So back in February, my wife and I are at the BMW dealership in Cincinnati test driving the M240iX. At the time I was pretty enamored of it, but really had my heart set on a 2016 ATS-V or M2.
During the walk around with the BMW Genius, I wiped my fingers on one of the rims and it came back deep black. As a BMW newbie, I found the brakes on this thing to be HUGE. As big or bigger than my old Z06. Enough to give my old 2008 STi a complex. Those dark blue M calipers. Prettiest brakes I’ve ever considered owning. The Genius laughs at the coal black streak on my fingers and says “yeah, brake dust won’t be your friend.” I asked how much a brake job was and he says “about 1600 dollars”.
“Fuck me. 1600 bucks? For all four wheels?”
“Nope just the front.”
So....I bought the M240iX anyway, despite...or maybe because of...those big expensive brakes.
Today, those brakes saved some asshole’s life.
This morning, I'm coming home from dropping the kids off at daycare. I'm an IT guy and I work from home. Here in West Chester, Ohio most of the main streets butt right up to neighbor’s yards. No sidewalks. Typically there’s a gully that separates the yard from the street with drainage that runs underneath the driveways. The snazzier houses have little tiny bridges over said gullies, adorned with flowers and ivy and shit. Cutesy. But those gullies all still have grass on em and someone’s gotta mow that grass.
Long story short (yeah yeah - too late), as I’m going 35-40, I spy this grey haired mulletted dude in red flannel mowing his little drainage ditch coming out from behind a tall bush. I take my foot off the accelerator. At almost the worst time this dude somehow slips sideways and falls partially into the street.
I don’t remember much aside from thinking “well, I’ve never killed anyone before so this’ll be a first”. I mashed the brakes. The car stopped in time without so much as a skid. Just lots of dipping. I couldn’t see the guy anymore, didn’t feel a thump. He gets back up maybe a few feet from my front bumper and gives me a quick embarrassed “thanks for not crushing my torso” wave and hops back to the center of his yard, puts his hands on his knees and practically keels over. He then waves me on (I’ve got people backed up behind me).
As I’m driving home I’m alternating between pissed and “whoa that guy almost died”. If I’d run him over, it likely wouldn’t have been my fault. There’d be a civil thing that insurance would fight or settle on, and despite being TEC
... keep reading on reddit ➡Because if it is, thats stupid. Not only do you have to fish like crazy for 60 fish, but then get lucky. Please tell me its not true
So basically i have this character in my story that’s a mix of Delsin Rowe (infamous), Megamind & Deadpool.
Visually he’s a 5’8 alternative Mexican; Tan skin, dyed red tips w black hair, mullet fringe; a charcoal denim vest, a black ac/dc shirt WITH another grey long sleeve underneath, rolled sleeves with black jeans & converse
i’m stuck with fire powers but that’s a little too basic, any help is appreciated!!
Phil
Go post NSFW jokes somewhere else. If I can't tell my kids this joke, then it is not a DAD JOKE.
If you feel it's appropriate to share NSFW jokes with your kids, that's on you. But a real, true dad joke should work for anyone's kid.
Mods... If you exist... Please, stop this madness. Rule #6 should simply not allow NSFW or (wtf) NSFL tags. Also, remember that MINORS browse this subreddit too? Why put that in rule #6, then allow NSFW???
Please consider changing rule #6. I love this sub, but the recent influx of NSFW tagged posts that get all the upvotes, just seem wrong when there are good solid DAD jokes being overlooked because of them.
Thank you,
A Dad.
Well, toucan play at that game.
Martin Freeman, and Andy Serkis.
They also play roles in Lord of the Rings.
I guess that makes them the Tolkien white guys.
I was at the airport in Tampa picking up my brother, and we were outside where the cars wait to pick people up, and I was just looking around bored. I saw a grey Honda something (looked like a regular rental car) driving by, and I looked just to look, and in the front passenger seat [looked like] Post Malone, and two other young dudes, one driving and one in the seat behind him.
I saw all those face tattoos and it looked just like that pic, but it looked like the "mullet" part of his hair was shaved off, so he only had the top of his hair curly. but it was curly and the same hair color
http://cdn01.cdn.justjared.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/08/post-newalbum/post-malone-reveals-when-to-expect-new-album-04.jpg this is more accurate to how he looked, his hair wasnt that long and i think he had a beard
and another thing that makes me think it was him was that Post and the guy behind them had a big smile on their face looking back (towards the people he was driving by). Their body language, to me, looked like "Holy shit dude!! Haha!" like as if something happened, like a fan noticed him or something. but i get it, im ready for the "do u think he travels without security/in a ferrari", just curious if he posted something on instagram or snapchat (dont have it)
also im not really a huge post malone fan so this isn't biased lol
She said apple-lutely
'Eye-do'
This is my first post pls don't kill me lol.
The people in the comment section is why I love this subreddit!!
Cred once again my sis wants credit lol
I heard parents named their children lance a lot.
First post please don't kill me
Edit: i went to sleep and now my inbox is dead, thank you kind strangers for the awards!
Keep in mind, my son is 4 years old, so everything is an original to him.
I had to work late into the evening yesterday, and he was just going to bed when I got home. I had left home for the office nearly 14 hours prior, had a long day, lots of meetings, traffic, etc.
When I walked through the door, I was exhausted, run down, and starving. My wife hugged me and asked how my day was, and I replied, "Done. It was a good day, but has got me exhausted. I just want to grab a bite and go to bed. I'm hungry."
From my son's bedroom, I hear him shout, "Hi Hungry! Nice to meet you!"
Not only did it make me laugh, but I completely forgot about how hungry and tired I was. I went to his bedroom, and we laughed together about it. It was exactly what I needed.
Edit: Thanks for all the awards, kind strangers! I'll let my son know y'all enjoyed his joke too!
Japan.
Windows
second hand stores!
it's Hans free now..
Old Neeeeiiiiighvy
10+10 is twenty and 11+11 is twenty too
A buck-an-ear!
I Thank ye kind Matey for the booty! I be truly overwhelmed! Thank you!
Holy cow! Thank you everyone for the upvotes and awards! I wasn’t expecting this!
and not:
