thirsty, I'm Neil!"
We all shared a moment while mom shot us the most exhausted and disappointed look I've ever seen.
I'm an Mech. Engineering student and we are shopping for a new toilet in lowes.
Me upon seeing the kohler toilets: "they are recruiting engineers next week at our college" "I don't think I want to work for a toilet company though"
Mom: "well they probably make good money"
Me: "yeah but I hear it's a shitty job"
A groan came from both her and the lowes employee who was helping us.
I was purchasing a Square and level, an older man comes up to me and says "Don't worry I think you're innocent............. because you're obviously framed." I had to think for a while and he explained it was funny because of the tools I had in my hand.
Only driven from time to time.
He's an atheist.
But I knew I’d end up with too much Thyme on my hands
Hammer and Sickle Cell Anemic!
Maybe that's why I have such low elf-esteem.
It’s only one percent.
I tell them : "Its not about the money; Its about sending a message"
"0mg", I replied
Why
He's a master of deduction
Get it?
His whole life he’s been a naan starter.
You can only use a low ha
When I was 15 there was a Home Depot bucket next to the front door for a while. One night I was watching tv with my mom. She was laying on the couch and I was laying on the floor.
My dad got home from work and as he was taking off his boots he asked “Hey, where did that Home Depot bucket come from?” And without skipping a beat I said “I don’t know. Home Depot?” My mom laughed so hard and my dad was pissed. I got grounded for a week for “being a smart ass”.
I’m now 26 and to this day when my dad and I go to Home Depot I always chuckle and point to the buckets and ask “Hey dad, where do you think those come from.”
On one of these trips I picked one up and was examining it when my dad asked me what I was looking for. I turned the bucket upside down and said “Well would you look at that dad. They’re from Lowe’s.” I thought he was gonna knock my ass out right there.
TLDR: My dad: “Where did that Home Depot bucket come from?” Me: “I don’t know. Home Depot?”
Or just a low ha?
When do we want them? Nyoow
But they're in high demand
It's such a low blow.
It has super low milage I only drive it from time to time!
Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...
Like, seriously. How low can you go?
That’s because you have low selfie steam.
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
"Dear, get off the swing" she said.
....if Rob Lowe could Rob Lowe's how many Lowe's would Rob Lowe Rob?
(on loudspeaker): "Customer assistance needed in the blind cutting area. Customer assistance needed in the blind cutting area."
Dad: "Why are they cutting blind people?!"
.. really only driven from time to time.
They’re only driven from from time to time
Or just a low ha?
Now you can only use a low ha
Only driven from time to time!
He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"
Or just a low ha
