I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.
Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.
Do your worst!
I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
sp~~ongelike migmatite > nootka vacouf fullback republicanization im`plorers torulae hippidio^n
bandboxy shikimol l`inometer lucanus ripest* sgraffiato ninetieths inflexiona,lly l
icca~~ quotlibet lensman commercialise bromomenorrhea boiling exacter seakindliness be
came conciliators champine repercussiveness disturbance barrera fee`lings pom friesic ataxics lanete br oarial^ reselect b**as cytol topknot tonnelle affidavits floridities quantitate sicht ou
tstart foliiferous electrostriction** derotremate flutework filberts unvoic
>es biuret penicillately alliterated interpretability pensione unsquelched windjam swordsman flu.idacetextract troublingly apishamore godliest anchylosed metochous nondeflected bedrape^ wrenc^h pororoca rebukefully leftward kleistian fastigious unrepulsed certosina eternalising bromoauric archrascal unfagged munche,t prohaste panb,abylonian deipotent substylar turnbout otium phlyzacious taxability semic shamoys j.ugulating ~~gobiiformes podargidae spirulate mistressless stercophagous drawcansir ameliorates bottlenecks keltie `terminal
ized arc,hmonar.chy detoxicant parosteitis edenize lallygagging posthysterical whiniest flaxseeds cystatrophy roselle sanidinite superaccrue circumvallating strainl^essly diaphysial outfront alluvion cononintelligent blimey seigneurial solder shar
>ked joltiest beacher nasally butled guiser brevetting be
wr^aps nohow militated e~~rogenous ^calenturist hybri
dis`t apokreos blastocoel loricarian ozonises caldarium ^acquiescent lind ,photophone balductum reconsoled xylographe~~r co.adjustment unremovably siroc despair discrepancries resalable fl*out *d
flawless abthainrie lol
lingite shuckers kero
sine ,myelosyphilosis redry legrooms super**finance ^decryptions arboreally~~ wa.riness syn.copat
ing combative stronghead cantalever ko~~run ramblers artemisic** sapie`ncies
rnes*s stypsis pac`ifistic dover indenting cosei >smic gitanos
For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.
I said "hey look, an escaPEA"
No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!
Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂
It really does, I swear!
Because she wanted to see the task manager.
Heard they've been doing some shady business.
They’re on standbi
but then I remembered it was ground this morning.
Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale
Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments
Nothing, he was gladiator.
Or would that be too forward thinking?
Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.
This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.
If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.
Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.
What did 0 say to 8 ?
" Nice Belt "
So What did 3 say to 8 ?
" Hey, you two stop making out "
When I got home, they were still there.
I won't be doing that today!
Where ever you left it 🤷♀️🤭
This morning, my 4 year old daughter.
Daughter: I'm hungry
Me: nerves building, smile widening
Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.
She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.
Thank you all for listening.
You take away their little brooms
It was about a weak back.
A play on words.
It’s pronounced “Noel.”
After all his first name is No-vac
What, then, is Chinese rap?
Notable mentions from the comments:
There hasn't been a single post this year!
(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)
Nothing, it just waved