Yep, my belly dunlaps over my belt.
Why couldn't they ring the jinge bells this holiday season?
There was noel
I keep hearing everyone say they are buying their kids a toy yoda.
Can you call me a cab?
You're a cab!
http://m.imgur.com/diy3i2m
Be courteous to the DeDutch waitstaff (and to yourself) this holiday season by leaving your dads at home before dining at DeDutch. Following is just a small sample of jokes that your dad WILL make after ordering his DeBratwurst from DeLunch menu on his DeClub card.
- I have to go to DeWashroom.
- When the waitress asks how the food is, the only responses will be either "DeLightful", or "DeLicious".
- Pass DeSalt.
- Make sure to leave a good Detip for the DeService!
- You've got DeHollandaise sauce on your DeShirt!
The waitstaff will pretend to laugh every time. But secretly they die inside a little every time.
It's really quite DeSpicable.
When I was a baby, my Mom gave me some cider to drink during the holiday season. After doing this she was told that giving a baby cider that wasn't pasteurized could be dangerous. Panicking she called my Grandfather:
Mom: Dad how do I know if the cider is pasteurized?
Grandfather: Ok hold up the bottle of cider.
Mom: Holds up bottle of cider in front of face
Grandfather: Well it's "past your eyes" now!
