24 Hilarious Grant Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I know these puns and the sub they came from deserve to be huckleburied in an unmarked grave. But please grant me Clemensy.

👍︎ 10

💬︎

👤︎ u/IOughtToBeThrownAway

📅︎ Apr 15 2021

🚨︎ report

When the Wright Brothers were arrested for trespassing at Kitty Hawk, the judge refused to grant them bail...

...he considered them a flight risk.

👍︎ 7

💬︎

👤︎ u/KW-DadJoker

📅︎ Mar 31 2021

🚨︎ report

**Genie: I will grant you 2 wishes** **Me: I want to be rich.** **Genie: Okay granted, second wish?** **Rich: I'd like loads of money.**

Taken from fb

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/XDG-Diggz74

📅︎ Jan 03 2021

🚨︎ report

[need for help] Pun experts, share the best pun you know about academia/professors/education/writing for grants. Any help deeply appreciated!

EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/Sedulas

📅︎ Sep 19 2020

🚨︎ report

I’ve started an organization that grants scholarships to former armed services individuals that want to become animal doctors. Grantees are awarded based on an interview process.

I call it “Best bets for vetting vets for vets”

👍︎ 9

💬︎

👤︎ u/DinglebarryHandpump

📅︎ Oct 01 2020

🚨︎ report

Our local cricket club applied to the council for a grant.

They got Hugh.

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/Brucemoose1

📅︎ Nov 06 2020

🚨︎ report

A genie grants me 3 wishes. I Ask to be rich.

Genie: what is your 2nd wish rich.

👍︎ 18

💬︎

👤︎ u/im_the_clone

📅︎ Sep 16 2020

🚨︎ report

...and God said "come forth and I will grant you eternal life."

But I came fifth and just got a toaster.

👍︎ 20

💬︎

👤︎ u/KW-DadJoker

📅︎ May 26 2020

🚨︎ report

Sometimes we take game spin-offs for grant-ed

👍︎ 15

💬︎

👤︎ u/thisismyfirstday

📅︎ Oct 25 2019

🚨︎ report

I’ve recently heard a rumor of a magical cow that can grant wishes

They say it’s legendairy.

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/scooby_dyver

📅︎ Jun 16 2020

🚨︎ report

Hugh Grant stars in political romance coming 12th Dec imgur.com/fJOmd5g

👍︎ 20

💬︎

👤︎ u/VisualShock1991

📅︎ Nov 26 2019

🚨︎ report

Genie: I grant you three wishes

Me: I want a world without lawyers

Genie: Done, your three wishes are over

Me: I still have two left!

Genie: Sue me

👍︎ 57

💬︎

👤︎ u/fool_of_atook

📅︎ Sep 12 2019

🚨︎ report

I lost my copy of the first book in Michael Grant's best-selling novel series

It's Gone

👍︎ 16

💬︎

👤︎ u/jmang00

📅︎ Feb 10 2020

🚨︎ report

What's a mystical car that can grant you three wishes?

A lambor-genie

👍︎ 4

💬︎

👤︎ u/Fitzz7

📅︎ Nov 17 2019

🚨︎ report

What did the student loan say to the grant?

Hey Pell.

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/rottyhorrorshow

📅︎ Nov 22 2019

🚨︎ report

Eddy Grant has started a very profitable energy provider for homes

Have you seen his Electric Revenue?

👍︎ 5

💬︎

👤︎ u/GaryTheKnight

📅︎ Aug 12 2019

🚨︎ report

Henry rubs a magical lamp, a Genie pops out and grants him 3 wishes

Genie: What will your wish be?

Henry: I want to be rich

Genie: Of course, your wish is granted. What will you second wish be?

Rich: I want a lot of money...

👍︎ 26

💬︎

👤︎ u/baino39

📅︎ Aug 20 2018

🚨︎ report

What do you call a genie who can only grant cloth-related wishes?

A wishing machine.

👍︎ 2

💬︎

👤︎ u/adgrig

📅︎ Apr 22 2019

🚨︎ report

Man 1: "Is your name Grant?" Man 2: "No, Im Ed."

Man 1: "I'm sorry I took you for Grant, Ed."

👍︎ 11

💬︎

👤︎ u/vaxis2113

📅︎ Oct 06 2018

🚨︎ report

Where did General Grant keep his armies?

In his sleevies!

👍︎ 9

💬︎

👤︎ u/joweebee

📅︎ Jan 05 2017

🚨︎ report

My boss didn't grant me time off this season

Disappointed, I muttered under my breath "gimme a break"

👍︎ 3

💬︎

👤︎ u/resolvetotonic

📅︎ Dec 04 2017

🚨︎ report

Dr. Grant was a pioneer of the dadjoke

http://gfycat.com/SkinnyVeneratedGoldeneye

👍︎ 45

💬︎

👤︎ u/thebigsexy1

📅︎ Mar 30 2015

🚨︎ report

Got a big grant today. Wife is awesome, had brownies in the oven for me when I got home.

Nailed it

👍︎ 17

💬︎

👤︎ u/camram07

📅︎ Apr 02 2015

🚨︎ report

Genie: I will grant you three wishes

Man: I wanna be rich!

Genie: What is your second wish, Rich?

👍︎ 13

💬︎

👤︎ u/eachard

📅︎ Aug 10 2020

🚨︎ report