I wasn't great but I did asbestos I could.
You should avoid them asbestos you can.
Me: "i don’t know"
Him "You’re the insulation." in his best peter cetera voice.
I studied asbestos I could...
Probably should have insulated my grade a little better...
Her name is Dee.
So just try asbestos you can.
Just make sure you don’t touch my art insulation.
Okay, so this has been my favorite joke for at least a couple years now.
A man drives train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving, and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder. So, he's on death row and the executioner approaches him.
"What would you like for your last meal?"
"I would like a banana please."
The executioner thinks it's weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits awhile, and gets strapped into the electric chair. When the flip the switch, nothing happens! In Bulgaria, an act of divine intervention means you get released.
A few months go by, and the train driver has been working for a new company. Well, old habits die hard, and he falls asleep again, killing 2 people this time. The court has no patience for recklessness, so he ends up on death row again. After awhile, the same executioner from last time approaches him.
"... keep reading on reddit ➡
Always going on and on about their webbed feet and soft, insulated.... Oh wait, that's male otters
WIRE you INSULATE?
So I insulated his loft.
He was dead chuffed.
"Bugger me with a stick" he said.
Now the ungrateful bastard is in hospital and refuses to speak to me.
You can't win.
My dad and I were working on a 150+ year old house recently.
We go to fill the outer walls of one room with insulation, and while cutting out holes in the tops of them we smell something funny. Rats had made a single section of one wall the dedicated toilet. Without missing a beat my dad says "That's some shitty insulation."
> Having holes drilled into house for insulation
> Standing outside with Dad watching workmen do their thing
"Is our house a church now?" I ask.
> Strange look from Dad and other workmen
"Seems like we have... hol(e)y walls!"
> Cue me standing there, grinning like I'm Jimmy Carr, Dad facepalming.