99.9999999% Of All Humans Are Dying On The Earth
Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
My wife (japanese) was preparing her breakfast which for her usually includes numerous small dishes and rice. Well she announced to me. "I'm not eating rice today."
I immediately replied "Honey, you cant say that."
"That's Rice-ist"
Cue eyeroll
What do you call an inappropriate fruit?
A grape-ist.
The Nile-ist
My middle child, who loves rice, declined the yellow rice we offered him because apparently he only likes one type of rice.
Without missing a beat my daughter (11 y/o) exclaimed, "stop being rice-ist."
My job is done, clearly there is no more I can teach her.
A Caramel
I told her that sheβs rice-ist
Bernadette
Wife: I bought some with white rice and some with brown.
Daughter: I want white but that doesn't mean I'm racist.
Me: Don't you mean rice-ist?
I have a dad-a-base.
DOS ist verboten.
We were finishing dinner as my 2 year old ate some white rice. We are always trying to work nutritional foods into his diet.
My wife: "Think he'd eat brown rice?"
Me: "No. He's a rice-ist."
Rice-ist
I have read that puns are not a feature of German humour...
So are German Dad's humourless? I doubt it.
Some examples of German (or any other non-English) Dad jokes please!
A rice-ist
I don't mind doing a 5k but my running group wants to do a 10k and i really don't like them :-D
An Ortho-don't-ist!
They're race-ist
My son and I are waiting in line at Chipotle. This guy next to me starts to order. Guy behind the counter asks him what kind of rice he would like. Guy next to me looks at both, considering brown or white. "White rice" he says. I look him directly in the eyes, pause a moment, and state, loud enough for the line and the employees to hear, "That's rice-ist".
I'm a total raise-ist.
My dad and I were talking about the civil war and the use of slaves and the freedom movement and the such a while ago, (he's a history teacher at the local high school). "Dancing Queen" came on the radio and he leaned over and said, "do you know what people who like this band should be called? Abba-listen-ists" and laughed by himself for a solid minute.
Please help
We were having stirfry for dinner
ME: do you want me to bring you girls some rice?
MA: no I'm not eating any today
ME: okay.... how about you? (GF)
GF: nah I dont think ill have any either
ME: y'all are a couple of rice-ists
I received a collective groan and had a smile on my face all night
I didn't realize I was raising a rice-ist.
Wenn ist das NunstΓΌck git und Slotermeyer? Ja! Beiherhund das Oder die Flipperwaldt gersput!
