Helle Puns

So they can Hyde from the Police!

Pray to ELOhim.

Every time I ask her to leave she just says “namaste.”

Nine inch nails.

but then Helsinki

You boil the hell out of it.
Ok, Imma head out...

Sinnamon

Guess that's why they call it paradice

Beauty is in the eye of the beeholder

You take away her blanket

Eliphino...

Shit..l meant to post this somewhere else.

The fire department

When I got there, I took out my little brown bottle along with a teaspoon and laid them both onto the counter. The Pharmacist came over smiled and asked if he could help me. I said, “Yes! Could you please taste this for me?” Being I’m a Senior Citizen, I guess the Pharmacist just went along with me. He picked up the spoon and put a tiny bit of the liquid on his tongue and swilled it around. Then with a stomach-churning look on his face he spit it out on the floor and began coughing, gagging and turning green. When he finally was finished, I looked him right in the eye asked, “Now, does that taste sweet to you?” The Pharmacist, shaking his head back and forth with a venomous look in his eyes yelled, “HELL NO!!!” So I said, “Oh thank God! That’s such a relief! My Doctor told me to have a Pharmacist test my Urine for sugar!”

The farmer's wife said "300 times, isn't that wonderful, dear? Maybe you should watch him. Maybe he'll show you how..." The farmer replied "Yeah, he's a hell of a bull, but it wasn't all with the same cow."

I went to an amusement park yesterday based on the Underworld. I had a hell of a time.

So this is a true story, and maybe I’ll go to hell for telling it, but I expect I’ll meet the actual perpetrator there:

At baseball practice last night, a coach asked if I’d seen the rabbit — the dead one. What? He had me look by a fence where there wasn’t a dead bunny, but HALF of one: Literally (and eerily) just the bottom half, with the top completely missing. Still shuddering over this.

Properly disposed of it and was feeling unsettled, but sprung right back to true dad form when he jokingly accused me of harming the rabbit. I told him that he knew it couldn’t have been me — I’ve never been one to split hares

I said what, I thought we were having pasta XD She replies, yeah but we need to boil the hell out of the water...

It was an unexpected Journey.

I said, “Where the hell am I going to find 5 people without any problems?”

They're dammed to hell.

There's no whey in hell.

But he was told he doesn't have a shot in hell.

Aren’t men allowed to laugh?

He said: "I heaven't"

The man behind counter says: what the hell is this?

To which the second man says: he's new to Tea

You boil the hell out of it

You boil the hell out of it

You boil the hell out of it!