Ik Puns

He speaks frankly

Yeah it’s a big waist of space

Ik ik it’s not a good joke I only give it 3 stars

Bird 1: what are we doing

Bird 2: we robin

Ik delivery couldve been better but leave me be best my hungover ass can do rn

Just randomly thought of this, hope it's good and at least moderately original (ik there's a lot of pear puns in general)

Me: Hey mate wood you mind if I ask a question

My friend: sure, axe your question

Me: I’m making an account on timber (tinder) can you help me?

My friend: sure just put you’re username etc. (you know the basic stuff) and then if you ever get a new phone you could just log in

Me: sweet

Ik this is bad I never make puns also I don’t mind criticism

What do you call a closted bottom

A substrate

Its horrible ik

Ik-yeeehaw.

so my mothers friend andy is helping her install a new TV, and this string of puns resulted:

ME: thanks for helping out around here, nice to have an ANDY-man

ANDY: oh that was a good one

BROTHER: i Don't know, i thought the delivery was kinda WOODEN

ME: wow, thanks for HAMMERING that home, pesonally i think i NAILED it, so SCREW you

BROTHER: will you just CONTRACT aids already (edgy ik)

ME: oh come on, i don't think you're being very CONSTRUCTIVE

BROTHER: i'm sorry, feeling a little PLASTERED right now.

Both of us: burst out laughing

http://imgur.com/QcEMLQv

http://imgur.com/K5GgIkY