My wife has been telling me to put a stop to my animal impressions for a while now. Today, she furiously told to me stop a flamingo impression I had been practicing for a while now.

I realized that was it, and I had to put my foot down.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JustiniR
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
🚨︎ report
Furiously honks car horn in the middle of no where without a car in sight.

Kids: looks up from their phones, β€œwhy did you do that for?”

Dad: β€œto scare away the elephants!”

Kids: β€œwhat elephants?!!”

Dad: β€œsee it’s working!”

β€”β€”

Thank you! Thank you very much!

πŸ‘︎ 50
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/crewthsr
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2020
🚨︎ report
I was racing with my younger brother on the track, and then he got mad that I didn’t draw a finish line marker on the sand. We kept racing but he kept losing, and at one point he got so mad he threw a tantrum and started hitting and punching and kicking me furiously

.....and that’s when I drew the line.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/singh_j
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
🚨︎ report
So a council meeting involving a large sum of employees were under major stress on what to call their restaurant. The team leader was furiously dissatisfied and screamed:
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Master_Keyhan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm so furious about my postmans route that I pull my hair out

I call it mail pattern baldness

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/suolisyopa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
So, they have just announced the tenth Fast and Furious movie...

Fast 10 Your Seat Belts.

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2020
🚨︎ report
The 10th Fast and Furious film should be called...

Fast-10 your seat belts.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife is furious at our next door neighbour who sunbathes topless in the garden.

Personally,I’m on the fence.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/justbeatitTTD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Heard the 10th Fast and The Furious movie is gonna be about car safety

Working title is called Fast 10: Your Seatbelt

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SamisNeat69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
After I joined the army, I served in a furious war of Iraq , when we came home, I was sent to jail, I don't understand why......

My lieutenant said , fire in the hole and I fired In his hole .

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sabishaw
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
🚨︎ report
They say John Cena's in the new fast and furious movie

But I didn't see him

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Robotcheese4
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is furious at me for buying an expensive make-your-own-perfume kit.

But it just made scents to me.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife was furious at me for kicking ice-cubes all over the kitchen...

But now it’s just water under the fridge...

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
The Fast and The Furious 10 title should be dedicated to Paul Walker

Fast 10: Your Seatbelts

πŸ‘︎ 11k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/paoerfuuul
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
How do you make pirate furious?

Remove the p

πŸ‘︎ 446
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SrGearhead
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife got FURIOUS with me for having no sense of direction.

So I packed up my stuff and right.

πŸ‘︎ 45
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sleeves14
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I hope Fast & Furious 10 is called "Fast 10: Your Seatbelts "
πŸ‘︎ 15k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kopfler
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2017
🚨︎ report
My wife is furious at me for throwing a snowball at my son.

On top of it, I’m also banned from the maternity ward.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Which field do furious farmers work in?

Angriculture

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I ate a kids meal at McDonald's today....

His mother was furious.

πŸ‘︎ 364
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Universal just announced the name of the next fast and furious movie!

It's called "fast 10: your seatbelts".

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wingmanbyheart
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I asked my son to go get me a phone book. He laughed, called me a dinosaur, and handed me his iPhone.

The spider is dead, the iPhone screen is cracked, and my son is furious!

πŸ‘︎ 15k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sierrasport
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I really wanted to watch Fast and the Furious,

But the spoilers ruined it for me.

πŸ‘︎ 275
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteWalterBlack
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Saw Han making his comeback in the new Fast & Furious 9 trailer

I bet none of the ladies are going to Wuhan

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrakeVader
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a biblical character in Fast and Furious?

Adam Driver

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MtxJosh
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
There making so many Fast'n Furious movies so they can make Fast10 your seatbelts
πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hibana_life
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend was furious when I told her I put ginger in our curry.

She loved the cat.

πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife is furious at my rare penny collection.

She says it completely lacks common cents.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad was furious when I asked him if he could hand me a bookmark

After 23 years you would think I would learn that his name was actually David.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_science_dude
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I heard a friend spreading nasty rumours about me, so I went over furious and said...

"You discussed me!"

πŸ‘︎ 411
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2017
🚨︎ report
I've got some really fond memories of the older Fast and Furious movies

Call that some NOStalgia

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomd0g
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife warned me that if I take another picture of her, she’ll be furious.

That’s when I snapped.

πŸ‘︎ 59
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
🚨︎ report
People are usually shocked when they find out I’m not a very good electrician.
πŸ‘︎ 411
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/khanglikestowin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife gets furious at me because of the way I face the toilet paper, but I told her I can’t help it.

That’s just how I roll.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife is furious that I don’t clean the coffee from the machine after I am done with it.

Grounds for divorce.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
🚨︎ report
What's it called when a bunch of obese people have a drag race?

The Fat And The Furious

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/stewithclou
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2020
🚨︎ report
The 10th film for The Fast and Furious was just announced

And its called "Fast Ten, Your Seatbelt"

πŸ‘︎ 100
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PM_ME_RAWR
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is furious at our next door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard.

Personally, I’m on the fence.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife is furious at our nextdoor neighbour that sunbathes topless....

Personally I'm on the fence

πŸ‘︎ 194
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/B-man44
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Can't wait for Fast and Furious 10

It will be titiled "Fast 10: Your Seatbelts"

πŸ‘︎ 618
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2018
🚨︎ report
What’s Fast and the furious 10 going to be called?

Fast 10: your seatbelts.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife is furious at our next door neighbour who sunbathers topless in her backyard.

Personally, I'm on the fence.

πŸ‘︎ 477
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/doogsie125
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2018
🚨︎ report
The next Fast & Furious should be called, "Fast10: Your Seat Belts"

Fasten your seat belts

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mcgrotts
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I figured out what the next fast and furious movie will be called

Fast 10: your seatbelts

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abdullahf01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you see that Fast and Furious movie coming out?

It will be the fuel-good movie of the year.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/benni_boi99
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife is furious at our next door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard

Personally, I'm on the fence

πŸ‘︎ 133
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GamingGod07770
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2019
🚨︎ report
I really wanted to watch Fast and the Furious, but the spoilers ruined it for me.
πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteWalterBlack
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife is furious at our next door neighbor who sunbathes topless in her backyard.

Personally, I’m on the fence.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
🚨︎ report
Got the perfect title for the 10th fast and furious movie.

Fast 10: your seatbelts

πŸ‘︎ 189
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Synergy_synner
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2017
🚨︎ report

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