Waiter: I see you glass is empty, would you like another one?
Dad: Why would I want two empty glasses?
Why was the door glass?
Because the door was ajar
Why do computers wear glasses?
To improve their web-sight
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed...
Why do some developers need glasses?
I put my root beer in a square glass
Do you think glass coffins will become popular?
Wife dropped a jar of pickles upon opening the fridge; glass and pickle juice went all over the kitchen floor.
My 10 year old son: Don't worry, it's not a big dill.
My wife while looking at me: -.-
Why did the pony ask for a glass of water?
Because he felt like he was a little horse.
My grandma is in her 90’s and she still doesn’t need glasses.
She just drinks straight out of the bottle.
How did the boy whose glasses were stolen find them?
My wife just threw out our computer, shattering all the glass.
I guess she doesn’t like windows.
My father quietly retired from his job as an eye glass manufacturer yesterday.
He didn’t want to make a spectacle.
My bedroom now has a stained glass window....
A pigeon just flew right into it.
Told my daughter to wear glasses during math.
Santa has three glasses of water every day...
I trained my dog to bring me a glass of red wine.
You could say I have an hour glass figure
It takes me an hour to figure out where my glasses are!
My son told me he can drink a whole glass a whiskey straight.
Personally, I think it's neat.
Why did i murder the woman who served me a glass of wine?
Because i wanted tequila.
Why do people find glasses so attractive?
Because people look good with them!
Why did the cell phone have to wear glasses?
Because it lost its contacts
Went to go pick my glasses up from SpecSavers today and you’ll never guess who I bumped into!
Why do piano players wear glasses?
Quasimodo walks into a bar and asks for a glass of whiskey.
Bells alright? Asks the barman.
None of your fucking business he replies.
Are you required to wear a face mask and wear glasses?
You may be eligible for condensation.
I poured root beer in a square glass, now I have only beer
My girlfriend says she can’t see too well without her glasses.
So I asked her what numbers she could see.
Glass coffins - will they gain popularity?
To the person who stole my glasses, I will find you.
My kid just told me I looked different with my glasses on
I thought that was the whole point of them.
Son: Dad what are you going to do today? Dad: Well first I'm going to get a pair of glasses. Son: And after that?
Told my wife I was going with the kids to get glasses. She asked what we'll be doing afterward.
Lately my family have been telling me I need new glasses
But I really don't see the problem
Last night, there was such an amazing stand-up comedian at the party that we decided to raise our glasses filled with alcohol to praise him.
Will glass coffins become popular?
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed?
Do you wear glasses and a mask?
You may be entitled to condensation.
Has COVID-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
If so, you may be entitled to condensation.
Why do python developers wear glasses?
Will glass coffins be a success?
To the person who stole my spectacles. I will find you.
Will glass coffins be a successful business?
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