To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will hunt you down.

You have my word.

(My dad put wrote this on the fridge, pls don't kill)

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📅︎ Jan 17 2020
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(Me reading to my five-year-old) The leopard slug eats dead plants and fungi, but also hunts other slugs.

(Five-year-old) I'm a fun guy, so they would eat me.

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📅︎ Apr 30 2020
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What did the professor say when his students wanted to hunt male deer before the first day of class?

"Don't get the hart before the course!"

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📅︎ Dec 06 2019
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I don't always hunt deer but when I do, I use dynamite.

That way I get more bang for my buck.

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📅︎ Oct 26 2019
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Im glad i dont have to hunt for my food.

I don't even know where sandwiches live.

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👤︎ u/Killzent
📅︎ Jul 10 2018
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How do killer whales hunt?

With a well orcastrated attack

👍︎ 362
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📅︎ Nov 28 2017
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Would you hunt a sick bird in America?

I wouldn't. It's ill-eagle.

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📅︎ Mar 17 2019
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Two hunters went out to hunt grizzly. As they drove up the mountain road, they saw a sign that said "Bear Left"...

...so they went home.

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👤︎ u/norrisrw
📅︎ Jun 19 2019
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Daughter today: "Dad, can we do an Easter-egg hunt tomorrow?"

Me: "Sure! You can do an Easter-egg hunt every single day"

^^^You ^^^probably ^^^won't ^^^find ^^^any ^^^though.

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👤︎ u/xbtdev
📅︎ Mar 26 2016
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World of Warcraft introduced a scavenger hunt to find a secret item that involved hundreds if not thousands of people in a Discord spending days and days scouring the entire world for little clues.

The secret reward is called Waist of Time.

Well played, Blizzard, well played.

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📅︎ Aug 26 2018
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For the nature lovers. I hunt because... (x-post /r/shrooms) amazon.com/dp/B078MW3VPF/
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👤︎ u/PoesKat
📅︎ Dec 31 2017
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How do Native American Ghosts hunt Buffalo?

They spirit.

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👤︎ u/Quolley
📅︎ Sep 20 2016
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They told me I was too old to hunt for Easter eggs, but the jokes on them!

I prefer mine poached

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👤︎ u/NiacTD
📅︎ Apr 14 2017
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A Dad-Joke Based Puzzle in this Year's MIT Mystery Hunt

http://www.mit.edu/~puzzle/2019/puzzle/joke_o_lantern.html

If you're completely lost, click "SOLUTION" in the upper right, but it's worth trying to solve it yourself first.

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👤︎ u/dspeyer
📅︎ Jan 25 2019
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What did the treasure hunt organizer say when people couldn't find the impressionist painter he'd hidden?

That wasn't very cache Monet of you.

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👤︎ u/Weirfish
📅︎ Jan 28 2019
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I read the sign at the park advertising a huge easter egg hunt . . . .

My wife says "Well it's not going to be hard to find a huge easter egg." My wife has officially become a dad.

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📅︎ Mar 14 2018
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Did you know it's legal to hunt albino deer?

The law says it's fair game.

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👤︎ u/clifwith1f
📅︎ May 30 2018
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How are you guys enjoying "the hunt for red September?"

Oops wrong sub.

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📅︎ May 28 2017
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How do the Amish hunt deer?

They sneak up on it and build a barn around it.

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👤︎ u/bucktuck
📅︎ Jun 16 2017
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My wife's comment when the commercial for Expedition Unknown: Hunt for the Yeti came on...."has he looked at his stupid face?" To which I replied:

"Not Yeti."

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📅︎ Oct 03 2016
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Why is it bad to hunt bald eagles?

Cause its il-eagle

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📅︎ Nov 28 2014
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Why can't a person hunt bald eagles in the US?

Because it's illeagle

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👤︎ u/stwicksy
📅︎ Mar 27 2016
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