After I went to the dentist, I went and recorded a gospel album. My mouth was still numb, so I was drooling the whole time.

The album's called "Songs of Salivation".

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👤︎ u/iMakeCrap
📅︎ Apr 27 2021
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Today they sentenced the infamous "Country, Rap, Gospel and Classical Music Killer" to death

He's going to get the eclectic chair.

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📅︎ Feb 04 2020
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What did Jesus say to the gospel writer?

"Mark, my words!"

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👤︎ u/nemo_sum
📅︎ Mar 02 2019
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Has anyone ever read the Gospel of Shrek?

Just open the Bible to Psalm-

BODY ONCE TOLD ME

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📅︎ Sep 03 2015
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Son, take the bible with a grain of salt...

... hence, don't take it as gospel.

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📅︎ Sep 25 2020
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Traveling Evangelical Geese...

My morning walk with the dog was cut short today. There's a park we usually wander through so she can sniff and explore, but today we couldn't get in because the path was blocked by an army of angry geese.

I was telling my mom about this and she mentioned there are geese at the river where she and a friend take their dogs, too. She said they must all be in town for some kind of conference. Then she paused for half a second and continued:

I bet it's a religious thing. They're here to preach the goosepel.

(To satisfy the rule: that's a play on gospel.)

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📅︎ Aug 12 2019
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My uncle to my cousin about a bunch of churchgoers singing in CiCi's pizza place.

Cousin: They had just got back from church or something and all of them were just singing gospel stuff or something

Uncle: Oh, were they singing a bowlful of salad? I mean a soulful ballad?

The man is a legend.

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📅︎ Jul 14 2014
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