My first insulation job

I wasn't great but I did asbestos I could.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotsoElite4
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
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I caught my son chewing on electrical cords.

So I had to ground him. He's doing better currently, and conducting himself properly.

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/geek_fest
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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My six year old "What song do you sing when you are insulating?

Me: "i don’t know"

Him "You’re the insulation." in his best peter cetera voice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nonsuggestivename
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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Looks like we've got a cats-serole in the insulated casserole carrier!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lizzyelling5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2018
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Sometimes in old insulation there can be toxic chemicals.

You should avoid them asbestos you can.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DarthElevator
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
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Insulating a house is hard

So just try asbestos you can.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Warheadd
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2018
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Bill Nye has a daughter who doesn't believe in science.

Her name is Dee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArshmanR
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
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I can't believe I failed my HVAC course...

I studied asbestos I could...

Probably should have insulated my grade a little better...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsaSnap
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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The Ultimate Dad Joke: The Bulgarian Train Driver

Okay, so this has been my favorite joke for at least a couple years now.

A man drives train in Bulgaria. One day, he falls asleep driving, and runs over someone walking on the tracks. Well, his case goes to court, and he gets the death sentence for murder. So, he's on death row and the executioner approaches him.

"What would you like for your last meal?"

"I would like a banana please."

The executioner thinks it's weird, but shrugs and gives him a banana. The guy eats his banana, waits awhile, and gets strapped into the electric chair. When the flip the switch, nothing happens! In Bulgaria, an act of divine intervention means you get released.

A few months go by, and the train driver has been working for a new company. Well, old habits die hard, and he falls asleep again, killing 2 people this time. The court has no patience for recklessness, so he ends up on death row again. After awhile, the same executioner from last time approaches him.

"You again? Shit. What do you want this time?"

"Two bananas please."

The executioner shrugs and hands him two bananas. A bit weird, but whatever. There's no way he can cheat death twice! But, when they flip the switch, nothing happens again. The train driver walks a second time.

Some time passes, and the executioner is very busy. After another few months, the same dude shows up, apparently having run over 3 people with a train. Exacerbated, the executioner approaches him for the third time.

"Let me guess. Three bananas?"

"Actually yes! How did you know?"

"Top bad! This has gone on long enough. No more bananas! Today you fry."

So, the train driver gets strapped into the chair with no last meal. But, when they flip the switch, nothing happens again.

"I don't get it," says the executioner. "I didn't let you eat any bananas!"

"Its not the bananas. I'm a bad conductor."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DylanTheG999
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
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I like to make sculptures out of asbestos

Just make sure you don’t touch my art insulation.

(Art installation)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/smorgasbard
πŸ“…︎ May 11 2019
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It always felt really weird to me how male authors are obsessed with the female body.

Always going on and on about their webbed feet and soft, insulated.... Oh wait, that's male otters

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πŸ‘€︎ u/man_nowhere
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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What did the electrician Dad say to his son when the boy came home at 2:00 in the morning?

WIRE you INSULATE?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Henri_Dupont
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2017
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"Do me a favour" said my mate.

So I insulated his loft.

He was dead chuffed.

"Bugger me with a stick" he said.

Now the ungrateful bastard is in hospital and refuses to speak to me.

You can't win.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/csyrett
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2017
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Old house renovations.

My dad and I were working on a 150+ year old house recently.

We go to fill the outer walls of one room with insulation, and while cutting out holes in the tops of them we smell something funny. Rats had made a single section of one wall the dedicated toilet. Without missing a beat my dad says "That's some shitty insulation."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JackCloudie
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2015
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Today I think I became my dad.

> Having holes drilled into house for insulation

> Standing outside with Dad watching workmen do their thing

"Is our house a church now?" I ask.

> Strange look from Dad and other workmen

"Seems like we have... hol(e)y walls!"

> Cue me standing there, grinning like I'm Jimmy Carr, Dad facepalming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrCodeSmith
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2014
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My dad said he got me icecream...

He handed me this bowl of ice-cream and it ended up being hardened "Great Stuff" insulation foam covered in chocolate.

Typical Dad prank....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yetti35
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2014
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