Going Underground Puns

My doctor says I have carpool tunnel syndrome.

He's got car pool tunnel syndrome.

I remember years ago when in my remote town in Alaska there were 10 men stuck underground. I don't recall the circumstances that got them into this situation but it was clear that if they didn't get out soon they weren't going to make it.

All of our local rescue and public services were unable to get them out and they were running out of time. With only 18 hours remaining they sent for the only expert who could help, a rescue operations legend Mr. Puh. If he could get a plane into town it could make all the difference.

I remember gathering around the radio, biting our nails, as weather conditions worsened and threatened the planes journey.

I don't remember how long I stayed awake that night, but I will never forget the words I heard when I turned the radio on in the morning: "Puh not in, ten dead."

My son commented on a sign that said "Lavatory" instead of "Restroom".

I said "So, if a Lavatory is underground, does that make is a Magmatory?"

Eyerolls from the boy, but my wife laughed, so I got that going for me.

So we're heading into the underground station on a downwards escalator after work.

Me: Hey guys, escalators go up right? Them: Uh... Yeah... Me: So this downwards one, would it be a de-escalator? -Insert groans and shaking heads-