When you're a in the sauna enjoying your solitude when Ashton Kutcher walks in...

You just got steam plunked.

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Jan 21 2018
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aka Bread Willis-Kutcher

Me, i.e. dad: This bread is delicious. Is it sourdough?

Wife, i.e. wife: Heck if I know. It's just a demi baguette.

Me: You know what they call if you buy two?

Wife: No; what?

Me: Demi Moore.

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👤︎ u/EEMIV
📅︎ Aug 03 2015
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If celebrities were types of wood

Spruce Willis (Bruce Willis)

Matthew Mahogany (Matthew Maconahay? Tell me how to spell it)

Mirk Russel (Kurt Russel)

Clint Oakwood (Clint Eastwood)

Benedict Lumberthatch (Benedict Cumberbatch)

Ashwood Kutcher (Ashton Kutcher)

Birch Reynolds (Bert Reynolds)

Russel Branch (Russel Brand)

Dwayne "The Log" Johnson (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson)

👍︎ 8
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📅︎ Aug 23 2019
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