My wife has been telling me to put a stop to my animal impressions for a while now. Today, she furiously told to me stop a flamingo impression I had been practicing for a while now.
I realized that was it, and I had to put my foot down.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Feb 02 2021
Furiously honks car horn in the middle of no where without a car in sight.
Kids: looks up from their phones, βwhy did you do that for?β
Dad: βto scare away the elephants!β
Kids: βwhat elephants?!!β
Dad: βsee itβs working!β
ββ
Thank you! Thank you very much!
π︎ 50
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
I was racing with my younger brother on the track, and then he got mad that I didnβt draw a finish line marker on the sand. We kept racing but he kept losing, and at one point he got so mad he threw a tantrum and started hitting and punching and kicking me furiously
.....and thatβs when I drew the line.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 12 2020
So a council meeting involving a large sum of employees were under major stress on what to call their restaurant. The team leader was furiously dissatisfied and screamed:
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 25 2018
I'm so furious about my postmans route that I pull my hair out
I call it mail pattern baldness
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
So, they have just announced the tenth Fast and Furious movie...
π︎ 88
π
︎ Nov 29 2020
The 10th Fast and Furious film should be called...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
My wife is furious at our next door neighbour who sunbathes topless in the garden.
Personally,Iβm on the fence.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 04 2020
Heard the 10th Fast and The Furious movie is gonna be about car safety
Working title is called Fast 10: Your Seatbelt
π︎ 34
π
︎ Sep 11 2020
After I joined the army, I served in a furious war of Iraq , when we came home, I was sent to jail, I don't understand why......
My lieutenant said , fire in the hole and I fired In his hole .
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 29 2020
They say John Cena's in the new fast and furious movie
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
My wife is furious at me for buying an expensive make-your-own-perfume kit.
But it just made scents to me.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jul 29 2019
My wife was furious at me for kicking ice-cubes all over the kitchen...
But now itβs just water under the fridge...
π︎ 61
π
︎ Apr 20 2020
The Fast and The Furious 10 title should be dedicated to Paul Walker
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Mar 18 2019
How do you make pirate furious?
π︎ 446
π
︎ Dec 21 2019
My wife got FURIOUS with me for having no sense of direction.
So I packed up my stuff and right.
π︎ 45
π
︎ Feb 29 2020
I hope Fast & Furious 10 is called "Fast 10: Your Seatbelts "
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Sep 20 2017
My wife is furious at me for throwing a snowball at my son.
On top of it, Iβm also banned from the maternity ward.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Oct 06 2018
Which field do furious farmers work in?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 10 2020
I ate a kids meal at McDonald's today....
π︎ 364
π
︎ Nov 12 2020
Universal just announced the name of the next fast and furious movie!
It's called "fast 10: your seatbelts".
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 05 2020
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.
The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!
π︎ 15k
π
︎ Jul 04 2020
I really wanted to watch Fast and the Furious,
But the spoilers ruined it for me.
π︎ 275
π
︎ Feb 15 2019
Saw Han making his comeback in the new Fast & Furious 9 trailer
I bet none of the ladies are going to Wuhan
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 12 2020
What do you call a biblical character in Fast and Furious?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 27 2020
There making so many Fast'n Furious movies so they can make Fast10 your seatbelts
π︎ 11
π
︎ Mar 18 2019
My girlfriend was furious when I told her I put ginger in our curry.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Aug 29 2019
My wife is furious at my rare penny collection.
She says it completely lacks common cents.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Apr 18 2019
My dad was furious when I asked him if he could hand me a bookmark
After 23 years you would think I would learn that his name was actually David.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 07 2019
I heard a friend spreading nasty rumours about me, so I went over furious and said...
π︎ 411
π
︎ Apr 03 2017
I've got some really fond memories of the older Fast and Furious movies
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 06 2018
My wife warned me that if I take another picture of her, sheβll be furious.
π︎ 59
π
︎ Jul 19 2018
People are usually shocked when they find out Iβm not a very good electrician.
π︎ 411
π
︎ Sep 18 2019
My wife gets furious at me because of the way I face the toilet paper, but I told her I canβt help it.
Thatβs just how I roll.
π︎ 2
π
︎ May 22 2019
My wife is furious that I donβt clean the coffee from the machine after I am done with it.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Aug 17 2018
What's it called when a bunch of obese people have a drag race?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Oct 16 2020
The 10th film for The Fast and Furious was just announced
And its called "Fast Ten, Your Seatbelt"
π︎ 100
π
︎ Feb 06 2020
My wife is furious at our next door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard.
Personally, Iβm on the fence.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Aug 11 2018
My wife is furious at our nextdoor neighbour that sunbathes topless....
Personally I'm on the fence
π︎ 194
π
︎ Sep 07 2019
Can't wait for Fast and Furious 10
It will be titiled "Fast 10: Your Seatbelts"
π︎ 618
π
︎ Apr 19 2018
Whatβs Fast and the furious 10 going to be called?
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Feb 15 2018
My wife is furious at our next door neighbour who sunbathers topless in her backyard.
Personally, I'm on the fence.
π︎ 477
π
︎ Aug 14 2018
The next Fast & Furious should be called, "Fast10: Your Seat Belts"
π︎ 34
π
︎ Aug 07 2019
I figured out what the next fast and furious movie will be called
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Jan 06 2018
Did you see that Fast and Furious movie coming out?
It will be the fuel-good movie of the year.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 31 2020
My wife is furious at our next door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard
Personally, I'm on the fence
π︎ 133
π
︎ May 24 2019
I really wanted to watch Fast and the Furious, but the spoilers ruined it for me.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Feb 15 2019
My wife is furious at our next door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard.
Personally, Iβm on the fence.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 07 2019
Got the perfect title for the 10th fast and furious movie.
π︎ 189
π
︎ Jul 27 2017
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