I know these puns and the sub they came from deserve to be huckleburied in an unmarked grave. But please grant me Clemensy.
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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When the Wright Brothers were arrested for trespassing at Kitty Hawk, the judge refused to grant them bail...

...he considered them a flight risk.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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**Genie: I will grant you 2 wishes** **Me: I want to be rich.** **Genie: Okay granted, second wish?** **Rich: I'd like loads of money.**

Taken from fb

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πŸ‘€︎ u/XDG-Diggz74
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2021
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[need for help] Pun experts, share the best pun you know about academia/professors/education/writing for grants. Any help deeply appreciated!

EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sedulas
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2020
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I’ve started an organization that grants scholarships to former armed services individuals that want to become animal doctors. Grantees are awarded based on an interview process.

I call it β€œBest bets for vetting vets for vets”

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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Our local cricket club applied to the council for a grant.

They got Hugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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A genie grants me 3 wishes. I Ask to be rich.

Genie: what is your 2nd wish rich.

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/im_the_clone
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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...and God said "come forth and I will grant you eternal life."

But I came fifth and just got a toaster.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2020
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Sometimes we take game spin-offs for grant-ed
πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisismyfirstday
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2019
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I’ve recently heard a rumor of a magical cow that can grant wishes

They say it’s legendairy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scooby_dyver
πŸ“…︎ Jun 16 2020
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Hugh Grant stars in political romance coming 12th Dec imgur.com/fJOmd5g
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VisualShock1991
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2019
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Genie: I grant you three wishes

Me: I want a world without lawyers

Genie: Done, your three wishes are over

Me: I still have two left!

Genie: Sue me

πŸ‘︎ 57
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πŸ‘€︎ u/fool_of_atook
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I lost my copy of the first book in Michael Grant's best-selling novel series

It's Gone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jmang00
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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What's a mystical car that can grant you three wishes?

A lambor-genie

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fitzz7
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2019
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What did the student loan say to the grant?

Hey Pell.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rottyhorrorshow
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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Eddy Grant has started a very profitable energy provider for homes

Have you seen his Electric Revenue?

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2019
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Henry rubs a magical lamp, a Genie pops out and grants him 3 wishes

Genie: What will your wish be?

Henry: I want to be rich

Genie: Of course, your wish is granted. What will you second wish be?

Rich: I want a lot of money...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/baino39
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
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What do you call a genie who can only grant cloth-related wishes?

A wishing machine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/adgrig
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2019
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Man 1: "Is your name Grant?" Man 2: "No, Im Ed."

Man 1: "I'm sorry I took you for Grant, Ed."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/vaxis2113
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
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Where did General Grant keep his armies?

In his sleevies!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/joweebee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2017
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My boss didn't grant me time off this season

Disappointed, I muttered under my breath "gimme a break"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/resolvetotonic
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2017
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Dr. Grant was a pioneer of the dadjoke

http://gfycat.com/SkinnyVeneratedGoldeneye

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thebigsexy1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2015
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Got a big grant today. Wife is awesome, had brownies in the oven for me when I got home.
πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/camram07
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2015
🚨︎ report
Genie: I will grant you three wishes

Man: I wanna be rich!

Genie: What is your second wish, Rich?

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eachard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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