Notice the hand gesture [OC]
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sappydayz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2020
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Microwave

(noun) A hand gesture used by a midget as a greeting.

Cool, that midget over there just gave me a microwave!

^{Source: ^Bullwade ^Anguish ^Dictionary}

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BinBender
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2021
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This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

β€œWell” said Jeff, β€œAs I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

β€œYes of course” replied Trevor

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Bus Driver

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts,which he gratefully munches up.

After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.

She repeats this gesture about five more times.

When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, 'Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?'. 'We can't chew them because we've no teeth', she replied.

The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?' The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hayeshilton
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
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A favor for my professor

In class today, my professor asked for someone to "flip off the lights" so we could start the movies. I was on the other side of the room from the light-switch but I did what I could...

I flashed a particular hand gesture toward the lights.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/italian6th
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2014
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My Dad says this joke every time we're at the dinner table

Someone: Ooh I think I've eaten something that disagrees with me..

Dad:Gestures with his hand in front of their stomach, symbolizing their stomach talking "No you haven't!!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anunnymous
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2014
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Watching The Sing Off

The group of Filipino boys had suits on with super skinny neckties

Me: Those are little ties

Husband: They aren't Thai, they're Filipino (does the point-point-point hand gesture)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/a-ohhh
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2013
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