My 7 year old proudly said dad I double knotted my shoe.
I said, "You did not."
She glares at me, "Yes I did."
Me, "You did knot."
She grudgingly accepts reality and stomps away, head shaking.
Know why they use knots instead of miles in the ocean?
Because they've got to keep the ocean tide.
I did knot see that one coming!
True story: So we were out today and sat at a table for some food. My 4yo asked what the holes and and notches were in the wood and my wife says “they are knot holes”.
Miss4 says “if they are not holes, what are they?”
I didn't tie the knot till I was 38
I am hopeless with shoelaces.
Rope walks into the bar. Bartender says, Sorry we don’t serve ropes here. Rope walks out, messes himself up, ties himself in a knot, and walks back into the bar. Bartender asked if he’s a rope!
Rope replies I’m a frayed knot.
Two pretzels walk down the street.
Knot finished with this format yet
Where were knots invented?
What do you call a monkey caught in a knot?
Two bears are talking...
Bear1: “Man, my stomach is all tied up in knots.”
Bear2: “I told you not to swallow that boy-scout whole.”
A piece of string walks into a bar
Immediately the bartender tells him to get out "We don't serve pieces of string here!"
The piece of string is a bit disappointed, but has an idea. He ruffles his top and returns to the bar.
"I told you to get out. We don't serve pieces of string here!" said the bartender
The string replies "A piece of string ?? I'm a frayed knot!"
Embroidery / Needlework Puns
Does anyone know any Embroidery puns or puns relating to stitching, needle, thread, hoops.?
There couldn't be a tier list for knots because they would all be tied
I have a friend who writes songs about sewing machines.
He's a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
How did hitler tie his shoes?
Do You know how to tie the knot in space?
I'm floating away very quickly.
Why aren't pretzels counted as bread?
Because they're knot-bread.
What did the tailor say to his son who tore a whole in his pants.
You better knot do that again.
Stare at this picture and watch me make this knot disappear.
A friend of mine is a knot theorist and I told him a joke that wasn’t about knot theory.
He said he’s too old for not-knot jokes.
A string walks into a bar and asks for a drink...
Bartender says, "we don't serve strings here."
The string goes outside, ties himself in a knot, frays his hair.
The string goes back inside. The bartender serves him a drink and says, "hey wait a minute, weren't you that string from earlier?"
And the string says, "I'm a frayed knot!"
I'm coming up with knot designs shaped like letters of the Alphabet.
My friend asked me if I could tie a quick bowline...
And the best neckwear award goes to......
What do you call a NASA employee that has never reached space?
A rope walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says says, “Get out. We don’t serve rope in here.” So the rope goes out, cuts itself in two before tying the two sections together. It then pulls out a comb and combs its ends. The rope then walks back into the bar.
The bartender says, “Hey! Aren’t you the rope that I just threw out?”
The rope replied, “No. I’m a frayed knot.”
My massage therapist got fired...
I guess she rubbed too many people the wrong way.
Eye dew knot gnaw watt two dew
Eats too inn the mourning end eye veal lyke ass leap
My colleague asked me if i was good at tying knots
I am married for the 3rd time, does that count?
A length of rope walks into a bar and orders two shots...
the bartender kicks him out on the daily making it known that they don’t serve ropes in his bar. One day he decides that he may have better luck with a disguise, so he ties himself up in a good tangle and frantically pulls all the fibers apart at both of his cut ends. He walks back into the bar and orders two shots. The bartender says to him, “ Hey...aren’t you that rope I kicked out of here yesterday?”. The rope looks at him confused and says, “ No, I’m a frayed knot”.
Last night I ate a piece of string
These ones must be taut what knot to do
I wish I was an expert at tying ropes together
People are wondering whether I have any more of these bracelets - I’m a frayed knot
A rope walks into a bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, “No, you’re only a rope.” So he decides to disguise himself. He ties himself into a knot & ruffles his edges a bit. The next day, he walks into the bar & asks for a beer. The bartender says, “Of course... Wait, aren’t you that rope?”
And the rope replies, “I’m a frayed knot.”
Last time I flew my plane a Navy pilot checked his speed right after me. Ground said he was doing 761 mph.
Knot gonna lie I think he was mach-ing me.
Couldn't believe I got funding for my new bedding and rope project.
A bunch of knots were at a restaurant, but only one had dinner? Which one had dinner?
My friend walks into my room and starts tying knots in my charging cable.
Without hesitating, I respond, "You know, that's knot in a cord with what most people call good manners."
What do you call a rope that insults you?
My girlfriend asked if I could go a day without making a 'stupid' pun... frayed knot.
What did the pretzel say when it was pulled out of the oven?
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