Teacher: "Use the word sugar in a sentence."
Student: "The tea is too sweet."
Teacher: "Where is sugar in the sentence?"
Student: "In the tea!!"
Teacher: Use the word oath in a sentence
Student: Mike Tyson eaths oaths for breakfasth every morning
Edit: made this up today, have merthy on my thoul
A group in Denmark is trying to convince the government to use old Legos to re-pave their highways...
...unfortunately, they've been running into a lot of road blocks.
What kind of batteries do they use in Canada?
(OC) Why do magicians not use horses in their acts?
Because they aren’t just difficult, they are neigh impossible!
Teacher: Use the word ‘intermittent’ in a sentence.
I said: While I was camping it began to rain hard so I ran intermittent.
What time do they use in space?
What do anti-police protesters use to move around in New York City?
A cab
(It came to mind and I have no wish for it to be political)
An independent study showed that the average household in America uses 3.14 pumpkins between Halloween and thanksgiving
No wonder they call it pumpkin pi!!!!
What do you tell a Jedi-in-training that struggles to use chopsticks at a Chinese buffet?
What does a Rastafarian use to keep his beer cool in the hot tub?
Do you use toilet seat liners in public restrooms?
Or do you not give a crap
If your vehicle breaks down in California, make sure your mechanic uses the state flag to check your oil ...
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis"
First child born in a couple of weeks so I thought to give it the good ol try. Sometimes when I’m down I go to the mall and use the elevator.
So it can lift me up and make my day better.
I tried to OC.
I use Ironman sounds in my phones event calander for important stuff.
Even if you use fresh water in a water gun...
It's still assault water.
Why do they always use thieves as the high speed units in RPGs?
Because they're so dodgy.
What type of currency do aliens use in outer space?
I wanted to make a post with a joke about musical notes. I first attempted to use Do or Mi, but in the end I went with
Scientists have discovered the trick STIs use to spread in Alabama
Mum-to-sis
If this isn't original then I seriously spent a whole 20 mins on nothing
What does Pixar use in their printers?
The school made the use of "bullet points" illegal because it incited violence in the classroom, and I must admit I couldn't have cared less. That's all changed now, though.
The bus driver isn't allowed to drive my kids anymore because we live on a dead end street.
Why does NASA give astronauts pencils to use in space?
Because they've got the Write Stuff.
My friend saw I was upset the other day and he said "It could be worse. You could be an irrigated hole in the ground surrounded by brick work that people use to get water"
It didn't help, but I knew he meant well
I finally got to cash in on a joke today that I’ve been looking for a reason to use for years
Background: My family was at the lake today. The lake was a little choppy today so when we went on the boat we hit one really big wave where the front end of the boat came crashing down hard. My nephew (7) just happened to be sitting on a cup holder and it hurt his butt when we landed.
We got back to the house and my nephew said...
Nephew: my butt hurts. I think its broken.
Me: did I ever tell you about the time I broke my butt?
Nephew: no. Is it still broken?
Me: yeah. There’s a big crack in it still.
He didn’t get it. But all the other adults laughed/rolled their eyes. Stupid joke I know, but I don’t care.
Here’s a plastic fork to keep in your car, I didn’t use it.
Original joke time! The apples I had to remove the peals from all appeared in twos, matched for use together.
Why can't you use a wooden spoon in a Teflon pan?
Because its non stick.
Source: my actual Dad.
How do you cut the ocean in half?... you use a sea saw
It is weird to see signs that say "In case of fire, don't use elevator". Everyone knows water is better to put on fires than an elevator.
I taught my four year old son how to use the word abundance in a sentence.
He said "thanks Dad, that really means a lot".
They are discussing bringing in fruit to use against the protesters!
Next wave of enforcement will be Apricops
Do they use cell phones in prison?
They finally invented a golf ball that uses GPS signal to locate the hole, and then roll in.
Just dont put it your back pocket.
The other dads in my Zoom meeting today may have been a bit jealous. I mentioned how my adolescent daughter has been so generous and nice during quarantine while I use the family computer for work, instead of her wasting time all day, watching YouTube. I have to say,
I'm glad to have the no-vid kind teen.
What do you use to put a bolt in someones back?
Once, there was an elderly Italian who taught others to use mint in their cooking.
What will newborn babies become if the Goverment use them in a secret military project?
They wil be some fine ass Infantry
I cannot and will not ever use a plastic knife in any situation
(OC) Why do magicians not use horses in their acts?
Because they aren’t just difficult, they are neigh impossible!
When you're in California, make sure your mechanic uses a state flag to check your oil.
Then you'll get a "Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis."
Edit: Thanks for the Platinum stranger! Wow!
What currency do astronauts use in space?
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