My son and I went to a new Vietnamese restaurant that offers herbed potato sticks served with a bowl of noodle soup. When they brought our order, I saidβ¦
"Look, thyme fries when youβre having pho!"
π︎ 8
π
︎ Aug 14 2019
Herb puns
Today my chef asked me to grab her some spices. I yelled from outside " I'm cumin, just give me some thyme "
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 19 2019
For you herbs
π︎ 48
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
I heard herb gardens grow better with classic rock in the background, so I played a Styx album on repeat.
Now I've got Too Much Thyme on My Hands.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Feb 08 2021
My wife just complained that I've been in the garden all day tending to the herbs.
Apparently I have way too much thyme on my hands.
π︎ 23
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
My wife tested my knowledge of common household herbs, and Iβm happy to say I got 4 out of 5 right.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Jan 29 2021
I thought I heard the Bee Gees singing in my herb garden...
But it was just the chives talkin'
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 17 2021
I made a steak with herbs
But it was a waste of thyme
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
I'm trying to make herb roasted chicken for dinner and just ran out of one of the ingredients...
I don't have thyme for this
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 10 2021
What did Ronald Reaganβs wife say when he asked her if she wanted a new herb garden?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 09 2021
I told my wife Iβm going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.
She said, βWhere would you find the time?β
I said, βEasy. Right next to the sage.β
π︎ 35
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
I just got a letter from a herb and spice company demanding the $100 I owe them.
If I don't pay them within a week, they have threatened to send the bay leafs around.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 18 2020
My best friend is allergic to certain herbs.
I'm afraid it's just a matter of thyme...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 12 2021
My wife just threw away my favourite herb.
She's such a Thyme waster
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jun 03 2020
A friend of mine just died from eating too many herbs
π︎ 50
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
What's a postmans favourite herb?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
When do you add herbs to your dish?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 08 2020
What do you call the King of herbs?
π︎ 29
π
︎ Nov 22 2020
She handed me a jar and said, "This herb goes well with pork, beef, duck and chicken recipes, and fatty meats in particular."
I looked at the label and thought, "That is some sage advice."
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
I was at my parents house over the weekend. As a joke, I swapped all the labels around on their herbs and spices.
They havenβt noticed yet... but the thyme is cumin.
π︎ 75
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
What did the herb farmer say when he was running behind schedule?
Weβre in a thyme crunch
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 23 2020
Whenever I cook, I'm always left with excess herbs.
Guess I just have great Thyme management.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 11 2020
I served a female deer with herbs to my family at a recent dinner party.
Calling it "Spit-Roasted Dill Doe" was maybe a little unwise
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
After many years of procrastination I have finally finished my book on common herbs...
π︎ 59
π
︎ Aug 02 2020
Why did the kid rub herbs on his scraped knee?
Because his Dad told him thyme heals all wounds.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
After many years of designing, the government has released a new type of currency made out of herbs.
They spent a lot of thyme on it, but now it's mint.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
My friend Herb was kidnapped!
I just received a ransom call from a unrecognized number asking if I want to get Herb alive
π︎ 2
π
︎ Sep 21 2020
the other night, my dad taught me his famous stew recipe. it went great, the only issue we had was with the herbs i wanted to use. he told me βyouβre wrong about the parsley...
but thatβs okay because youβre right on thymeβ
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
I tried to make a belt out of Italian herbs, but it didnβt work
It was just a waist of thyme
π︎ 20
π
︎ Aug 22 2020
My brother and I were just reminiscing about the herb garden our family had when we were kids.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
What do you call moving herbs?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jun 01 2020
My fresh herbs will go bad soon
I want to make pesto but Iβm running out of thyme.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 01 2020
I'm so damn tired of these daily repetitive boring Herb jokes. Honestly..
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jul 12 2020
Anyone else noticing a recent influx of herb related jokes?
It is that thyme of year, I suppose.
π︎ 39
π
︎ Jun 04 2020
I want to share some information on cultivating herbs.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 05 2020
Whst did the herb gardener say to the sloppy chef?
Please, don't waste my thyme!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 05 2020
A friend suggested I added herbs to my soup.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jun 25 2020
I poisoned my enemies herbs.
Guess it was his thyme to go.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jul 19 2020
I asked a friend to help me weed my herb garden today.
He declined, well, it was probably the wrong thyme.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
UPS says my book on evergreen herbs from the mint family lamiaceae is going to be delivered tomorrow by end of day.
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 03 2020
My dad invented a belt made of herbs that takes you 5 minutes into the future.
It took 6 minutes to put on. It was a waist of thyme
π︎ 21
π
︎ May 18 2020
I wanted to plant every herb in my garden.
But I just don't have the thyme.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 03 2020
I didnβt pay attention to what herb I bought
Turns out it was a big dill. Iβm allergic.
π︎ 5
π
︎ May 27 2020
I accidentally killed off my herb garden twice. As I replanted it yet again I thought to myself...
"Third thyme's a charm."
--
Based on a true story. Wife's eyeroll suggested this 100% belonged here.
π︎ 14
π
︎ May 29 2020
I'd like to experiment with more herbs and spices
But I just haven't got thyme
π︎ 17
π
︎ Apr 25 2020
I told my wife I was going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order. She said "Where would you find the time ?"
I said, "Easy, right next to the sage"
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jul 22 2020
I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 29 2020
I told my wife, βIβm going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.β
She said, βWhere would you find the time?β
I said, βThat should be easy. Next to the sage.β
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Dec 07 2018
My Dad grows herbs as a hobby.
He has way too much Thyme on his hands.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 06 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
