3 Hilarious Labor Contract Puns

My wife screamed in pain during labor so I asked, “What’s wrong?”. She screamed. “These contractions are going to kill me!!”

“I am sorry, honey,” I replied. “What is wrong?”

👍︎ 15k

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👤︎ u/Bakedschwarzenbach

📅︎ Aug 03 2019

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REQUEST: Dads, Lend me your strength!

What are your best dad jokes for the maternity visit? The baby is days away and I need an arsenal for these here finger guns (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

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👤︎ u/Jeromaroo

📅︎ Jul 07 2020

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My pregnant wife hobbled into the hospital with one hand on her back...

A nurse asked her what's wrong, and my wife screamed, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Didn't!"

The nurse shook her head and said, "I'm sorry…I don't understand."

My wife's face contorted in pain as she shouted, "Can't! Won't! Don't!"

The nurse, bewildered, turned the doctor.

"Admit her," the doctor said. "She's having contractions."

👍︎ 5k

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter

📅︎ Apr 30 2017

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