Hemorrhoid Puns

A list of puns related to "Hemorrhoid"

I told a joke about hemorrhoids in a hospital the other day.

It didn't sit well with some of the patients.

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👤︎ u/Equivalent_Night5900
📅︎ Feb 25 2021
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Why did doctors name them hemorrhoids?

Asteroid was taken.

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👤︎ u/Lawdogg
📅︎ Jan 26 2021
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My Buddy Told me his Hemorrhoids Burst Today

“What a pain in the ass.”, I replied.

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👤︎ u/SchpeederMan
📅︎ Feb 06 2021
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Did you hear about the pro wrestler who came up with a method to remove hemorrhoids by hammering them?

He called it the Pile Driver.

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Nov 25 2020
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Why is a hemorrhoid called a hemorrhoid?

Because asphalt was taken

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👤︎ u/shdchko
📅︎ Sep 25 2020
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Instead of medicine, my hippie girlfriend cured her hemorrhoid using only the "power of positive suggestion."

"I shit you knot."

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👤︎ u/PotBuzz
📅︎ Sep 29 2020
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A large hemorrhoid

Should he called an assteroid.

and I will die on this hill.

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👤︎ u/JoeyRobot
📅︎ Feb 14 2020
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Ask me how my hemorrhoids are!

They’re swell!

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👤︎ u/coolhandhutch
📅︎ Jan 11 2020
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Why do they call a hemorrhoid a hemorrhoid?

Because asphalt was taken. (ass fault)

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👤︎ u/shdchko
📅︎ Nov 22 2019
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The reason they call them hemorrhoids is probably because asteroids were already taken.
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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ May 08 2018
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Having to wipe with a hemorrhoid is a pain in the ass.
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👤︎ u/Khacks
📅︎ Mar 26 2018
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Did you hear the one about the Rastafarian who had hemorrhoids?

He had mad bumbum clots.

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👤︎ u/carks
📅︎ Mar 14 2018
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My dad went out to pick up my hemorrhoid medication yesterday

When he came back, he put it on the table and texted me, "Your meds are here. I hope it rectifies your problem."

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👤︎ u/DoctorDash
📅︎ Mar 27 2015
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hemorrhoids

Doctor: This is the best medicine to treat hemorrhoids. Dad: Well, I don't think they deserve a treat

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👤︎ u/krewdtv
📅︎ Nov 11 2014
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Hemorrhoids

They can be a real pain in the ass.

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👤︎ u/Shaaaaaaaun
📅︎ Oct 06 2020
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Why are they called hemorrhoids?

Shouldn't they be called Asteroids?

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👤︎ u/dweebken
📅︎ Dec 14 2019
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Ask me how my hemorrhoids are.

They're swell.

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👤︎ u/coolhandhutch
📅︎ Jun 02 2016
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