Do you want to hear a genuinely good joke?

Oops. Wrong sub.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PeskiePete
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2020
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I've genuinely lost my voice

Said no one, ever

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2019
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Found this on Instagram and I genuinely found it funny πŸ˜…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeet-lol
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2019
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The first time I genuinely laughed at a customer’s joke

The new Aquaman Pez dispenser looks like Jesus. A man was checking out, picked it up and said. Man: is this a Jesus Pez dispenser Me: no that’s Aquaman Man: Oh wow I guess all fish no loaves huh

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
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I genuinely got them mixed up, but it worked beautifully
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PadlingtonYT
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2017
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I genuinely have a dentist appointment this week at 2:30.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dreamerkid001
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2017
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I genuinely wanted to know...

Me: How do you make a milkshake?

Dad: Tell it a scary story!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jharlow
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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This is the first dad joke my dad has made in years, and it made me genuinely furious.

Me: "Heh, Barrack Obamas initials are B. O."

Dad: "Wow, that stinks."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_ME_A_DOGE
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2015
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Today I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can safely wear it on your head.

Because it’s capsized.

πŸ‘︎ 848
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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Cereal and parallel
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πŸ‘€︎ u/siv314271
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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Darth Vader knows what you’re getting for Christmas

He felt your presents

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2020
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I have been reading some history on the French revolution and found out what happened to Louis XVI's head

[removed]

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zekesnack
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2020
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How do we know all ants are girls?

Because if they were boys and we’d call them uncles.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chawjubs
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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The day my daughter turns 18, I’m going to buy her a locket, put her picture in it, and when she opens it tell her:

β€œWell, I guess now you really are… independent"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daudelin1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2020
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Believe it or not, my wife appreciates my input when we go shopping for decorations...

...the one thing I actually look forward to when we go to Hobby Lobby is the moment we're walking through the store, I try to keep a perfectly straight face and act like I have a genuine interest in something on the shelf, I reach up and I say something like, "Oh, look at this nice little Stool sample!"

(Not really a joke, but a true dad joke recurring scenario of mine)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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Confusing Venus with Aphrodite is no big deal.

It’s just a mythunderstanding.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thatoneevilpigeon
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
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I live in genuine terror of boiling an egg and cracking it open to find a dead, boiled chick inside

No yolk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnnoyingChef
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2019
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Why is John Cena always invisible?

"Because he's JOHN SEE NAH (No see)"

  • my boomer dad who I thought he's asking a genuine question
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kawaii-lau
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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What do you call a sailor who you don’t like?

A w-anchor.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
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My job is telling genuine trees apart from fake trees. I was so worried I'd be bad at it but as it happens I'm quite good.

That's a real leaf.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoAdenine
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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Wife: β€œAsk me a genuine question!”

Me: shrugs β€œokay, Jen, you in the kitchen?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/garboooge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
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Had to have blood taken today. Staff tried to put needle in but didn't go into the blood vessel.

So since it didn't go in the vein, it was in vain

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
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Lungs at stake
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dammchicka
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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When I die Iβ€˜m expecting lots of crying, lots of wailing, genuine sadness.

Bereave you me.

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2019
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(Genuine) My dad has been Diabetic (type 1) since he was 19

When he tells people he always says he's "diabolic" before correcting himself. 15 years at least he's been saying it and it never gets old.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dlittlefair1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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What do cats like to read?

Catalogs...my nephew told me this one today and I genuinely chuckled a little.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/enginerrsarekool
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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I've stopped paying $6 for sham poo

After all, I make my own DIY genuine poo every morning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
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Thank you

This isn't a dad joke. This is a thank you to everyone on this subreddit. 6 weeks ago the love of my life broke things off with me due to factors attributed to my mental health (which i didn't tell her about because she is struggling with uni and i didn't want her to worry) and I've been having an extremely difficult time coming to terms with it. She's falling for another guy while I've been self destructing to the point where she never wants to talk to me again. But i found this subreddit today, the jokes are so stupid and funny that for the first time since before the breakup, I've laughed and it was genuine. Thank you so much for your stupid jokes. You've saved my life as far as I'm concerned. I still have a long way to to, but this subreddit is definitely going to get me through it. Thank you πŸ’–

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xcixjames
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
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Pan left
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/supercoincidence
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
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I have a playlist of songs from Eminem, The Cranberries, and the Peanuts.

I named it The Trail Mix.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bbtehbuild
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2019
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What did 50 cent do when he got hungry?

Edit: I genuinely didn’t know this was a repost my dad told it to me and I thought it was worthy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JJ4mmer
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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Took me a minute...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/richcowlonglegs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2019
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My girlfriend likes to take the stairs but I prefer taking the elevator

I guess we were raised defferently.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SlovenianGregor
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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What do you call a genuine cockney alligator?

A propagator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sandysingssongs
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2018
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I wish I can be like that parent when I grow up
πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Athena123YT
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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I farted and blamed it on the dog.

It was a lie of emission.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KaleMcDouble
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2019
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We all know racecar backwards is racecar, but what is racecar upside down?

Expensive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lukewarm_tequila
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2019
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What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?

An irrelephant...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DanGlerrBOY89
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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Got a genuine laugh from this one...

Driving out of the parking lot:

Me: Oh look, it's Left Turn only. All-right.

This one got a hearty, genuine laugh. Does it still count as a 'dad joke'?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/socalitguy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2014
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As I get older and remember all the people I've lost along the way, I think to myself...

"Maybe a career as a tour guide isn't right for me?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/washcapsfan37
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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Schindler’s Lift
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bakedpotatopiguy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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Write a genuine sentence that has the word "and" five times consecutively.

Technically a riddle not a joke but it's always amused me. My dad told me this well over 30 years ago.

"I asked you to paint a sign for my pub "The Dog And Duck" but you didn't leave enough space between "Dog" and "And" and "And" and "Duck.".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BitcoinBanker
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2015
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I got a genuine laugh when I dad joked my wife and 9 year old son today. :) Wife: Do you know Trevor Wang?

Wife: "Do you know Trevor Wang?"

My 9 year old son Xavier: "You mean Trevor Wong? Yeah, he's a trouble maker."

Wife: "Trevor? No he's not, he's a good kid."

Me: "I think Xavier's right and Trevor's Wong."

rimshot

I actually got a laugh. I'm gonna savor this time while my son still likes my dad jokes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goconrad
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2014
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Dads United

The approval rating of dad jokes in my household has fallen farther and harder than Hans off Nakatomi in my household of late. Not to be a big baby, but it's been really disheartening for me.

We all know our dad jokes can get tiring and annoying; that's part of the point. True masters carefully toe the line between just enough and too much, and to great effect. We do it because we genuinely want to bring joy to those around us with almost child-like mirth.

Not be able to share that with my family lately has been disappointing.

But coming to this sub warms my heart. So thank you to all of you here.

I am very grateful. #obligatoryset-up;)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sherwoodsteele
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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(OC) I have tendancy to take things literally.

I just got out of jail for shoplifting.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/YeahBut-I-Thought
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2019
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My Dad never told me a Dad joke

No punchline, my Dad genuinely doesn't tell me any jokes. But he does have a nickname for me...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zillax90
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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