Get that extra pep in your step from this well
Why did Harry Potter get along well with Postmen?
It's because he spoke parcel-tongue.
I read that in medieval times, if you lost your castle to invaders during a siege, it was incredibly unlikely that you’d get the well-fortified tower area back.
Guys back then were playing for keeps.
Little Johnny has diarrhoea and asks his mom, "Hey mom, do you have Viagra?" The mom goes, "What? What on Earth do you need that for?" "Well, isn't that what you give dad when his shit doesn't get hard?"
Me and my jug of water get on well.
I told my wife I was going to accompany her to get her Covid Vaccine, and see if they could do mine as well. She said they probably wouldn't. I replied, "I don't know..."
Why did the horses get along so well?
They were in a stable relationship
2018: « Yo, dude, get woke. » 2019: « C'me on, get woke, it's 2019 ! » 2020: «... Hi. Well you could get e-woke I guess. »
Why do vegan rappers get along with each other so well?
Because they don’t have beef.
Son: Dad what are you going to do today? Dad: Well first I'm going to get a pair of glasses. Son: And after that?
What do you get when playing football as well as when asking a girl out?
I get my deep well of empathy from my mother, obviously.
Why do parallel lines get on so well?
Because they’re straight up with each other.
I heard that Big-Ben workers get paid very well.
They work around the clock.
You get 4 in a pack, well played Pot Noodle!
Do you want to why I get along well with short people?
It’s because they look up to me.
Well It's 1 for the Money, 2 For the Show, 3 To Get Ready.....
4 For Sales
5 For Customer Service or
6 to hear these options again
So, I was on the train the other day, and you know how it takes a while to get to the city, well my phone battery was flat and I didn't have a book, so I was a bit bored, but then I realised that there is all this cool graffiti on the tunnel walls... and um... so my phone was dead... and.. the city?
Oh darn it! I lost my train of thought.
My government teacher always said he was gonna get around to it. Well I guess he finally did.
I get ignored so much, might as well be called terms and conditions
My brothers hate me and my mom might well be on her way to disowning me because I told them the Flash didn't need to get shocked by lighting...
since he was already Barry fast.
^(sighs)
My dad however, is very proud of me.
Trying to get my dad to answer a question doesn't go so well...
My friend couldn't afford his water bill last month. So I sent him a "Get Well Soon" Card.
I always wanted to name my kid Thustorm, and teach him to play hockey well enough to get him scouted by Boston...
...then I could say "Thustorm's a Bruin."
I have trained them well, now the wife is in on it... Me: (after a long hot weekend) I need to get a fan.
Wife: Woo! You're the best. Gooooo husband!
My wife asked me to get the milk from the fridge. I asked if she wanted slim or whole. She said whole. I asked if she needed the butter, as well. She said no.
She wanted the milk, the whole milk, and nothing but the milk.
my nine year old cousin has been in the hospital for a few days, and this was in one of her get well soon cards
imgur.com/ycki78f
I don't get along with my new dentist very well
We've had a few teething problems.
I told my sister "one time, a teacher of mine gave me a list of 10 puns so that I could make sense of them." She asked " well, did any of them make sense?" I told her "No pun in ten did." My sister laughed and said "I get it, did you intend that?" I said "Nope, unintended."
Well the thing is, to get rocks cheap..
..you need to get them on shale
Why did the 2 Egyptian farters get along so well?
Because they had a Tutankhamen.
I get a weird feeling around people who aren't well…
I call refer to that feeling as my "sick sense"
I hope that joke wasn't too dull, but hey, it only cost six scents.
Not to be mistaken for a half dozen walking trees from Lord of the Rings… You know, Six Ents.
You don't need a sixth sense to know this can't go on forever.
I think my dad will get on well here.
Oh well, I guess they just don't get us at /r/pussypassdenied
http://reddit.com/r/pussypassdenied/comments/2uje4n/bully_female_gets_knocked_out_by_younger_male/co9dvcg
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