Celined ION
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hellaivory
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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What did the Lithium ion battery say to the Zinc-Carbon battery?

You only live once.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kilokiilo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
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Dad tried to invent a new lithium-ion battery.

But he failed, because he wasn't Goodenough.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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I ordered an atom but got an ion instead.

They replaced it free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 38
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BartholomewDan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2019
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What did the ion say when brought before the Judge?

Guilty as charged!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shagminer
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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A seal is just a neutral sea lion. Neutral, as in without the ion.

Thanks in advance to u/entrinao for suggesting this subreddit to me :)

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2018
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He's a man on Amish-ion
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πŸ“…︎ May 01 2019
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Are cations sneakier than regular ions?

I’m pawsitive they are. Better keep anion them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dipodomys_man
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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Looks like an... A BORT ION
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StarLuigi05
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2018
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Dad- What are ion?

Dad- Because ion get it.

Son-Dad please get out of my room its 2am

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2018
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Ions can be very powerful

For example, an executor will execute your last will, but an executIONer will execute any Will you want.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beingsubmitted
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
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Did you hear about the Ion criminal?

He was charged.

My 9 year old came up with that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RoundBottomBee
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2017
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The inventor of the lithium ion battery, John B. Goodenough, has developed a safer and more efficient battery.

What's in a name?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jon-Osterman
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2017
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What do you call an electrically charged seal?

A seal ion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MGreenMN
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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What does every Physics Research starts with?

A Quest_ion.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abionic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2020
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A hydrogen atom runs into the police station...

... "Please help me! My electron has been stolen!" The desk officer looks up from his computer and asks: "Are you positive?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/miauguau44
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
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What does the onion say when you knock on their door...

Come on ion

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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Where do lions get the energy they need?

from Li-ion batteries.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/phoqkhan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
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Last night, my girlfriend told me I'm very attractive and she's a lucky lady.

I told her if I'm attractive then she's a moLUCKular lady.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/joker0812
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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Proliferation
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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I dare you to read this

What tree do you wipe your hands on? A palm tree!

I heard a scary math joke, but I’m 2^^2 to tell it!

Have you heard of that new movie, β€œConstipation”? Well it doesn’t matter, it never came out.

I hurt myself when I went to a theme park in florida. When I went to the doctor, he started wrapping up my left leg, but then I pointed at my right and said β€œNo, doc, it’s dis knee.”

Last night I got mugged by 6 dwarves. Not Happy.

When Queen Elizabeth farts, everyone in the room must pretend like nothing happened. Noble Gasses don’t cause reactions, after all.

What’s the difference between a seal and a sea lion? One electron.

What happens to nitrogen when the sun rises? It becomes Daytrogen!

I called the animal shelter today and said "I've found six kittens in a suitcase in the woods." They said "Are they moving?" I replied "I don't know, but that would explain the suitcase."

Why can’t you trust Atoms? Because they make up everything!

Why do nerds wear glasses? It helps with division.

Why should you tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? You don’t wanna wake the sleeping pills.

What twitches and is found at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck!

What do you call a fat psychic? A four chin teller!

What do you call a 3 foot tall psychic on the run from the law? A small medium at large!

Help, I can’t stop reading books with female protagonists! I’m a heroine addict!

How did Sparticus react when he ate his wife for dinner? He was gladiator!

When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent!

19 and 20 got into a fight… 21.

My friend told me, β€œPeople who sell meat are disgusting!” So I said, β€œYeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!”

How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks!

What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bond… ionic bond. β€œTaken, not shared.” What did the dinosaur say to the other dinosaur? (Cut this part, but make a screeching noise)

How much does Santa’s sleigh cost? $0, it’s on the house.

If America switched from pounds to kilograms overnight there would be mass confusion.

I had a splinter once; it eventually got out of hand.

I’m going to go stand outside. If anyone asks, I’m outstanding.

Most people are shocked to find out how terrible an electrician I am!

What do mermaids wash their fins with? Tide What’s the coolest place to use the bathroom? The Lil Jon

Did you know that on average, people want three covers on their bed at all times? But that’s just a blanket statem

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kinjago
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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What did the atom say when it kept losing electrons?

I really need to keep an ion them.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2020
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Last night, my wife and I had a long argument about whose turn it is to do laundry.

Finally, I folded.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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Just purchased this shirt!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Manny6059
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2018
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I’m positive I just lost an electron...

Better keep an ion that.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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Hydrogen Chloride and Hydrochloric acid both have the same formula of HCl but are different.

Isn't that ionic?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/floorballouis
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
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Which professor was good enough to win the Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 2019?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/isaacides
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2019
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Two atoms walk into the bar. One atom says I think I lost an electron.

The other says... Are you positive?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/orgullo10
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Why can't you trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/letrollface1279
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2016
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Quite an acidic burn
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/confluencer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2015
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I’m going to tell you a joke about potassium oxide, OK?
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pumpactionbanana
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

An ion!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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Why did the electron leave the atom?

Because it had it’s ion someone else.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2019
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Want to hear a joke about sodium?

Na

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nyquill81
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2017
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molucles

Q: what did the other molecule say to the suspect molecule

A: I got my Ion on you

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
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What happened to the kid that swore?

He suffered the reper-cuss-ions

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Martyscurll5
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2019
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What did the atom say to the other atom it wanted to bond with?

I've got my ion you

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2017
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What did the electron say to his protons and neutrons that had slept in?

"Up and atom!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoeyIsUber
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2012
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So there's this atom that keeps stealing electrons...

You better keep an ion him

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/McGroon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2018
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My dad doesn't trust the batteries in his smartphone

He keeps saying they're Li-ion to him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DBrownGames
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2018
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

An ion!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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Don't trust atoms.

They make up everything.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/coffee_cow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the atom say to the other atom?

I got my ion you

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jkcru
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2018
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