Bad Rob Lowe pun imgur.com/ZyOJ1
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fruitrollupsalad
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2012
🚨︎ report
I like my women like a pile of Lowe’s precut studs:

Cheap, stacked and knotty

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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Just got back from Lowe’s where I picked up a cool new gadget.

Solar powered clippers attached to a drone that I can program to do most of my landscaping.

It’s real Cutting Hedge Technology.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Krusty100
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2020
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This Is A Paid advertisement: Have a home project you’re working on? For a limited time, Lowes Home Improvement is now selling Levels 2 for the price of 1!

Multi-level marketing

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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Robe Lowe prefers pure, uncut cocaine.

Rob Lowe loves raw blow.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uncleherpie
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
Tip of the day: The toilets at Lowes are just for display.

(they should put signs on those, or something..)

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MagicGuy66
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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Walking into Lowes with my father in-law, he got my brother in-law and I good.

As we are getting close to walking into the store we walk past three gentlemen standing outside and one of them is holding some lumber. My father in-law looks at them and says "Must be having an important board meeting, carry on gentlemen".

We died laughing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Praefectus27
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Walking through the garden section in Lowes

Step daughter " These rocks smell the candy."

Me "Would you say they smell like rock candy?"

Her facial expression was priceless

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JelloVV
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
🚨︎ report
At Lowes today the intercom lady says β€œSpecial Assistance Needed in the Blind Cutting Area.”

insert your dad’s joke here.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Superd3n
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2017
🚨︎ report
So my dad told me he was going to Lowe's..

"What are you getting there?" I asked.

"An Irish guy," he replied.

"What?"

"Patio furniture!"

"...what?"

"An Irish guy! Patty O' Furniture!"

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MitchManGuy
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2015
🚨︎ report
Lowe's: A place for dads

At Lowe's volunteering my truck to move some lumber that a friend is using to make his girlfriend shelves. He and I are standing with the boards, distracting her kids while she settles up at the counter. Among the continuous babble from her youngest was "I'm thirsty." Simultaneously from three directions around him, my friend and I and a passing Lowe's employee:

"Hi thirsty, I'm Mike!" "Hi thirsty, I'm Dave!" "Hi thirsty, I'm Neil!"

We all shared a moment while mom shot us the most exhausted and disappointed look I've ever seen.

πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BubbaFeets
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad Joked Mom in Lowes

I'm an Mech. Engineering student and we are shopping for a new toilet in lowes.

Me upon seeing the kohler toilets: "they are recruiting engineers next week at our college" "I don't think I want to work for a toilet company though"

Mom: "well they probably make good money"

Me: "yeah but I hear it's a shitty job"

A groan came from both her and the lowes employee who was helping us.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oneevilchicken
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2014
🚨︎ report
Awkward encounter at Lowes today

I was purchasing a Square and level, an older man comes up to me and says "Don't worry I think you're innocent............. because you're obviously framed." I had to think for a while and he explained it was funny because of the tools I had in my hand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diddy403
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2014
🚨︎ report
Anyone interested in buying my Delorean? Great condition, low mileage...

Only driven from time to time.

πŸ‘︎ 422
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πŸ‘€︎ u/justshtmypnts
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
🚨︎ report
Do you think jugglers who live in houses with low ceilings...

Have lofty dreams?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
🚨︎ report
Ever heard of the god with low self-esteem?

He's an atheist.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FacelessPoet
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Low Effort Post

https://i.imgur.com/wve7RaB.jpg

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LAHAROFDEATH
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
🚨︎ report
I had nothing to do so I thought of personally mixing the small leaves of a low-growing aromatic plant of the mint family.

But I knew I’d end up with too much Thyme on my hands

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndrewMacSydney
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
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Low effort high yield.
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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Low effort puns are my favorite.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ketannn
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2021
🚨︎ report
What Do You Call a Russian with Low Blood/Oxygen Content?

Hammer and Sickle Cell Anemic!

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
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I always had low charisma when I chose elf in D&D.

Maybe that's why I have such low elf-esteem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RPawesomeness
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Penny production with Abraham Lincoln’s face seems to be quite low this year.

It’s only one percent.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
I hope the standards of this sub are low enough
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yomamama69
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Low effort joke. (Click on the image) youtu.be/W277dONbnzs
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/UnsteadyKoala
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
🚨︎ report
People ask me why I still work as a mailman,on such low salary.

I tell them : "Its not about the money; Its about sending a message"

πŸ‘︎ 52
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rhshi14
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
My doctor texted me that I was suffering from low magnesium

"0mg", I replied

πŸ‘︎ 80
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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Why are Sherlock Holmes' taxes so low?

He's a master of deduction

πŸ‘︎ 107
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SolgaleoGamePlays
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad jokes are low hanging fruit and here's why

Why

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phuckingidiot
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
My extremely low effort drawn out pun. What’s it trying to say?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/C3Slayer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
There are 2 types of people: 1) people who make inferences over low amounts of information

Get it?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LightningClone
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Indian yeast have low self esteem?

His whole life he’s been a naan starter.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tim_breeding
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My Dad and the Home Depot Bucket.

When I was 15 there was a Home Depot bucket next to the front door for a while. One night I was watching tv with my mom. She was laying on the couch and I was laying on the floor.

My dad got home from work and as he was taking off his boots he asked β€œHey, where did that Home Depot bucket come from?” And without skipping a beat I said β€œI don’t know. Home Depot?” My mom laughed so hard and my dad was pissed. I got grounded for a week for β€œbeing a smart ass”.

I’m now 26 and to this day when my dad and I go to Home Depot I always chuckle and point to the buckets and ask β€œHey dad, where do you think those come from.”

On one of these trips I picked one up and was examining it when my dad asked me what I was looking for. I turned the bucket upside down and said β€œWell would you look at that dad. They’re from Lowe’s.” I thought he was gonna knock my ass out right there.

TLDR: My dad: β€œWhere did that Home Depot bucket come from?” Me: β€œI don’t know. Home Depot?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Malfoy1743
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Due to complaints, Hawaii passed a law where you're not allowed to laugh above a certain decibel

You can only use a low ha

πŸ‘︎ 328
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Da_Brootalz
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
What do we want? Low flying airplane noises

When do we want them? Nyoow

πŸ‘︎ 72
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Connor0388
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii?

Or just a low ha?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bttrflyr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
🚨︎ report
What would you call a dress for a cow?

A moo-moo.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I was gonna tell you guys an economics joke

But they're in high demand

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBreadSkeleton
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Puns for a food admirer

I want to design a custom apron for someone who likes admiring food for how it looks more than how it tastes. So far, I've thought of the following:

  1. in-food-uator (like 'infatuator' / infatuation)
  2. food-mirin (this seems kinda low effort lol).

Any more ideas? TIA!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/skpgreen25
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2021
🚨︎ report
When I was young, my parents used to buy all my sports gear but now that I’m an adult I figured I should splurge and buy myself a nice hockey stick. When I went looking at the store I realized that my parents would only buy me low quality, inexpensive sticks to save money.

Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deathorcharcoal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Anyone wanna buy a Delorean?

It has super low milage I only drive it from time to time!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clkish1988
πŸ“…︎ Apr 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I refuse to make jokes about tuba players

It's such a low blow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2021
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the law they just passed in Hawaii prohibiting loud laughter?

Your laughter must be kept to a low "Ha".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrob1202
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
Astonishmium
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kenebalism
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don’t.” And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can’t be buried here.” I was really confused so I asked why?

He rasped, "Cuz they’re still alive!"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
🚨︎ report
πŸ˜”πŸ˜” we’ve hit a new low
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jstalii
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2020
🚨︎ report
As a huge sports statistics geek, I tend to store all my documents related to high school and collegiate athletes up high.

That way, I can keep a low pro file.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
🚨︎ report
I can’t believe someone broke into my garage and stole my limbo stick!

Like, seriously. How low can you go?

πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedudenamedjay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2021
🚨︎ report
I was telling my wife how sometimes I feel really high and sometimes I feel really low.

"Dear, get off the swing" she said.

πŸ‘︎ 186
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
If Rob Lowe.....

....if Rob Lowe could Rob Lowe's how many Lowe's would Rob Lowe Rob?

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/2donutkid2
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
🚨︎ report
At Lowes...

(on loudspeaker): "Customer assistance needed in the blind cutting area. Customer assistance needed in the blind cutting area."

Dad: "Why are they cutting blind people?!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tananar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2014
🚨︎ report
Anyone out there interested in buying my DeLorean ? Great condition, low mileage..

.. really only driven from time to time.

πŸ‘︎ 711
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Why do Deloreans always have such low mileage?

They’re only driven from from time to time

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BobSagieBauls
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2021
🚨︎ report
Do they allow loud laughter in Hawaii?

Or just a low ha?

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Falcia
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2021
🚨︎ report
Does Hawaii allow loud laughs?

Or just a low ha?

πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jigsatics
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2021
🚨︎ report
Due to noise complaints, they passed a law in Hawaii that you’re no longer allowed to laugh above a certain decibel...

Now you can only use a low ha

πŸ‘︎ 94
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thedudenamedjay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2021
🚨︎ report
I'm looking to sell my Delorean. It’s in Great condition, low mileage..

Only driven from time to time!

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you know in the 1950’s Hawaii passed a law that people were not allowed to laugh above a certain decibel due to too many noise complaints?

Now you can only do a-low-ha

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/your-turn
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2021
🚨︎ report

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