What kind of lunch meat dances inappropriately?

Twerkey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/swg629
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2019
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I've been banned from the nudist beach for dressing inappropriately
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2018
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A list of funny, but inappropriate puns saltypun.com/wash-your-mo…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jewel531
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2018
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I believe that orchestral music is inappropriate for kids.

There’s too much sax and violins.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cigarandcreamsoda
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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I found it completely inappropriate that the priest was making fun of me during my confession...

...I should have known, since he was wearing Mock-a-sins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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What do you call an IT teacher who has an inappropriate relationship with a student?

A pdf-file

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kabocha00sama
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2021
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It's inappropriate to make a dad joke if you're not a dad

.... it's a Faux Pa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/socdist
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2020
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Borderline Inappropriate Dad Joke

This just happened...we get home from doing some Xmas shopping at a certain sporting goods store and my teenage daughter says...

"DAD! Where is your Dick's bag?"

I say "That's inappropriate" .... She looks at me curious like WTH are you talking about

I then say "We call it a condom."

She... pauses for a moment ... then "oh... MY GOD!"... and hysterical "I can't believe you just said that" type laughing ensues

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kindatrolly
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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PSA: It is inappropriate to make dad jokes if you’re not a dad.

It’s a faux pas

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πŸ‘€︎ u/racas
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2020
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Seems a little inappropriate having a strip club across the road from Mini golf in town. I’m a pretty liberal guy but if I’m having a day out with my family the last thing I want to look across the road and see is a bunch of losers playing mini golf.
πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rurgtide
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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What's the most inappropriate shaolin animal kung fu style?

Dogstyle

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afilipinoweeb
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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Have you heard the joke about the capital building?

It's a riot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbt711
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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My son asked me for something hard to write on

I don't know why he got so mad, sand is pretty hard to write on

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unknown_Gamer944
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2020
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Inappropriate, but hilarious joke from my son.

We're watching A Quiet Place, and the son falls into the silo filled with corn and starts sinking.

My 8yo cracks a joke: "Aw, now he's going to die of corncer".

I struggled to hold back my laughter before telling him it's not cool to joke about cancer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HeartsPlayer721
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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The most inappropriate dad joke I've ever made

In high school, I was in yearbook 5th period and I went down to the closet where the cameras were stored with some other people so we could bring them to the computer lab to upload the pictures.

I grabbed two cameras, slung both around my shoulders, one resting on each hip. I put a jacket on over them, and walked up to my friends. Opening the jacket and putting my hands over the cameras I said, "Look guys, I'm gonna shoot up the school."

Got some weird looks and nervous chuckles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hman7720
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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Did you know Egyptian Pharaohs considered farting to be inappropriate?

That’s why the most famous Pharaoh was named Toot-uncommon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZonieDrew
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2019
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My wife always says I am inappropriate

But I don't even know what an appropriate is, how can I be in one?!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThinkThink23
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2019
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Just met some inappropriate ruins

I mean, who razed them, anyways?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/NotJesper
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2018
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That's smart

What do you call an inappropriate fruit?

A grape-ist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/danklord_0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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My dad told me this extremely inappropriate joke at a family dinner:

Allegedly, this happened a generation or two back in my family:

After having given birth to her first child, a far out aunt of mine was asked by a younger girl if it didn't hurt to push out a baby. Her husband broke into the conversation saying "No, of course not! If I could get seven pounds into her, then of course she could push seven pounds out!"

And there we sat, the entire family, in total awkward silence...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/h4tt3n
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2018
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They say race jokes are inappropriate in 2016.

Did I ever tell you about the one between a tortoise and a hare?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bonanza86
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2016
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Say you have an acronym inappropriate for your temporal setting

It's an anachronymism

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/a2zk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2015
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I hope this wasn't too inappropriate

I was getting ready to leave the house and my daughter wanted a ride somewhere and was taking her sweet ass time. I told her, "this trains a leavin', Hurriet Upman." She's in the sixth grade, so I don't think they've taught her about the underground railroad yet, but I lost my shit. Damn, I love being a dad.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2015
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My dad's jokes can come at inappropriate times..

My mom fell down the stairs and injured her tailbone pretty badly, she calls out to my dad to have him take a look to see if there's any bruising. He takes one look, gasps, and said "holy shit! there's a crack in it!" my mom was not too happy with him!

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LynaM
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2013
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Inappropriate?

I saw a friend of mine said, "You know my uncle Charlie? Well, he's in the hospital. Some dude robbed him and he got knifed!"

I said, "Damn! That's forking terrible!"

He said, "Hey! It's too spoon to say that!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bluefoot55
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2011
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When I go...

I have no kids of my own, but my friends keep telling me I'm an incorrigible Dad Jokester. I'll probably still be making wildly inappropriate jokes on my own deathbed.

So when I pass, I just ask that a foundation be created on my behalf. Because then I will be Dad To The World!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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One of Dad's favourite inappropriate jokes

Dad: "Do you remember your first blow job?"

Me's Friend: "Yeah, why?"

Dad: "How'd it taste?"

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2014
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An inappropriate dad joke

While I was walking downtown with my dad and cousin, my cousin told my dad that a random woman was totally eye-banging him. My dad replied with "well, I have an eye-boner!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/spaceographer
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2013
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What do Mexicans think of Trumps new wall?

They'll get over it

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schaeferwafer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2017
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Bush did
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikeybthehuman
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2016
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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

6 never did trust 7. Sure, they worked closely together, but 7 always seemed at odds with him. 6 always preferred the company of 4, a perfect 10 of a duo, even though 2 kept them apart. But when it came to 7? 6 always summed it up to bad luck. Then, 6 found the truth. 6 respected 9, even though lewd jokes always seemed to be made about the two. 6 found that 3 and himself could come together and be seen as equal to 9. When 9 was removed, 6 had a very negative feeling. Some were considered prime suspects in 9’s death. 2, 3, 5, and 7. 6 knew it had to be 7. His involvement with 9 added up two well. 6 snuck into 7’s house. He looked up from the floorboards, and found himself under 7. An admittedly inappropriate position for him, but 6 saw the proof he wanted: 9’s body, half devoured. 7 was a cannibal... 7 8 9. 6 has spent the remainder of his days terrified of 7, worried that someday 7 will learn what 6 knows... And promptly solve his problem.

πŸ‘︎ 732
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlJo27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2018
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Dadjokes at the bar

I was sitting at a moderately crowded bar last night enjoying dinner when an older couple came up and sat next to me. We exchanged hellos and I continued eating my jambalaya. After a bit, the husband finally knew what he wanted to drink.

Husband: "Do you have (so and so) beer?"

Bartender: "Hang on a sec, I'll check."

As the bartender walked away, the husband held both of his arms in the air, closing his hands into fists right above his head, a la Steve Holt. After about 30 seconds, and you could tell she really didn't want to, the wife asks what he's doing.

Wife: "Honey, why are your arms in the air?"

Husband: "I'm hanging on."

The wife rolls her eyes and I laugh inappropriately loudly. He grins.

So at this point, the joke has been made. It's over. But no! He's in it for the long haul. He kept his arms in the air for a solid 3 more minutes, just so the bartender could get in on the joke. She returns with his bottle of beer.

Husband: "Can I stop hanging on now?"

Bartender groans.

Wife: "Yes, please."

I admire his dedication. And his taste in beer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/toews4pres
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2015
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What are y'all's favorite thanksgiving pun?

I want to impress someone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Yolypester
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2017
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The Rude Parrot

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to clean up the bird’s vocabulary. Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation, threw up his hands, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute. Fearing that he’d hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John’s outstretched arms and said β€œI believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior.” John was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke up, and asked very softly : β€œMay I ask what the turkey did?”


I'd like to thank my friend John for sending me this dumb joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fred1840
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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I was asked in a job interview what I made at my last job.

I said, "Mostly mistakes and inappropriate comments."

I didn't get the job Β―\_(ツ)_/Β―

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iTri810
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2018
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name pun help!!

i am the most clueless person in the world when it comes to puns, but i want a really clever one for the back of my shirt for my high school powderpuff game. my name is maddie, they won’t allow any super inappropriate innuendos, and it has to be no more than 12 characters. all suggestions are appreciated!!! thanks y’all!!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/maddbee2222
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2018
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Why my uncle is not allowed in church anymore

You know there's a lot of standing up and sitting down during services. When my uncle stood up, the woman in front of him turned around and slapped him in the face. And then she did it again. I heard he was then banned from church.

Later on I asked him what had happened and he said, "Well, when we stood up, I noticed her skirt was in a wedgie so I pulled it out. Then she slapped me. So I put it back."

And that is why my uncle is not allowed in church anymore.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lugasamom
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2014
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It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad.

It's a faux pa.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JamieLaineRose
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad.

It's a faux pa.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tricky1973
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you are not a dad .

It's a faux pa

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HahaNotSoFunnycom
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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It’s inappropriate to make a β€œdad joke” if you are not a dad.

It’s a faux pa.

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iknowthisischeesy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2019
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It's inappropriate to make a 'dad joke' if you're not a dad.

It's a faux pa.

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/darsanparmar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2019
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