What do Winnie the Pooh, Alexander the Great, and Ivan the Terrible have in common?

They all have the same middle name.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoValiant
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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Why was Ivan Pavlov’s hair so soft?

Because he conditioned it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jetavator
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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Why was Ivan The Terrible a famous figure?

He was a Russian Tsar!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChristianC19
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2018
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Ivan Pavlov?

That name rings a bell

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πŸ‘€︎ u/essenceofpotato
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2017
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The tale of Ivan Ivanavich (Long)

There once was a man from the Ukraine named Ivan Ivanavich. Now Ivan and his family were dirt poor, in fact they were so poor, that they had to sell the cockroaches and rats they found in their hovel to make some spare change to to feed their many family members. One day, Ivan decided it was time to travel to the United States to try and have a better life and miraculously he managed to get aboard a ship to the States. Now his journey on this ship was miserable, he was down in the bowels of the ship, which was flooded with rats and feces, but he hunkered down and gave it his all to survive this terrible journey. finally, one day he hears commotion above, they had arrived at last. Ivan walks up to the topside of the old ship and sees the New York Harbor. He stands there amazed seeing such a beautiful sight. Ivan starts his life in New York but he doesn't have a significantly better life than the one he left behind. Nobody is interested in hiring immigrants but eventually he lands himself a gig of selling old newspapers. He would go through garbage cans to find old papers and would sell them to people in the poorer part of town. He makes slightly more spare change, but not really enough to live a better life. In his spare time, which he had plenty, he decides to start free diving in the bay. He goes there each day, and started to get really good at it. One day, an owner of a Circus spots him diving and is amazed at how good he is. He decides to offer Ivan a job at his circus doing performance diving. Ivan eagerly accepts and begins his career as a circus member performing amazing high jumps into really small containers of water. After a few months of doing this he suggests to the owner one amazing jump to wow everyone and put his circus on top of the entertainment world. The owner contemplates this and eventually agrees. He rents a ship much like the one Ivan arrived in and placed the smallest container yet. The radio and tv crews, journalist all arrive to spectate the event of a lifetime. The hour arrives and Ivan begins his climb up a massive lighthouse on the edge of the cliff, and the ship is positioned into place beneath him. Ivan is very nervous but decides it's go time, and jumps from the massive lighthouse. As Ivan falls, he takes perfect form heading straight towards his target. As he dives a sudden wave pushes the ship ever slightly throwing off the careful alignment. Ivan hits the deck and goes straight through the top of the ship. The spectato

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Entophreak
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2017
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I'm stuck in a migraine clinic hoping to get some relief. IVan is my new buddy imgur.com/yM0ejnb
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elithecat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2013
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What do you call an intellectual from Sankt Petersburg?

Neva mind...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/t3st0815
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2021
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Why are Russian cars so terrible?

Because no matter what gear they get Putin, they seem to always be Stalin..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2020
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This week on Dancing With the Tsars

Ivan was Terrible, Peter & Catherine were Great, and Boris was Godunov.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DadJoker1988
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
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I was talking to a Russian guy but he wouldn't tell me his name

I was Igor to find out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Human_Rayla
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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The production staff of Car Talk at NPR
  • Accounts Payable Administrator_______________Imelda Czechs

  • Accounts Payable Clerk, Moscow Office__________Dasha Chekhov

  • Air-Quality Monitor _________________________Carmine Dioxide

  • Caffeine Addiction Counselor__________________Bruno Moore

  • Chief Legal Counsel_________________________ Hugh Louis Dewey of Dewey, Cheetham & Howe

  • Cliche Monitor_____________________________Saul Wellingood

  • Clothing Designer__________________________Hugh Jass

  • Credit Counselor___________________________Max Stout

  • Director of Purchasing_______________________Lois Bidder

  • Director of Pavlovian Research________________Isabelle Ringing

  • Divorce Attorney___________________________Carmine Nottyors

  • Dog Trainer_______________________________Don Chase Katz

  • Ebay Specialist____________________________Selma Junkoff

  • Head of Security___________________________Barb Dwyer

  • Global Economics Forecaster_________________Helena Handbasket

  • Marine Biologist___________________________Frieda Wales

  • Father-in-Law Liaison_______________________Royal Payne Diaz

  • Mother-in-Law Liaison______________________Stella Payne Diaz

  • Official Spokesperson_______________________Howie Vasive

  • Restroom Attendants_______________________Trudy Door & Donna Hall

  • Russian Chauffeur__________________________Picov Andropov

  • Scout Leader______________________________Lawson D. Woods

  • Shop Foreman_____________________________Luke Bizzy

  • Staff Intuitionist____________________________Ivan Inkling

  • Used Car Salesman_________________________Alexis Itznot

Full list can be found here: http://www.cartalk.com/content/staff-credits

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πŸ‘€︎ u/IcedPyro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2016
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A Mexican dadjoke

My dad and I are sitting around watch Mexican soccer when all of a sudden he asks, "That Ivan is a defenseman, isn't he?" Who's Ivan?, I ask. "Well, the announcers keep saying Ivan atrΓ‘s, Ivan atrΓ‘s..." he answers.

For my non-Spanish speakers, that can be translated as both "Ivan in the back, Ivan in the back" or, as what they're actually saying (Y van atras) "And they're running back, and they're running back"


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πŸ‘€︎ u/helloamigo
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2015
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Dad joked at work... Again

So I'm at a meeting in work, and one of my co-workers wisdom teeth are coming in and he has the right answers to everything.

Me: You got the right answers to everything, Ivan.

Girl I work with: He's just becoming wiser.

The guy running the meeting and I start busting up laughing and everybody else groans. It was amazing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quixotic_Ryan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2014
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