Hello again! Happy New Years Eve!!

I'm here with part 3.

I have a few updates/corrections ive made to the article, and some more serious things I'd like to tell you guys about here as well. First, corrections & updates:

• in Dec 2015 I said Travis was at a Weeknd concert in Houston with his cousins, they were actually his twin younger siblings, thank you u/kushqueen17!
• Found this set of tweets from dec 2016 when she was in houston, article is updated with this. A girl said, “i know when Ro is on a baecation cuz she falls off” which is slang for like, going MIA, and she replies “im “visiting family” ” in quotations like that loll
• Coachella 2016, I said that the home they were staying at was 45 minutes from the venue Coachella is held. A user who lives in the area corrected me here, the neighborhood they were in was actually only a block away from the venue. Thank you u/goldengoldfisher!
• The billboard Ro posted on 3/14/16 was NOT from travis. Several redditors pointed this out and gave sources for me, the article now is updated to reflect this. Thanks all!!
• An update I made for Sept 2 2016: Travis releases his 2nd studio album, Birds in the Trap Sing McKnight. It goes #1 on Billboard, huge success for him. Sidenote: Brian McKnight’s son seems to be friends with Ro. Lmao
• Two redditors ( u/fart9 and u/fuzzyfrosie ) separately went out of their way to find the castle-y place Ro was at in this pic. One DMed me last night and another commented earlier this morning!! Yall are talented af!! Its in LA! And costs $4,000 a night. Post now is updated with this info linked as well. Thank you all!!
• Ros birthday is March 11th, not 15th. Proof here , the article has been updated to reflect this. Makes me even more sure about their March 8-12th ski/snow trip getaway
• I added more screenshots and evidence throughout that arent worth mentioning here but if you reread youll see them. Theyre not super important just some more dates and pics that go together

Now onto a more serious topic..

There are a few people who have been commenting pretty aggressively on my last two posts denying random things and saying things were fake or not true without providing any proof or evidence to the contrary.

Around when these c

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"Humanity, unlike us, wages a war on silence. To many of us, silence represents harmony, peace, unity with others and unity in purpose. To humanity, silence represents danger, a predator waiting for a sight of weakness, an enemy laying in ambush. So, humanity wages a war on silence. And uses the means of this war, as one of the most effective weapons against their enemies. In a later part of the lecture..."

"The weapons on the war on silence are numerous, ranging from the sophisticated sonic weaponry, called rock or metal music, used on encircled enemies, through the less, technologically, sophisticated military chants and marches into the primitive act of banging their swords against their shields. The motivation is numerous. Scare the enemy, disrupt their spirits whilst bolstering your own..."

"But nothing can equal to the, excuse the use of the phrase, the weapon that broke the back of our ancestors, nothing can equal to the scream of primal rage, fury, promise of death, when humanity discards the cloak of civilization and throws themselves at you with nothing, but that terrible and liberating rage...." u/MooseSyndrome, russet Mantid philosopher, 125 PG

"You can tour the ruins of the Terran Invasion on Mantid Prime, what the humans code-named 'Anthill', and walk the wind-swept sand dusted battlements, walk through the buildings, even see the old craters from two hundred years ago.

"No Mantid will tour those places.

"To anyone else, those areas are a silent tomb, an empty reminder that even the strongest will eventually run into someone who wants it more.

"To my people, it is anything but silent. We can feel the simmering rage, the howling rage, the frothing insanity that consumed the Combined Military Authority Armed Forces. We can hear the scream of the last Pubvians. We can hear the barbaric ichor chilling undulating hunting cry of the universe's foremost omnivorous pack hunter.

"We can hear Speakers wailing in terror, hear Warriors attempting to defy the will of the Omniqueen and run from the battle, we can hear greenies, russets, black mantids, and gold all wailing within their own minds for freedom.

"We can see the shadows created by the

Note that I am not OP. This is a repots bus. OP is u/throwRAcnfsdwfe. Commentor with good questions is u/DothrakAndRoll

Mood: >!Hopeful!<

Original Post: I let my best friend move in with us because he was going through a bad time now he and my wife have gotten close and want us to start a poly "family"

Yep, thats what I am going through nowadays, lol. I cant help but laugh at this suggestion because the only other option is to cry. My best friend of 8 years recently lost his job so his apartment became too costly to afford, so when he asked to move in with me till the end of the year I agreed. He moved in with us at the start of November. And after a few days I noticed the two of them getting closer, but as I considered him as a brother an affair was the furthest thing from my mind. But as we all know, human depravity knows no bound, my wife approached me 3 days ago and said that she and my best friend have fallen in love but of respect for me they have not done anything physical yet. They want the 3 of us to start a poly family which will be the best solution in this scenario. As she loves both of us and doesnt want to lose me and this is the true way to live by sharing love, lol.

My best friend also talked with me and said that he always had a crush on my wife and it would have been wrong to deny this crush because he didnt want to be dishonest to his true self.

So my question is, do I even try to save my marriage? Or should I save my sanity and run? Any other advice for me?

Edit/update- A lot of you are asking why am I not more angry, why didnt I punch him in the face etc. What does that get me other than a chance to spend a night in a police lockup? I cant punch my way to a world where my best friend and wife are better people, I have to live in this world where I have to deal with these two. So I have asked him to leave and he has said that he will leave by Monday and I didnt want to argue really so I agreed. As for my wife she is saying she is willing to stay monogamous to me if thats what I want and we can get through this by attending some counselling. I am not sure if things can go back to how they were. Also the house is in the name of my elder brother and I dont even pay rent so I have to see a lawyer to understand what my options are. I talked to my brother and he

Previous / First

Writer's note: No pancakes served after breakfast hours have concluded. Try a different chapter. Later on. Once some have been cooked. For now, just relationship growth.

OH YEAH! You're finally getting your first bit of solid info on the VANISHING BLIGHT.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When James awoke the next day, he remembered the night before. He'd convinced General Sigbert to let him go easy on the drinking. He explained that the last few times he'd drank, he'd nearly ended up getting killed in various ways. He neglected to mention that oner of those times had almost been by Amina.

The welcome party had been raucous. All the soldiers and researchers not on guard duty had joined. Several of them had even thrown together a rag tag band and played music. Apparently Veliry and one of the mages in the camp had a bit of "history" and ended up leaving the party early together. James had just smiled as he watched them sneak out.

Gixelle and the General had very quickly begun to challenge each other to physical challenges. It had started at arm wrestling. Then it had quickly progressed to cask lifts, then cask tosses. Eventually it ended in a drinking contest that somehow involved cutting down trees. James didn't understand that, but they weren't roping him into it, so he wasn't going to worry about it.

Kela meanwhile, ran into an old werewolf friend who she introduced to James as the resident Arch Druid. Unlike Kela he didn't seem to be undergoing the change back to human, and actually looked much more wolf-like than Kela ever had. James almost expected him to walk on all fours. But he seemed nice. He even had a fox that sat on his shoulders throughout the night. James tried petting it, but the fox snapped at him. Kela and Bark-Soul, as he was now called apparently, spent the night leading the soldiers in drinking songs. Though, these usually devolved to howling up into the sky for the two of them.

James and Amina simply continued enjoying each other's company. Sharing drinks by the fire. Eating the roast meat and bread that was being passed around liberally.

When the party was finally winding down, James staggered over to where Gixelle and Sigbert were playing a card game that James recognized as Sheathed Dagger. They had several other soldiers pl

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Hello all people of various sizes, I’ve been addicted to this subreddit for the past 4 months after discovering it.

To give a tldr, I’ve been around planet sized people my whole life, and I’ve got some stories. This is one that still gives me ptsd thou...

Disclaimer and shizzles, English is my second language and auto-correct can only do so much when greentexting (?is that a word?) and you better believe I’m gonna greentext this bitch.

• Be me at 16, started at job at McBeetus TM to save up for future beep mobile
• First interview hungover as fuck cuz europe privilege of getting shitfaced at 16
• Fatty mc fat fat manager likes me for some reason
• Spill some bullshit about how i’m supposed to be a good value to the team and shit
• MFW apparently I aced that interview
• Start 2 weeks later during school break
• Job is easy as fuck tbh
• Was a model student employee just cuz i showed up on time 99% of the time and wasn’t completely shitfaced or krispy stoned
• NotThatHighAStandard.lmfao
• Most of the time worked in the kitchen cuz I really didn’t like the costumers and didn’t take their shit.
• First time being forced to work the counter for reasons i can’t remember
• Fml.png
• Not even 8 minutes in, whalebeast waddels up to my register
• Whalesong goes, I want a yada yada with yada, without yada, ....
• Continue rant for like 3 minutes
• couldn’t keep up for the life of me after my 4 minute extensive training
• Ask the formless blob to repeat herself
• Yada yada this is not how a customer yada
• Was already hungover that day and really didn’t feel like it
• Standard question here: how many trays?
• As in, for how many people is that order
• ‘One please’
• whutInTheNameOfWut.question
• Bitch ordered food for like 5 peeps, just for her
• My reaction was not subtle enough
• And there we go on the second rant
• Let her rant and go collect her food in the meantime
• couldn’t fit it on one tray for the life of me, even when stacking shit
• Placed a second
• REEEEE
• Apologize cuz was still beta back then
• Bitch got comped cuz I was ‘not customer friendly’ or some shit
• Had to stack her monster on one plate
• Jenga the shit out of this
• Takes plate, four steps, aaand “TIMBEEEEER” it went
• MySidesWent.there
• Found out then two milkshakes is a bitch to clean and apparently i was to blame cuz fatty mc fat manager like fat people
• Probably cuz they supply her bonus for the most part
• Got chewed out for lolling out loud
• Well shit and tough luck
• Few weeks

“It’s so damned cold!” my girlfriend murmurs, shivering, and I unwrap my scarf from my neck and chuck it onto her shoulders. “Hey, no!” she replies, though she’s smiling. “Now you’ll just get cold!”

“I don’t get cold”, I lie, as we walk together towards the factory.

The factory is long abandoned. A massive, half-collapsed monolith out here in the scrublands. The area around us is covered with snow, and our shadows are long and dark beneath the orange-white glow of the lone, still-operational streetlight.

It isn’t night-time, not quite yet, but the day is dark and gloomy. There’s no-one else around, and the snow ahead is unbroken with any footprints.

“Do you think the rumours are true?” I ask her, grabbing her shoulders and making her jump.

She makes a noise at me and pushes me away. “Well, duh. Of course they’re true. They have to be. We wouldn’t be exploring a NON-haunted building now would we? That would be boring”.

The entrance to the factory approaches. The glass is smashed in one of its outer doors, and the other is covered with wooden-board, now well-graffitied. There’s a crude marionette spray-painted in white, and an ominous, cryptic ‘DON’T GET STRUNG’ warning scrawled beneath it in black.

“Don’t get strung…” I whisper creepily into Laura’s ear, and she laughs and pushes me away for a second time.

Her laughter fades as we step up to the factory’s door. The gates to the unknown.

“Well”, I say, “are you ready to go in?”

“Yeah”, she replies, glancing behind her. “Yeah, let’s do this”.

Let’s do this.

So in we go. I grab the handle and grunt with the strain, but am able to force it open about a foot, and we squeeze our way through the gap and into the shadows. The wintery breeze becomes a steady, ongoing backing rumble as we push steadily into the hallway and through further, broken doorways. There are portraits hung up here in the lobby, completely dusted over and faded, and only the faintest silhouettes are still visible.

We take some time to admire them. Or what’s left of them, to try and decipher what they might once have depicted.

One of these faded silhouettes looks kind of like a man- or a person, at least- with their arms outstretched.

Another looks like a spool of string. I try to rub away some of the layers of grime and dust, but not much else is revealed.

“This is so creepy”, Laura murmurs. “What do you think they used to make here?”

“No idea”, I reply as we step through the lobby and into the main room of the fac

“Do you remember Dad?”

I looked up at my sister. Just like always, it was like looking into a mirror where the reflection was just slightly off. Subtle differences here and there that most people wouldn’t even notice, but were obvious to me. I shook my head as I took another bite of my sandwich. We only had thirty minutes for lunch, and I wanted to finish eating so we had time to play a bit before the teacher called us back in.

“No.”

My sister watched me for a few moments before nodding. “It’s better that way.”

I shrugged as I swallowed down the wad of bread and peanut butter. “I wish I did though.” Meeting her eyes, I raised an eyebrow. “Do you?”

She mimicked my shrug. “Yeah, some. In time so will you.”

What did that mean? I went to ask when a painful twisting sensation gripped my belly. I dropped the last of my sandwich as I clutched my stomach, the aching pressure of something coming up filling my throat and then my mouth as I vomited out a mixture of my lunch and…what was that? A little wooden tile?

Still coughing and gagging a little, I poked at the small pile of throw up with the toe of my shoe, flipping over the little wooden tile where it lay in the wet grass. On the other side was a letter—M—and beside it in lower, smaller type was the number three. I stared at it in confusion. Where had that come from? Raising my head to look at my sister, another wave of nausea gripped me. Retching, I spat out a small square that fluttered to the ground next to where the letter tile lay. Eyes watering, I finally looked up at my sister, expecting her to be surprised or even horrified. Instead she was just watching me silently.

“What’s happening? Why would I puke that up?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Must be a reason. What’s that second thing you just threw up?”

Grimacing, I bent down and picked it up, my fear and curiosity overriding my disgust as I gave it a shake and brought it closer. I felt myself gag again. It stank. Going over to the water fountain, I washed it off quickly before bringing it back to where my sister sat patiently waiting. Holding it out between my thumb and forefinger, I showed it to her.

“I think it’s a slide. Like an old-timey photo like they showed us on the projector thing that time.” I turned it over in my hand. “It’s like someone cut away most of the paper part and just left the picture and a little paper edge.” My heart was hammering in my chest, and I could hear the tremor in my voice when

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

Context: Harlequins attack space wolves in order to perform a dance and for this they need a victim. The space wolves understand that they are weaker in a direct fight and decide to use different tactics.

> ‘Recall, Brother Forgan,’ said Tanngjost, ‘the lessons Russ taught us. War is not just headlong fury, though it is best when it is. Sometimes we must take whatever the enemy gives us and turn it against him. We are outnumbered and these aliens surpass all others of their kind in skill, so if we fight them head-on we will be lost. That would be a poor memorial for Hengild and Gildas. Think on what these eldar have given us to use against them. Their leader’s mind was unguarded for a second, and now we know what they want.’

>
>  ‘Then what do you plan to do, Brother Tanngjost?’ asked Vinnjar.

>
>  ‘Forgan here says we do not make war to tell a story,’ said Tanngjost. ‘But I do not think that is always true.’

>
>  The eldar had remained in the debating hall, where the blood of Hengild and Gildas had dried on the statues. They were surrounded by spinning fractals of light as they ran through the endlessly complex steps of their dance. The witch hung in the air between them, hands outstretched, watching the dance unfold.

>
>  The witch cocked its head to the side as a howl echoed through Phalakan Academy. It was a sound both mournful and furious, a challenge to a fight and a mourning cry for the dead.

>
>  The witch gestured and the eldar halted in their dance. This was a turning point in the story, the executioner’s tale, the tale that needed only a victim to be complete. The witch drifted to the floor and led the eldar out of the debating hall, towards the sound of the Space Wolf’s howl.

>
>  Soon the dance would be finished, and the gods of the eldar would bless the war for Phalakan.

>
>  Tanngjost stood alone in the academy’s museum, keening out the last seconds of his howl. When he was finished, he hung his head and drew in long measured breaths, settling into a state of calm and vigilance before the fight.

>
>  The museum was a monument to the ruling class of Phalakan. It was a desperate illustration of their superiority, as if it could halt the slide of the planet into anarchy. There was something tragic among the displays of heraldic weaponry and preserved warhorses, the sceptres and crowns and the skulls of beasts slain by young princes. Pe

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

And boy are my arms legs.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

It really does, I swear!