Knotting Puns

Rope replies I’m a frayed knot.

An orangutangle

I said, "You did not." She glares at me, "Yes I did." Me, "You did knot." She grudgingly accepts reality and stomps away, head shaking.

Tie-land.

He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.

Me: I cannot

Friend: ah so you can knot

Me: no I cannot knot

Friend: knot knot?

Other friend: who's there

An Astro-not.

but I’m knot

I'm floating away very quickly.

Discord

Because, well, Y knot?

He said he’s too old for not-knot jokes.

I guess she rubbed too many people the wrong way.

The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”

The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”

I changed my mind because i would get board quickly.

The barman says, "We don't like your tie pin here. "

He logged in!

I just wasn’t sure if it woodwork.

Eats too inn the mourning end eye veal lyke ass leap

I am married for the 3rd time, does that count?

And the rope replies, “I’m a frayed knot.”

Why knot ?

Figure eight.

They climb up a couple of bar stools and have a seat. One of them says to the bartender, "Hey, give me and my partner here a beer would you?"

The bartender replied, "Sorry, we don't serve strings here."

So they climb down off of the bar stools and slither across the floor and out of the bar.

One says to the other,"Lets go down the street. I know of a better bar than this one anyways."

"Now wait a minute, said the other string.This is clearly discrimination!"

"Well what do you intend to do about it?"said the other string?

"I'm going to go back in with a disguise and I'll get that damn beer." So he ties himself in a knot, frazzles up one end of himself,goes back into the bar,slithers across the floor and climbs up the bar stool. He says to the bartender, "I'd like a beer please."

The bartender says," Wait a minute . Aren't you the same piece of string that was in here a while ago?"

So the string said, "No.I'm a frayed knot.

Without hesitating, I respond, "You know, that's knot in a cord with what most people call good manners."

It’s where I learned you can tie the knot in different ways

A Naughty Nazi.

But its knot very good

That shit is tight.

Gluten-tag!

 

 

Then ask someone, "which of the 2 flaps do you think will unravel first?"

 

After they guess, let in unravel and go, "Its a tie!"

 

...continue doing this to every single person you can in the room wearing a shit eating grin the whole time, until your wife pulls you aside and tells you it's time to leave (out of embarrassment and frustration).

 

now you get to go back home and do Dad stuff as you please!

A frayed knot ?

Yes a frayed knot.

Afraid not.