Her: Why are you talking to yourself?

Me: Sometimes I need expert advice.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
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4 year old daughter came over to me with her shoes in her hands and said "Daddy, can you put these on?..."

Like any good dad, I said "Of course I can sweety" before stuffing my toes into them.

After she said "NOOOOOOO DAAAAAADDY! On my feet!" I said "well why didn't you say so in the first place?"

[Helped her stuff her feet in]

"Daddy" she asked, "Can you pull on the tongue?"

......ike dthis?

πŸ‘︎ 881
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robinson217
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2016
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Dad jokes galore: Candy company settles with mid-Missouri man over underfilled boxes

A settlement has been reached in one of the sweetest lawsuits ever to be filed in federal court, but details of the payday are under wrappers.

Daryl White Jr. of Belle, Missouri, didn’t sugar coat his anger about paying a dollar apiece for boxes of Mike and Ikes and Hot Tamales that were only two-thirds full. Determined not to be a sucker, he hired counsel and paid the U.S. District Court Western District of Missouri a $400 filing fee to sue Just Born Inc., the candymaker’s parent company, for alleged deceptive advertising and unjust enrichment.

SOURCE

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/missourijake
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
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What's the name of the nervous blind man?

Ike Antsy

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimmpony
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2015
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