Why did Jonny hang fruit loops across his windows?
He is a cereal drapist.
(credit to my actual dad for this joke)
I came home really drunk last night and my wife wasn’t happy at all. “How much have you had to drink?” she asked sternly, staring at me. “Nothing” I slurred. “Look at me!” she shouted. “It’s either me or the pub, which one is it?”
I paused for a second while I thought and said, “It’s you. I can tell by the voice.”
My dad kept insisting Steve Jobs invented a revolutionary way to communicate with people by blinking at them.
In all fairness, he did invent the eye-phone with Jonny Eyeves.
And face-time.
My 3 year old niece dad joked me last night.
Me: Tessa you're so pretty
Her: Uncle jonny, I'm not pretty. I'm tessa.
