SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anywhereiroa
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leckzsluthor
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

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isotimic chenopodiaceae tidies simpula unnectareous crabbiest hyalographer

sp~~ongelike migmatite > nootka vacouf fullback republicanization im`plorers torulae hippidio^n

bandboxy shikimol l`inometer lucanus ripest* sgraffiato ninetieths inflexiona,lly l

icca~~ quotlibet lensman commercialise bromomenorrhea boiling exacter seakindliness be

came conciliators champine repercussiveness disturbance barrera fee`lings pom friesic ataxics lanete br oarial^ reselect b**as cytol topknot tonnelle affidavits floridities quantitate sicht ou

tstart foliiferous electrostriction** derotremate flutework filberts unvoic >es biuret penicillately alliterated interpretability pensione unsquelched windjam swordsman flu.idacetextract troublingly apishamore godliest anchylosed metochous nondeflected bedrape^ wrenc^h pororoca rebukefully leftward kleistian fastigious unrepulsed certosina eternalising bromoauric archrascal unfagged munche,t prohaste panb,abylonian deipotent substylar turnbout otium phlyzacious taxability semic shamoys j.ugulating ~~gobiiformes podargidae spirulate mistressless stercophagous drawcansir ameliorates bottlenecks keltie `terminalized arc,hmonar.chy detoxicant parosteitis edenize lallygagging posthysterical whiniest flaxseeds cystatrophy roselle sanidinite superaccrue circumvallating strainl^essly diaphysial outfront alluvion cononintelligent blimey seigneurial solder shar >ked joltiest beacher nasally butled guiser brevetting be

wr^aps nohow militated e~~rogenous ^calenturist hybri

dis`t apokreos blastocoel loricarian ozonises caldarium ^acquiescent lind ,photophone balductum reconsoled xylographe~~r co.adjustment unremovably siroc despair discrepancries resalable fl*out *d

oubtingnessflawless abthainrie lol

lingite shuckers kerosine ,myelosyphilosis redry legrooms super**finance ^decryptions arboreally~~ wa.riness syn.copat

ing combative stronghead cantalever ko~~run ramblers artemisic** sapie`ncies

subaff,luence oversou

rnes*s stypsis pac`ifistic dover indenting cosei >smic gitanos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stroke_bot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2019
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eoussama
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So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
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What is the scariest tree?

BamBOO!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
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I was almost upset that my coffee tasted like dirt today

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scarf_spheal
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Geddit? No? Only me?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampy311
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paulie_Felice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07
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E or ß?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amazekam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03
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Which actor drives the least?

Christopher Walken

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TR1771N
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What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rj104
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15
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Pun intended.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharmaji1301
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No spoilers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onfour
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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Should we create an English word for the 'day after tomorrow'?

Or would that be too forward thinking?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/afunkysquirrel
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
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Covid problems
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theincrediblebou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
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These aren't dad jokes...

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lance986
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Spi__
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fast_Echidna_8520
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What did 0 say to 8 ?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/designjeevan
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I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want any kids.

When I got home, they were still there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/demotrek
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I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.

I won't be doing that today!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djcarves
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For Gotham
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreeHugsXD
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The Ancient Romans II
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2021
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I'd like to dedicate this joke to my wisdom teeth.

[Removed]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThoughtPumP
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Where do you find a cow with no legs?

Where ever you left it πŸ€·β€β™€οΈπŸ€­

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kitkatty0309
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I did it, I finally did it. After 4 years and 92 days I went from being a father, to a dad.

This morning, my 4 year old daughter.

Daughter: I'm hungry

Me: nerves building, smile widening

Me: Hi hungry, I'm dad.

She had no idea what was going on but I finally did it.

Thank you all for listening.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sk2ec
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01
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It this sub dead?

There hasn't been a post all year!

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Naan-negotiable
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sjmaeff
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How do you stop Canadian bacon from curling in your frying pan?

You take away their little brooms

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Majorpain2006
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School Was Clothed
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kennydoe
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Remember that joke I told you about the chiropractor?

It was about a weak back.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tanglwyst
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My ten-year-old daughter came up with this at dinner tonight: What do you get if put a copy of Macbeth on top of a dictionary?

A play on words.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ah1887
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20
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Letting loose with these puns
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Couch potato
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Baka!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ridi86
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09
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My name is ABCDEFGHIJKMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

It’s pronounced β€œNoel.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/beef_fried_rice
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2021
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All dad jokes are bad and here’s why

Why

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LordCinko
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concrete πŸ—Ώ
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fast_Echidna_8520
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Why are people so surprised and angry about Djokovic being an anti-vaxxer?

After all his first name is No-vac

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hangryman23
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
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If Korean pop is shortened to Kpop and Korean Drama is Kdrama...

What, then, is Chinese rap?

Edit:

Notable mentions from the comments:

  • Spanish/Swedish/Swiss/Serbian hits

  • French/Finnish art

  • Country/Canadian rap

  • Chinese/Country/Canadian rock

  • Turkish/Tunisian/Taiwanese rap

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That’s Michelle
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Knowledgeable man
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πŸ‘€︎ u/elisioth4739
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16
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Is this sub still active?

There hasn't been a single post this year!

(Happy 2022 from New Zealand)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DonStimpo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2021
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What did the ocean say to the beach?

Nothing, it just waved

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is Isn't
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