I know these puns and the sub they came from deserve to be huckleburied in an unmarked grave. But please grant me Clemensy.
When the Wright Brothers were arrested for trespassing at Kitty Hawk, the judge refused to grant them bail...
...he considered them a flight risk.
**Genie: I will grant you 2 wishes** **Me: I want to be rich.** **Genie: Okay granted, second wish?** **Rich: I'd like loads of money.**
Taken from fb
[need for help] Pun experts, share the best pun you know about academia/professors/education/writing for grants. Any help deeply appreciated!
EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short
I’ve started an organization that grants scholarships to former armed services individuals that want to become animal doctors. Grantees are awarded based on an interview process.
I call it “Best bets for vetting vets for vets”
Our local cricket club applied to the council for a grant.
They got Hugh.
A genie grants me 3 wishes. I Ask to be rich.
Genie: what is your 2nd wish rich.
...and God said "come forth and I will grant you eternal life."
But I came fifth and just got a toaster.
Sometimes we take game spin-offs for grant-ed
I’ve recently heard a rumor of a magical cow that can grant wishes
They say it’s legendairy.
Hugh Grant stars in political romance coming 12th Dec imgur.com/fJOmd5g
Genie: I grant you three wishes
Me: I want a world without lawyers
Genie: Done, your three wishes are over
Me: I still have two left!
Genie: Sue me
I lost my copy of the first book in Michael Grant's best-selling novel series
It's Gone
What's a mystical car that can grant you three wishes?
A lambor-genie
What did the student loan say to the grant?
Hey Pell.
Eddy Grant has started a very profitable energy provider for homes
Have you seen his Electric Revenue?
Henry rubs a magical lamp, a Genie pops out and grants him 3 wishes
Genie: What will your wish be?
Henry: I want to be rich
Genie: Of course, your wish is granted. What will you second wish be?
Rich: I want a lot of money...
What do you call a genie who can only grant cloth-related wishes?
A wishing machine.
Man 1: "Is your name Grant?" Man 2: "No, Im Ed."
Man 1: "I'm sorry I took you for Grant, Ed."
Where did General Grant keep his armies?
In his sleevies!
Dr. Grant was a pioneer of the dadjoke
http://gfycat.com/SkinnyVeneratedGoldeneye
Got a big grant today. Wife is awesome, had brownies in the oven for me when I got home.
