Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Oct 25 2020
I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted.
The fifth one was dead sirius.
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
Cold Hearted [oc]
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 25 2020
What a COLD-hearted woman...
π︎ 279
π
︎ Feb 19 2019
Light-hearted dad joke for a difficult time
My grandmother is in her last days and sleeps most of the day.
My uncle: I'm going to go in and talk to her for little while, do you think that'll bother her?
My dad: I think she'll lose sleep over it!
π︎ 4
π
︎ Apr 28 2019
To kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through it's heart.
Sounds easy, but the process is painstaking .
π︎ 16k
π
︎ Nov 02 2020
How do you win the heart of a female Farmer?
π︎ 221
π
︎ Jan 03 2021
Doctor said Iβm at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
π︎ 66
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
Ainβt nothing but a heart break
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Sep 18 2020
I have the eye of a tiger, the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the zoo
π︎ 40
π
︎ Jan 17 2021
"I love you from my heart to-ma-toes"
π︎ 598
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
How did a heart end up in jail?
There was a cardiac arrest
π︎ 24
π
︎ Jan 15 2021
Heart transplant is a really heart touching surgery
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 23 2020
There was a post about a teen holding his own heart in his hands after a heart transplant, I thought these comments belonged here
π︎ 44
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
I would like to see a heart attack
π︎ 37
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
What vegetable lives in your heart?
π︎ 24
π
︎ Nov 17 2020
A guy told me the size of my heart matters more than my physical size.
Good thing I went to the cardiologist before the gym.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
My girlfriend that I loved with all my heart left me while I was in the bathroom screaming with constipation.
It was the hardest dump I ever took.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
During an autopsy, why are the heart, kidneys, liver and lungs arranged alphabetically?
π︎ 447
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
Dad has a heart attack
Dad:has a heart attack
Dad:Call me an ambulance...
Son: uhhh... You're an ambulance....
Dad:....
Dad: That's my boy...dead
π︎ 163
π
︎ Aug 18 2020
Did you know you can actually listen to the blood in your veins?
You just have to listen varicosely
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Nov 09 2020
Which kidney to take?
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Oct 05 2020
COVID-19 can cause damage to the brain, heart, and lungs.
Luckily for Trump, he just needs to worry about lung damage.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
You want to know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
This year..
π︎ 60
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
While people are talking about the presidential election, I don't talk immediately, because...
I'm Biden my time, until I can play my Trump card.
π︎ 50
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
My horoscope said my heart would be broken in 12 years time.
So I bought a puppy to cheer myself up !
π︎ 48
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
I put original copies of "The Fall of the House of Usher", "The Murders in the Rue Morgue", "The Pit and the Pendulum" and "The Tell-Tale Heart" on credit hoping to pay them off slowly. Unfortunately, I couldn't make all payments...
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
My dad is going through heart failure, and the first text that I get from him after sending him a card says:
βNo more corny jokes, now just corn-orary jokesβ
Iβm glad he still has his sense of humor through these tough times
π︎ 140
π
︎ May 31 2020
My mate Gav sadly passed away this morning. Doctors say it was severe heart burn.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
I listened to Queen albums for 12 hours in a row, and now I feel a little sick.
It must be the high Mercury content.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Dec 01 2019
He gets a mini heart-attack when the Australian waiter says "Check, Mate"
π︎ 23
π
︎ May 11 2020
I found the first four Harry Potter books to be quite light hearted.
But the fifth oneβ dead Sirius.
π︎ 44
π
︎ Jul 26 2020
I found the first four books in the Harry Potter series to be quite light hearted.
The fifth was dead Sirius.
π︎ 223
π
︎ Apr 28 2019
My granddad has the heart of a lion
and a lifetime ban from London zoo.
π︎ 15
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
My dad has a heart of a lion!
And a lifetime ban from the zoo
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jan 11 2021
My Grandfather has the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the zoo
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Apr 12 2020
The only way to kill a French vampire is to slowly drive a baguette through its heart.
The process is a little painstaking.
π︎ 91
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
My grandfather had the heart of a lion
And a permanent ban from the nearby zoo
π︎ 45
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
I have the eye of a tiger and the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the zoo
π︎ 216
π
︎ Jul 22 2020
My grandpa has the heart of a lion
And a lifetime ban from the zoo
π︎ 16
π
︎ Sep 02 2020
My horoscope told me I was going to be heart broken in 12 years
So I bought a puppy to cheer myself up
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jul 08 2020
My grandfather has the heart of a lion...
...and a lifetime ban from the local zoo.
π︎ 26
π
︎ Aug 17 2020
I have the heart of a lionβ¦
And a lifetime ban from the San Diego Zoo.
π︎ 57
π
︎ May 29 2020
My old grandad has the heart of a lion.
And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 11 2020
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
