π︎ 17
π
︎ May 07 2012
I like my women like a pile of Loweβs precut studs:
Cheap, stacked and knotty
π︎ 3
π
︎ Mar 13 2021
Just got back from Loweβs where I picked up a cool new gadget.
Solar powered clippers attached to a drone that I can program to do most of my landscaping.
Itβs real Cutting Hedge Technology.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 16 2020
This Is A Paid advertisement: Have a home project youβre working on? For a limited time, Lowes Home Improvement is now selling Levels 2 for the price of 1!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 28 2020
Robe Lowe prefers pure, uncut cocaine.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
Tip of the day: The toilets at Lowes are just for display.
(they should put signs on those, or something..)
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 14 2019
Walking into Lowes with my father in-law, he got my brother in-law and I good.
As we are getting close to walking into the store we walk past three gentlemen standing outside and one of them is holding some lumber. My father in-law looks at them and says "Must be having an important board meeting, carry on gentlemen".
We died laughing.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 22 2019
Walking through the garden section in Lowes
Step daughter " These rocks smell the candy."
Me "Would you say they smell like rock candy?"
Her facial expression was priceless
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 18 2018
At Lowes today the intercom lady says βSpecial Assistance Needed in the Blind Cutting Area.β
insert your dadβs joke here.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 11 2017
So my dad told me he was going to Lowe's..
"What are you getting there?" I asked.
"An Irish guy," he replied.
"What?"
"Patio furniture!"
"...what?"
"An Irish guy! Patty O' Furniture!"
π︎ 55
π
︎ Jul 17 2015
Lowe's: A place for dads
At Lowe's volunteering my truck to move some lumber that a friend is using to make his girlfriend shelves. He and I are standing with the boards, distracting her kids while she settles up at the counter. Among the continuous babble from her youngest was "I'm thirsty." Simultaneously from three directions around him, my friend and I and a passing Lowe's employee:
"Hi thirsty, I'm Mike!"
"Hi thirsty, I'm Dave!"
"Hi thirsty, I'm Neil!"
We all shared a moment while mom shot us the most exhausted and disappointed look I've ever seen.
π︎ 66
π
︎ Jan 23 2014
Dad Joked Mom in Lowes
I'm an Mech. Engineering student and we are shopping for a new toilet in lowes.
Me upon seeing the kohler toilets: "they are recruiting engineers next week at our college"
"I don't think I want to work for a toilet company though"
Mom: "well they probably make good money"
Me: "yeah but I hear it's a shitty job"
A groan came from both her and the lowes employee who was helping us.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Sep 20 2014
Awkward encounter at Lowes today
I was purchasing a Square and level, an older man comes up to me and says "Don't worry I think you're innocent............. because you're obviously framed." I had to think for a while and he explained it was funny because of the tools I had in my hand.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 01 2014
Anyone interested in buying my Delorean? Great condition, low mileage...
Only driven from time to time.
π︎ 422
π
︎ Apr 23 2021
Do you think jugglers who live in houses with low ceilings...
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 13 2021
Ever heard of the god with low self-esteem?
π︎ 21
π
︎ May 05 2021
Low Effort Post
https://i.imgur.com/wve7RaB.jpg
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 18 2021
I had nothing to do so I thought of personally mixing the small leaves of a low-growing aromatic plant of the mint family.
But I knew Iβd end up with too much Thyme on my hands
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 07 2021
Low effort high yield.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 14 2021
Low effort puns are my favorite.
π︎ 47
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
What Do You Call a Russian with Low Blood/Oxygen Content?
Hammer and Sickle Cell Anemic!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 18 2021
I always had low charisma when I chose elf in D&D.
Maybe that's why I have such low elf-esteem.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 19 2021
Penny production with Abraham Lincolnβs face seems to be quite low this year.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 04 2021
I hope the standards of this sub are low enough
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 27 2021
People ask me why I still work as a mailman,on such low salary.
I tell them : "Its not about the money; Its about sending a message"
π︎ 52
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
My doctor texted me that I was suffering from low magnesium
π︎ 80
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
Why are Sherlock Holmes' taxes so low?
He's a master of deduction
π︎ 107
π
︎ Dec 24 2020
Dad jokes are low hanging fruit and here's why
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 01 2021
My extremely low effort drawn out pun. Whatβs it trying to say?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Oct 18 2020
There are 2 types of people: 1) people who make inferences over low amounts of information
π︎ 6
π
︎ Dec 14 2020
Why did the Indian yeast have low self esteem?
His whole life heβs been a naan starter.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
My Dad and the Home Depot Bucket.
When I was 15 there was a Home Depot bucket next to the front door for a while. One night I was watching tv with my mom. She was laying on the couch and I was laying on the floor.
My dad got home from work and as he was taking off his boots he asked βHey, where did that Home Depot bucket come from?β And without skipping a beat I said βI donβt know. Home Depot?β My mom laughed so hard and my dad was pissed. I got grounded for a week for βbeing a smart assβ.
Iβm now 26 and to this day when my dad and I go to Home Depot I always chuckle and point to the buckets and ask βHey dad, where do you think those come from.β
On one of these trips I picked one up and was examining it when my dad asked me what I was looking for. I turned the bucket upside down and said βWell would you look at that dad. Theyβre from Loweβs.β I thought he was gonna knock my ass out right there.
TLDR:
My dad: βWhere did that Home Depot bucket come from?β
Me: βI donβt know. Home Depot?β
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 29 2021
Due to complaints, Hawaii passed a law where you're not allowed to laugh above a certain decibel
You can only use a low ha
π︎ 328
π
︎ Apr 27 2021
What do we want? Low flying airplane noises
When do we want them? Nyoow
π︎ 72
π
︎ Nov 04 2020
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?
π︎ 148
π
︎ Mar 30 2021
What would you call a dress for a cow?
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 08 2021
I was gonna tell you guys an economics joke
But they're in high demand
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 07 2021
Puns for a food admirer
I want to design a custom apron for someone who likes admiring food for how it looks more than how it tastes.
So far, I've thought of the following:
- in-food-uator (like 'infatuator' / infatuation)
- food-mirin (this seems kinda low effort lol).
Any more ideas? TIA!
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 05 2021
When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that Iβm an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.
Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...
π︎ 37
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
Anyone wanna buy a Delorean?
It has super low milage
I only drive it from time to time!
π︎ 19
π
︎ Apr 21 2021
I refuse to make jokes about tuba players
π︎ 22
π
︎ May 01 2021
Did you hear about the law they just passed in Hawaii prohibiting loud laughter?
Your laughter must be kept to a low "Ha".
π︎ 6
π
︎ May 21 2021
Astonishmium
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Oct 07 2020
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you donβt.β And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town canβt be buried here.β I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz theyβre still alive!"
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Jul 28 2019
ππ weβve hit a new low
π︎ 35
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
As a huge sports statistics geek, I tend to store all my documents related to high school and collegiate athletes up high.
That way, I can keep a low pro file.
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 21 2021
I canβt believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick!
Like, seriously. How low can you go?
π︎ 113
π
︎ Apr 08 2021
I was telling my wife how sometimes I feel really high and sometimes I feel really low.
"Dear, get off the swing" she said.
π︎ 186
π
︎ May 29 2020
If Rob Lowe.....
....if Rob Lowe could Rob Lowe's how many Lowe's would Rob Lowe Rob?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 27 2018
At Lowes...
(on loudspeaker): "Customer assistance needed in the blind cutting area. Customer assistance needed in the blind cutting area."
Dad: "Why are they cutting blind people?!"
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 16 2014
Anyone out there interested in buying my DeLorean ? Great condition, low mileage..
.. really only driven from time to time.
π︎ 711
π
︎ Apr 19 2021
Why do Deloreans always have such low mileage?
Theyβre only driven from from time to time
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Jan 16 2021
Do they allow loud laughter in Hawaii?
π︎ 89
π
︎ Apr 28 2021
Does Hawaii allow loud laughs?
π︎ 58
π
︎ May 17 2021
Due to noise complaints, they passed a law in Hawaii that youβre no longer allowed to laugh above a certain decibel...
Now you can only use a low ha
π︎ 94
π
︎ Apr 27 2021
I'm looking to sell my Delorean. Itβs in Great condition, low mileage..
Only driven from time to time!
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Sep 27 2019
Did you know in the 1950βs Hawaii passed a law that people were not allowed to laugh above a certain decibel due to too many noise complaints?
Now you can only do a-low-ha
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 19 2021
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.